posted 6 years ago
Hiring someone seems to bring dishonor on the concept of community to many people, but I think it’s a friendship-saver, and pretty cheap when split many ways.
Compromise on cleanliness levels in the sense of “you’re an eight, I’m a four, the house must be a six” does not seem to work. Everyone ends up unhappy.
My (albeit unsatisfactory) conclusion is that the person with the higher standard must do the extra cleaning, so long as the person with lower standards is not at the level of, like, roaches and rats and rotting garbage. The person with lower standards probably really doesn’t notice the mess, as you say, and will resent being coerced into doing what they will perceive as unnecessary make-work to suit someone else’s arbitrary standards. (This does not apply to people who demand a clean house but are unwilling to help—they’re just assholes—but to people who are perfectly happy to live in a messy house). Hopefully the person with lower standards can become aware and polite enough to not actively and immediately undo what the cleanly person has accomplished.
If there is something the cleanly person hates to do that the messy person doesn’t mind doing (grocery shopping, lawnmowing, bureaucracy?) this can be a pretty resentment-free trade-off for the extra cleaning, but even this will go sour if the messy person still goes around leaving jammy spoons stuck to various surfaces right after the cleanly person has cleaned them or whatever. Or if the cleanly person has ridiculously high standards and moans on and on about how martyred they are for having to do invented chores that no one else cares about.