Hi Jolene,
You have plenty of good reasons to be hesitant about RMHs.
But I do want to mention your two examples: love at first light and OMG, I burned my cabin down.
All RMHs are homeowner-built.
Quality control is in the hands of the homeowner or their designated competent person performing the build.
In the early days of RMH development, when J-Tubes were the most well-known, there were a lot of funky builds happening.
J-Tubes are so simple to make that anyone could build one, but not all folks are created equal.
Some are so very much smarter than the innovators that they make... improvements...
Cruising YouTube showed many questionably "improved" builds that the builder was super proud of, and they would be posting follow-up photos and results for years to come...
And you never hear from them again, we started jokingly referring to these questionable builds as " Flaming Units Of Death."
However, then you have the folks who can follow directions as stated, and not make "improvements."
This is no doubt how the lady with the round house acquired hers.
Built to specifications, an RMH is safer than any box stove made.