Healing Imagination, Healing Attitude

I always feel discouraged about the gigantic problems I see before me, compared to the small things I can do in my very limited life.

Permaculturist Ben Falk advises his readers to "Reskill and reattitude." Mollison taught things like "The yield of a system is theoretically unlimited (or only limited by the imagination and information of the designer)." Okay, yes, I love those quotes...but they basically mean I need to change my head. And guys, I really want to! But how?

I am doing more gardening work than ever before this year, and am encouraging positive changes to happen in the lives of the people I love. Currently I have a couple of fun personal projects going that I am really proud of, too. Will this kind of work heal the headspace with the bitter attitude and the damaged imagination? Or is that the kind of thing that only connecting to a community somehow can do? Or do I leave it all and become a hermit for inner peace?

It seems to me that many people are fellow struggling idealists. The beauty and wholeness we wish for is missing in our worlds, and our temperament's allergic reaction to the Bad Guys can overwhelm and psychologically cripple us at times. Does anyone have experience coming through all this to a sense of peace and productive joy while knowing what we all know about the State of Things?

You really never have freedom until you stop fearing, and so that is what I try to do now when it seems I am overwhelmed.

I have long stopped watching the news and television in general which just mines up things THEY want you to worry about and it seems in my 48 years of life, all the stuff they feared never came to fruition anyway. In grade school they said spray cans were going to kill the ozone layer, but they do not speak of that anymore and the ozone is still there, and they said the Florida would be under water by 2019, and it seems fine and not that waterlogged. So when I get anxious, I try and keep things in perspective.

What am I fearing?
Is it really a rational fear?

But to heal, I just try and stay in the moment. Sure my house needs a LOT of work, but rather than focus on what the finished project is like, I try and remember I love woodworking and home renovations, so the fun is in DOING it. The finished project that looks great, is just a bonus. A better example might be before I retired from homesteading; in that I actually preferred working on equipment rather than operating it, so when things broke, or I had to build something, there was more enjoyment in that, then actually being out there getting stuff done. Odd I know, but I am odd, and so I do not let other peoples expectations dictate my own happiness.

"…constraints can be fertile, enabling, desirable…they are catalytic forces that stimulate exciting new approaches and possibilities…they can, in fact, make us more than we were, rather than less than we could be…we should see in them beauty, rather than the beast…”

                                                                                                                                          A. Morgan & M. Barden in A Beautiful Constraint

I'm trying to get to the place where I can see this, think like this, and relate like this to my world! What would each of us do in our lives if we really could respond to each of our "limits" with a burst of creativity rather than discouragement?

Rachel Lindsay wrote:. Does anyone have experience coming through all this to a sense of peace and productive joy while knowing what we all know about the State of Things?

The state of things is beyond my realm.

I saw something recently in a movie or TV show where a person asked why someone was not still mad at another person.

The answer was simply Joy.

A feeling of great pleasure and happiness.


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It is about finding your joy or your awe moment.

This also reminds me of the threads about Awe.

https://permies.com/t/180397/Discovering-Awe-Wow-Moments

I forget where I read it, but it’s time to adopt that good idea: I'm going to start using jealousy as a tool. And as a person particularly prone to jealousy, I should be able to make this into my own ancient Roman "Swiss army knife"!

The trick is to list and analyze the things I am vainly wishing for, and find the nugget inside of that wish, then set up a scheme/routine for making it happen in my life. I am very jealous of:

people with 5 acre farms

people with strong communities and deep friendships

teachers and university professors

...and lots of other such things that aren't "things" exactly.

This list indicates that I want to do much more gardening, I'd like to get experience with livestock, befriend local farming families, and start a Classical Education homeschooling co-op. Which now sounds like a to-do list...sheesh, it's easier to be jealous and complain!

I struggle to identify with the jealousy part because I am just not a jealous person. I guess because I started with so little. Growing up in a foster home my own mother did not want me, so with the bar set so low, I really do not expect others to like me either. From there, you can only go up.

I started with nothing, but managed to get some houses, land and livestock. It just takes not taking no for an answer. You need to ask yourself, “what is the work-around?” The American way is to blame a lack of money, but I had none and got all that stuff so I know others can. There is a lot of help out there, but it takes a lot of chasing down leads to get the occasional nugget of gold. A lot of dead ends, and it’s frustrating, but knowing others will always have more, and others less; helps.

The problem is, I know what having stuff means: responsibility and property taxes. I have worried a lot over the years trying to hold it all together and now I am not sure if it is worth it. 19,000 dollars in taxes every year, almost $100,000 every five years? I could do a lot with that instead of just going to local property taxes. And being beseeched… goodness you will never know the pain of dealing with people who want my land to hunt on, gravel for their houses, or wood to cut. It’s endless when others know you have what they want.

It is nothing to be jealous of, just different. Not less headaches but ten times more. Not one roof, but 4 to worry about, and foundations, heat and lawns to mow. It is nice to have, but endless too.

I am self-made, but it comes at a price. At 48 I am tired, have worn body parts, been divorced 3 times and had cancer thrice. Because of all that I am empathetic to others, but have to remind myself that while others have had blessed lives, when small things in my mind happen, it is still BIG to them.