Elaborate ad for 33/f in Colorado. Update: Found boyfriend

I'm currently living between Summit County, Colorado and Jefferson County. Looking for aspiring ecovillages to get to know, eventually find healthy attraction and love,  and then plan a life together. If this is too long, don't read it

My stats: 5'8" female, biracial, trilingual, bisexual, hetero-romantic, sex positive/good-giving-game, 420 friendly-ish,  socially liberal / financially an economists daughter, snowboarder AND Skier, Cat AND dog lover, climber, walker, biker, paddler, swimmer, bushcrafter, musician, mother, sister, daughter, college-educated, Montessori educator, aviator. I've attached a screenshot of my  regular online dating profile, where I self filter for permie minded people. Pictures are important  since physical attraction matters, despite anything interesting I or you might say.

As for my desire to permie-it-up, here are my reasons:

1. I'm happiest when I am mulching, chopping, moving, organizing, and building while solving problems. The physical work that leads to tangible results satisfies my soul.

2a. In some respects one could consider myself to be prepper-like... because society is living in an unsustainable manner  and I worry about what the change-of-phase will look like. (From nomadic to agricultural to industrial, the transition phases may not have been as rude of an awakening as what we may have to endure!) Could it be lots of storms, pandemics, political upheaval, economic divides, and stacked cards leading to social unrest? I don't know! And I don't lose sleep over it, it's not that kind of worry, because I'm a teacher of a homeschool co-op and I stay up planning science experiments instead.

2b. I envision a post-phase-change-of-humanity, post consumerism /competition/industriousness, and i envision a bunch of ecovillages and cooperative organizational structures, all interconnected through technology and non consumerist trade, whether with currency or not....

i don't think each of us can thrive like we basically do in industrial-civilization (minus all the side effects of said civilization) and we don't have the ability to provide for just ourselves without relying on many others, so I think the network is important, not just for products we use to live but for mental and social health. We do consume to live, and we can produce a lot of it ourselves, plus excess to give others and receive others excess.

3. I want to start with buying land with certain features, water, timber, hills, and flat parts and building out an infrastructure for other tiny home dwellers to be able to come live cooperatively on the land. It's a beautiful way to provide economic equality for people who just want to survive, as well as opportunity for those who are inspired. In addition, (Have you seen the TEDx talk about the engineer who made blueprints for all the farm equipment he needed?) I want to make a community workshop where we can build and repair big farm equipment. My son would dig that.

4. For myself, I want to keep living tiny and organized like I do in my Skoolie.

Non permie related business wise, I want to get a license to teach people how to fly or test new pilots or something, and have a runway where little planes come to take their exams with me or have a school where people can learn. Hopefully very soon we will have affordable electric planes and not use Avigas much longer. It's inevitably so! So far I have a private pilots license and was about to go for my Instrument Rating when 2020 laughed at my plans. So I started a Montessori homeschool co op and that's been very successful, but not what I want to do long term.


I think what's holding me back from diving into an ecovillage is I live with my parents (and there's a lot to unpack there!) and I have a 10 year old and don't want to step away from all that, but that's also a lame excuse. Big stuff is just hard to do! Sometime the right time will come. Maybe catalyzed by a love interest

I wasn't going to live with my parents but they sort of insisted when I got pregnant at 23. I visited ecovillages of california and oregon but they all seemed like the devil I didn't know. So I chose the devil I knew which was my parents. After 4 years of being in Montgomery county MD where my parents were situated,  they moved to Colorado with me when I decided I wanted a change for lifestyle reasons. Dc sprawl is a shit show of unbalanced people, except for the lovely people of Malcolm X park drum circle on Sunday afternoons, friends from the River Road Unitarian Universalist congregation, and from the Montessori schools where we worked/attended.

Two years after our move to colorado (last year) my son and I bought a converted schoolbus and lived in it to go to a new school, a Montessori charter School. He is 10. He tells me I should be dating and supports finding a man in our life.

Worst part about dating me/deal breakers:
1. Currently our cuddle puddle includes our cat, who is 4 years old and awesome but contains allergens.

2. We eat meat, though I prefer plant based foods and fish. I'm gluten and casein allergic but still partake.

3. My mom disagrees with every plan I ever have, but we love each other anyway. My dad is generally supportive. They both worry about me and nobody will ever be good enough for me.

4. Agnostic but relatively spritual and relatively not spiritual, raised by atheist skeptics, but have had unaltered spiritual experiences and altered spiritual experiences, so.... Im spiritual but unommitted to knowing anything!

Hello Emmy,

I just have to ask...  You described yourself as "sex positive/good-giving-game"  Good... giving... game... uh, what game?  Huh?  I'm afraid that bit went right over my head.  Could you explain?  Inquiring minds want to know!  ; )

Otherwise, I was impressed by your post.  You obviously take this seriously, which right there puts you in the 90th percentile.  I have been dating online for many years, off and on, and I am forever amazed at how many people decide to put themselves "out there" on an online dating site, but then apparently only dedicate 5 minutes to their own profile.  A few generic cliches and a single crappy photo and they think they're good to go.  I mean for God's sake, you're advertising yourself, people - put a little work into it!

And they're shopping for romance, which most of us would consider kinda important.  Without even a tiny bit of thoughtful introspection, how on earth do they expect to get any good results?  How do they expect perspective mates to find them if they haven't expressed anything remotely telling about themselves?

I also wanted you to know that I laughed at your reference to the DC sprawl as "a shit show of unbalanced people."  I grew up in Southern Maryland, then lived in Arlington VA, worked in Northwest DC.  I know just what you mean.  I don't know if I'd be quite as hard on them as all that, but I will say I'm in no hurry to go back.  I think I could say as much for any dense metro area, though.

As for myself, I'm afraid I live far, far from Colorado.  And my own little piece of land that I'm developing into a suburban-scale permie homestead is far, far from an "ecovillage."  Still, I wish you all the best luck in love, life, and gardening : )

Hi Matthew! Good giving and game is a reference to dan savage, from the savage lovecast, when he says that as long as a kink doesn't directly offend you or risk involving non-consenting people, it's preferable to be game for trying stuff out, and even if it's not exactly your cup of tea, you're giving your partner a good experience.

You're right about those generic profiles. In mine I put my permaculture life goal, my own deal breakers (number if characters permitting) and what I'm looking for, which I had to elaborate because it seems most profiles look like they're looking for a climbing or snowsports partner, which I enjoy but can enjoy alone whether I have a partner or not.

Well, I'm in Colorado for the next 8 years because we scored a spot in an awesome Montessori School that goes through high school and has a farm. Plus, mountains! However,  I don't think colorado is the greatest place for permaculture cos of limited water rights and high land prices, so eventually I'm up for moving out of colorado.

What I described as my ideal ecovillage is one way I could live in line with my values, but with more experience I'm sure it can take on another form.

I've been reading a book called If Buddha Dated and it has some exercises that I need to do to get really clear on what sort of partner I'm looking for, so I'll do that soon, and I also noticed some ads on permies describe their partners cos I really couldn't say. I gotta work on that.

Thanks for explaining.  I'm not familiar with Dan Savage or his podcast, but I'd say I agree with him on this point.  My most recent girlfriend opened my horizons to all manner of kink that I'd never experienced before.  But I was game to give it a go, and in the end I found I was more into it than even she was.

I was intrigued by your skeptical comments regarding permie homesteading in Colorado.  I'm sure I wouldn't know.  Seemed like a lovely state to me, but I've only ever visited, and then only in Denver, Boulder, and a couple of ski resorts.

I totally appreciate your commitment to the area for as long as your son is in school.  If you've found a good one, then stick with it, because they aren't easy to find!

I can lay a fat butter through a powder bowl with a rooster tail denoting the made steaz by which I ride. I buzz the chair line because I know the ski bunnies want a look: it's cool.

I also bag dehydrated figs for market that grow from my branch drain greywater mulch basin.

Let's roll.

@matthew in terms of water rights,  I'd be happy to start permaculturing anywhere, even colorado. I think once the transition to a post industrial era happens the water rights won't be managed. Eventually! So as long as there's a creek or river I'd be happy with landing there, even if for now water rights aren't generous. But yeah, my timing will have to be spot on, like 2028, because the school is so good. The only downside is it doesn't have much technology, so I have to do that extra bit at home, buying electronics circuits and Arduino boards and k'nex and whatnot for STEM learning, since that's what he is into. The school just does farming and economics education as well as raising very balanced high schoolers which is WOW enough for me!

@tony woah, man. I've been googling those terms, buzzing ski lines, rooster tails? You must be out of my league, but let's roll. I ski fast, steep, and/or  Are you in colorado? I start teaching kids how to ski December 5 at Breckenridge and then I get my lift pass by working for Vail.. which gives many benefits besides just a lift pass that I'm grateful for!

Whoops. Fast, steep, and/or in the trees.

I liked skiing through the trees best, all alone, on virgin snow, blazing my own path where I could just lay down and meditate on a gorgeous winter day and know nobody was going to come behind me and plow me over.  Of course, if you get stuck or hurt out there in the woods, you'd be in real trouble!

This was back when I could ski, at least.

Emmy, that photo of you in skier/snow boarder gear is adorable!

My buddy lived in Breck for a while, that's awesome that you're teaching there. I used to love going up to Peak 6; such a fun area to drop into, skier's right if I remember (serenity bowl?). I got into splitboarding and for a few years was putting a 100+ days on my inbounds pass but really I'm pretty garbage. Like theoretically I can hit anything on the mountain but the really high consequence stuff I'll only hit on big softy fluffy days. I'm just not into going mach 7 flying between granite on dinner plate ice. Screw that. Same with the backcountry stuff. I'm over being happy that I'm not dead. Give me some gladed 25-30 degree terrain, all day long.

Just noticed that you're climbing, that's the summers for me. Winters is splitboard/board, summers is mountain bike, climb. I'm near the Eastern Sierra so Yosemite, Bishop, all that jazz. Again, I'm pretty garbage. I'll lead a 10b sport or 5.8 trad if it's protected well. For the really runnout hardcore stuff I hit up by big buff buddies to lead that action.

Anyway, have fun in CO, it's a great place. Breck was terrific. Cold, but terrific!

Update! I moved out of my skoolie, I'm living in Arvada, found a boyfriend through that profile screenshot: hinge, he's not a permaculture enthusiast, But neither am I at the moment. Just a house plant hobbyist... We are working out well and I think it's going places. We shall see how my life unfolds in terms of ecovillages, but I'm working on living in Arvada right now, for at least seven more years until my son graduates high school. Maybe I'll make enough money as a pilot to buy some land and retire as a permie homesteader. In the meantime I am doing the most unsustainable thing of studying how to be a pilot and teaching people how to fly and consuming lots 110 LL AVGas . sorry earth. I'll brb as the world burns.

What an interesting post, good to hear you found a significant other and things are working out for you.