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Preventing or De-escalating Conflicts

 
garden master
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Squirrel!



Mwahaha! I think I distracted you!

One possible way of preventing or de-escalating conflicts is to distract the people involved with the potential or current conflict! This could be as simple as redirecting the flow of conversation, complimenting someone, or striking up a new conversation!

Another way of preventing or de-escalating conflict mentioned in Are We Done Fighting? is get directly involved:

Matthew Legge wrote:confront the situation directly but not so aggressively as to escalate it. This may involve a quiet but firm statement that reminds people they’re being seen and brings out their best selves. (Remember Art Gish telling the Israeli soldier, “It’s not polite to do that.”)



What are other possible ways of preventing or de-escalating conflicts?
 
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Just tell them to calm down.



Just kidding! Can you imagine...

To de-escalate a conflict you are in: If you can, take a break.

Go to the bathroom, remember you have to go do that thing, your phone is ringing and it's important.

In my experience, in the time it takes you to get back, the other party may have calmed down and thought things through. Then you can resume a more constructive conversation.


Also being mindful of your own body language. Smile, lean back, avoid staring....
 
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We also saw this in social therapy and Rojzman wrote a book called "how to avoid violence thanks to conflict".

Actually he disagree with the extension of the word conflict to violence.

We need places and ways to express conflict more and better and more safely! Of course, in that case, conflict just mean you disagree and oppose views. Personaly I just want my view to be seen and see the other's.

A big piece we saw to avoid escalating from conflict to violence was to be true, even already to oneself,  about our possible responsability. If there is safety to express it, it can lower the emotional level.

Then being personal enough to keep seeing we are humans!
 
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