Hello, All!
Once upon a time, I wondered if
there might be an urban market for duck eggs.
Suffice it to say, I did not get the statistical sex outcome of a 1:1 ratio based on an infinite number of ducks. IOW, I have eight drakelets, two ducks, and one lab/pit bull mix. And two cats.
They (the ducks) are 15 weeks old, and one of the fellows is acting somewhat randy. The ducks aren't laying yet, so I need to dispatch seven drakelets like yesterday.
I am going to dispatch them in the garage using a kill cone. Why the garage you ask? Because random people have called the cops on me for legally pumping
water from the river that abuts my property (that was fun), but if I were to stand out there smoking meth, they wouldn't bother me. I keep a
Police Water Package that includes copies of my water certificate and all the deeds going back to 18something or other, as well as a the definition of "riparian" as the last officer who came tried to Google it on his phone. I also keep a
Police Duck Package that includes all the laws and ordinances regarding having ducks within
city limits based the size of my property, county plat documents and handwritten calculations showing how many ducks I am allowed to keep by law.
As of today, no one has called the cops on me regarding the ducks. I can't even.
To the matter at hand. I have a lovely dog whom I leave outside with the ducks while I telework in the house. All she wants to do is sniff their butts and roll in their
poop. She understands the command "Leave those duckies alone" which I chose because when she was a puppy, I taught her "Leave those kitties alone."
So, my dog
is a dog, and I don't know if I
should board her when I'm dispatching and processing the ducks. Will her eyes go wild with raw meat fever? Will the rest of the flock be at risk? Will I
be at risk? Will she bring all her boys to the
yard and go all zombie on us? (I'm not afraid of her eating the cats or me. She likes poop.)
What say you? Will Joy develop a bloodlust that cannot be controlled?