Young couple in a mostly 55+ community, what questions to ask or features to look for

My partner and I are around 30 and are looking to settle down, with plans of having one or two children in the next 5 years or so. It has been difficult to find a place that fits our ideal balance of community / woods / proximity to family near a large urban center. Thankfully, we've connected with an intentional community that looks like a great fit for us in most ways - location, governance, goals.

The biggest uncertainty is that this is a 55-plus community. Specifically, part of their zoning permit means 4/5ths of the community's residential units will be owned by people 55+. It sounds like at most 4 to 6 units could be occupied by folks under 55. They are open to our interest and think we could be a good fit as one of the under-55 families on site, and we're excited to learn more and deepen the conversation.

I wonder what you intentional-community minded Permies think of this possibility - what do you suggest we consider, ask about, or look for? A big question we have is how welcome the community is/will be to children through all stages of development, but thankfully they write about themselves as welcoming of diverse populations and shared childcare.

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Some context we reflect on:

- Buying a house on our own does not mean we'll be around folks our age. It seems like the only reliable places we'd be around people our age, is if we drop our hopes of a big garden and forest in our backyard.

- Although this community is predominantly 55+, it is much closer to hubs of folks our age than most other houses we've found appealing on the market.

- Being in a close-knit ecovillage with folks of a different generation, does not preclude us from building community beyond the ecovillage just like we would build community beyond a single-family house we might otherwise live in. Our community would not be "either/or", it's more like "the usual, and in a good location with good community of a different generation".

- Our ideal would involve inter-generational living, and my partner and I both have meaningful friendships with folks of other generations, so this community of kindred spirits feels good in that sense. The concern about age is more about phase of life, like raising children with other people in that same phase. Again, this community's location probably situates us better than other options, in terms of regional proximity to like-minded people sharing our phases of life.

part of their zoning permit means 4/5ths of the community's residential units will be owned by people 55+. It sounds like at most 4 to 6 units could be occupied by folks under 55. They are open to our interest

I feel if I were looking at this community I would ask:

"Do they allow children?"

Many over 55 people I know do not want to live where children live. that is why they purchased in a %%+ community.

The ones I know love their grandkids though they can send them back to their parents.

I agree with the children question because most of the 55+ crowd probably doesn't want loud messy kids hanging around their older, quiet neighborhood. My husband and I are older and we host many young people on our farm. We also have grandchildren and quite a community of younger friends with children who visit our farm regularly. I think we are the exception to the rule when it comes to having children around, especially in community. I have also noticed that all our younger woofers tend to flock together preferring their own company of peers to company with us older folks. I have a feeling in this case you should hold onto your money and not buy into this older community even if they will allow you. Ultimately your children should be around other children and you will want to be near families like yourselves with children. That's my two cents.  Jules

Hi. I am not quite 55, but you living in my community would not bother me in the least. I think kids add a lot of fun and energy to a crowd. I would love to live somewhere where there is a diversity of ages etc. But that is just me. I hope you find the perfect fit. Peace :)

Thanks for those replies! As we're getting to know the team starting this community, we've learned that they are inter-generational minded people and a few households will include young children and grandchildren - kids of all ages (including teenagers) are explicitly welcome, or at least that's what they're stating now (buildings not yet built).

I'd also reiterate that, in this community or not, this is a location much better suited to community and being nearby other families, versus other more-remote locations that meet our criteria and budget.

I wonder if other questions come to mind aside from children? Or more specific questions around policy about children or other topics? They are still developing their policies, using sociocracy and consent-based decision making.