• Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
permaculture forums growies critters building homesteading energy monies kitchen purity ungarbage community wilderness fiber arts art permaculture artisans regional education skip experiences global resources cider press projects digital market permies.com private forums all forums
this forum made possible by our volunteer staff, including ...
master stewards:
  • Nicole Alderman
  • Anne Miller
  • Pearl Sutton
  • Joylynn Hardesty
  • James Freyr
  • paul wheaton
stewards:
  • Mike Haasl
  • r ranson
  • Jocelyn Campbell
master gardeners:
  • Steve Thorn
  • Greg Martin
gardeners:
  • Jay Angler
  • thomas rubino
  • Kate Downham

Preventing or De-escalating Conflicts

 
steward
Posts: 5151
Location: United States
2044
transportation forest garden tiny house books urban greening the desert
  • Likes 6
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Squirrel!



Mwahaha! I think I distracted you!

One possible way of preventing or de-escalating conflicts is to distract the people involved with the potential or current conflict! This could be as simple as redirecting the flow of conversation, complimenting someone, or striking up a new conversation!

Another way of preventing or de-escalating conflict mentioned in Are We Done Fighting? is get directly involved:

Matthew Legge wrote:confront the situation directly but not so aggressively as to escalate it. This may involve a quiet but firm statement that reminds people they’re being seen and brings out their best selves. (Remember Art Gish telling the Israeli soldier, “It’s not polite to do that.”)



What are other possible ways of preventing or de-escalating conflicts?
 
pollinator
Posts: 203
Location: Nara, Japan. Zone 8-ish
126
kids dog forest garden personal care trees foraging
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Just tell them to calm down.



Just kidding! Can you imagine...

To de-escalate a conflict you are in: If you can, take a break.

Go to the bathroom, remember you have to go do that thing, your phone is ringing and it's important.

In my experience, in the time it takes you to get back, the other party may have calmed down and thought things through. Then you can resume a more constructive conversation.


Also being mindful of your own body language. Smile, lean back, avoid staring....
 
pollinator
Posts: 1981
Location: La Palma (Canary island) Zone 11
purity forest garden tiny house wofati bike solar
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
We also saw this in social therapy and Rojzman wrote a book called "how to avoid violence thanks to conflict".

Actually he disagree with the extension of the word conflict to violence.

We need places and ways to express conflict more and better and more safely! Of course, in that case, conflict just mean you disagree and oppose views. Personaly I just want my view to be seen and see the other's.

A big piece we saw to avoid escalating from conflict to violence was to be true, even already to oneself,  about our possible responsability. If there is safety to express it, it can lower the emotional level.

Then being personal enough to keep seeing we are humans!
 
When it is used for evil, then watch out! When it is used for good, then things are much nicer. Like this tiny ad:
Learn Permaculture through a little hard work
https://wheaton-labs.com/bootcamp
reply
    Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic