Win a copy of Permaculture Playing Cards this week in the Permaculture forum!
  • Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
permaculture forums growies critters building homesteading energy monies kitchen purity ungarbage community wilderness fiber arts art permaculture artisans regional education skip experiences global resources the cider press projects digital market permies.com private forums all forums
this forum made possible by our volunteer staff, including ...
master stewards:
  • James Freyr
  • Nicole Alderman
  • Anne Miller
  • r ranson
  • Mike Jay Haasl
  • Dave Burton
  • Pearl Sutton
stewards:
  • paul wheaton
  • Joylynn Hardesty
  • Joseph Lofthouse
garden masters:
  • Steve Thorn
gardeners:
  • Dan Boone
  • Carla Burke
  • Kate Downham

Moral and ethical obligation to replace broken door???

 
pollinator
Posts: 2039
Location: Zone 5 Wyoming
185
kids duck forest garden chicken pig bee greening the desert homestead
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Last year on Halloween we had had our daughters first appointment with the eye surgeon and learned all about how cataracts impacts her ability to see, etc. That night, while trick or treating, she totally tripped and went head first into a door. She hit the bottom corner of it and it jammed the door shut. Took the owners a bit of work to get the door open to give the kids candy. They were worried about her, I was worried about her and the potentially broken door. So we trick or treat and as we are heading back to the car I see that they are working on the door. I got on Facebook and mentioned that daughter may have broken someone's door. Living in the small area we do several of my friends mentioned they knew and had talked to the home owner. I asked if the door needed replaced and offered to replace it. I was assured it was ok and the owner was just happy to hear my daughter was ok.

Fast forward. Daughter has eye surgery and she's learning to see. She sees much better actually. Anyway, we are out trick or treating and stop at that house. It's clearly a new door. I again express regret that she broke it. They again say it's all ok. Now I just feel guilty. Like we should pay for their door. What do you think?
 
Posts: 247
Location: Northern Puget Sound, Zone 8A
28
  • Likes 9
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
You offered, back then and again now.  The offer was declined.  You have no moral or other responsibility to pay for it.

If you can get to know the people a bit better and learn something that they really like (e.g. a particular wine, or restaurant, etc) you could get that for them as a gift.  It doesn't have to be as much as (let alone more than) the cost of the door replacement, but they'd probably accept that and would appreciate it.  However, if you never do this, you are not failing in any way.
 
master steward
Posts: 2903
Location: West Tennessee
922
cat purity trees books chicken food preservation cooking building homestead
  • Likes 8
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I agree with Andrew, you've offered twice and they've declined and have instead expressed concern for your daughter.

I think, if you want to do something to show them that you feel terrible about the door, that bringing these good people something homemade, such as a pie or casserole for example, will mean more to them than a supper at a restaurant. These seem like good hearted people, and I believe that instead of any monetary value in a bottle of wine or meal at a restaurant, while both are nice and mean well, they will instead see the thought, care, time and heart that was put into making and/or baking something to show how you feel about the door. Just my opinion
 
elle sagenev
pollinator
Posts: 2039
Location: Zone 5 Wyoming
185
kids duck forest garden chicken pig bee greening the desert homestead
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator

Andrew Mayflower wrote:You offered, back then and again now.  The offer was declined.  You have no moral or other responsibility to pay for it.

If you can get to know the people a bit better and learn something that they really like (e.g. a particular wine, or restaurant, etc) you could get that for them as a gift.  It doesn't have to be as much as (let alone more than) the cost of the door replacement, but they'd probably accept that and would appreciate it.  However, if you never do this, you are not failing in any way.



I never thought of that. I like that idea. I can certainly find out what they like. Thank you!!
 
pioneer
Posts: 1234
Location: 4b
232
dog forest garden trees bee building
  • Likes 5
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I'm not saying this has bearing, and it's just a moral issue with you, but even in court, for a parent to be liable for a child's action, negligence has to be shown.  You clearly weren't negligent, and I agree with the others.  You offered, they graciously declined.  No karmic debt is incurred.  James post is outstanding and I would apple it if I could.  Instead, I reported it for appling :)
 
I love a good mentalist. And so does this tiny ad:
Food Forest Card Game - Game Forum
https://permies.com/t/61704/Food-Forest-Card-Game-Game
  • Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
Boost this thread!