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Cat

 
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Well, a family group, including my wife and granddaughters, set out for a week at a beach at an undisclosed location on the east coast.
20 years in the Navy has left me allergic to salt water. I don't like beach side tourist traps. I don't like crowds. I stayed my big six at home sleeping in my own bed and doing my own thing. This is my vaca!
My granddaughters have this spoiled rotten, worthless, fat cat. Papa got volunteered by mimi to cat sit during the week or so they'd be gone. Oh joy!
Fat and worthless are just not descriptive enough to describe this...this...thing. If it gets down to the bottom of her food bowl, not finished, she starts in with the meowing. I can ignore meowing. She just likes to have food in her bowl.
Then she wants scratched around the head and ears. She's insatiable! She rubs her face on my feet and tries to get in my dinner plate while I'm eating. I guess she thinks I've forgotten her.
Head and neck are preferred scratch points, occasionally the belly, but watch it buster! On her back at the base of the tail she kinda likes scratched, but don't touch her back legs. She freaks! Guess how I know all this and your first guess should not be, "you were told".
When I stand up she's already up and headed for her food bowl. She gets right between my feet when I start walking. I've accidently kicked her and stepped on her just walking. Kicked is a bit strong...bumped her with my feet while taking steps is better. Is there a word for that? Can we make one up?
I'm getting my revenge! That food bowl is full, always. I scratch that cat until it can't take it no more, then I scratch her again. I'm gonna start carrying her everywhere when i get up, even to the bathroom.
Catnip! I gotta get some catnip. And treats! This cat is gonna be so bloody spoiled by the time the vacationers get back they won't be able to stand her.
This is my version of the 'give them lots of chocolate and caffeine.  Hook them up with a St Bernard puppy and send them home' grandparent babysitting strategy. I wonder if I'll be asked to cat sit again.
 
rocket scientist
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Great story Mike;
An outstanding evil nefarious plan to show those grandkids!!!
One little detail that might pop up....
By the end of the week...  you just might have grown fond of the fur ball.
And even if you don't... the spoiled fat cat might just grow fond of YOU!!!
OH NO it will follow you about wanting to be picked up and scratched... don't touch my legs though!
Before you know it it will be sleeping in bed with you...  waking you up, standing on your chest, gently whisking her whiskers  over your nose...
Ask me how I know this... (I wasn't told).
Soon "Presents" bloody rodents , birds and hopefully deceased reptiles will be waiting for your return.
Have a favorite "Dad" comfy chair???    Fat cat will be found there from now on!

Face it Mike you served our country , you made it home alive.
Now you are about to be awarded the KITTY DAD award! Think of it as the purple heart... all those scratches!
Bow your head thank the kitty gods and scratch your new Spoiled Fat Cat!
sub-buzz-3973-1560799767-4.jpg
Your future
Your future
 
Michael Dotson
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Thomas, I have taken the 'I might fall in love with it' angle into account. I'm not really a cat person and I view this cat as a weapon in my little arsenal So, it's going home and I'll be glad to see it go. I don't like animals in the house, anyway. I really wanted the cat left at their house where I could come by and feed it. That wasn't good enough. It might get lonely. (can you sense my eyes rolling)
My wife has two outside cats she feeds. She put them in our laundry room when it got really cold last winter and those things stink to high heaven. They need to be outside defending the castle against enemy mice.
Your dads story is pretty good. His cat got her own room LOL I know they grow on ya and it certainly sounds like your dad did a 180 about her. Good on him!
 
a little bird told me about this little ad:
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