Seeking like minded individuals for small IL community

My name is Annmarie and I am so glad I found this site. I feel like I have finally found “my people” so to speak. I’m a 40 year old single mom seeking a few like minded people to create a small off grid, homesteading community.

I currently live in the Chicagoland suburbs and am yearning to relocate somewhere where I can have more land, grow my own food, live off grid, homestead and live a more nature based life.

Further south is preferable as it offers a longer growing season, but I’d like to stay within driving distance to the Chicagoland area, unless some amazing opportunity presented itself elsewhere. I spent a good portion of my childhood living in Arizona and camping in Northern AZ and the California mountains, so getting back there might be something I’d be willing to relocate further for.

As I mentioned above, I am a single mom and I know there is a better life out there for myself and my children. We currently live in an expensive suburb and I feel like a slave to my house. I only work to pay for it. This isn’t how life should be. I’m tired of being the electric company’s bitch lol. I feel like I’m trying to “make it” in a world that wasn’t set up for someone like me.

I saw a video a while back that said “you think it’s strange that I have to light a fire to make tea, but I think it’s strange that you go to work for someone else for 40 hours every week so that you don’t have to light a fire to make tea” and it really resonated with me. I’m trading precious hours of my life, time i should be spending with my children or creating a better life for us- for heat when I know how to light a fire. What a joke.

The past several years have been a stressful balancing act of how I can afford to stay in the home I’m currently in and care for my children full time and I am so tired of the struggle.

I’m a naturally happy and positive person and I love being out in nature, growing our own food, creating beautiful landscapes and gardens, and living off of what Mother Nature provides.

My favorite books as a kid were the little house on the prairie books, maybe I always thought I could really be Laura Ingalls Wilder. It just seems to make more sense.

I feel the society I am currently a part of doesn’t hold the same values I do and it makes me sad to know that my kids are growing up this way, around fake people, eating fake food and falling into all the trappings of materialism.

I’d like to opt out of the system so to speak.

I’m not a full blown “prepper” but I’m certainly teetering on the edge. I believe covid was the start of all our systems (healthcare, education, 40 hour work week, etc. crumbling) and I actually think this is a good thing because they weren’t sustainable anyway.

In other news, I heard the other day that for every human to continue living as we are now, we need 1.6 planet earths. Problem is we are .6 earths short. I don’t know much about environmental issues, but I feel a deep connection to our earth and would like to learn more about how I can live more responsibly.

I have a very entrepreneurial spirit and have started several small businesses and “side hustles” that have came through for me in times of financial hardship. I have lots of ideas on how to generate income using my natural talents and any future land that I might have access to.

As you can imagine, being a single mom on a tight budget, I’m also very resourceful. I’d rather hunt on Facebook marketplace or Craigslist for a free or used item than go buy it new. I’m easy going and easy to get along with, but sort of introverted so won’t be intruding on your space too much for company. I believe I have high emotional intelligence and am able to handle whatever life throws at me with a good attitude.

I have a green thumb and know how to do a lot, but I’m coachable and open to learning new things or how to do things better. I’m smart, have great creative ideas and I can build stuff -kind of, I’m still a beginner but I enjoy the challenge 😃 It’s my dream to build my own home someday and to help others build theirs. Would love to know a carpenter who I could learn more from and would also love to learn more about canning, fermentation and storing food from someone with experience. I love animals and can care for and raise them, but I can’t butcher them myself. I can certainly cook them and eat them though.

I am a hard worker and can spend 10 hours building new garden beds without flinching, but I like the idea of having someone else around. Being totally out on my own is probably what has been holding me back so far. I like the idea of having a small community of likeminded neighbors with different skill sets so we can help each other out as needed. I think community- real community- is what is missing these days. Here in the suburbs, I hardly know my neighbors. They pull into their garages in the evening, close the door and go inside. It’s a lonely life.

I’m my imagination, in 5 years time I’ll be living on some acreage in southern IL/southern Indiana/eastern Missouri/northern Kentucky, etc. in an off grid earthship style or other naturally built home with about 5 or 6 other families who each have their own off grid homes nearby. I obviously don’t have all the logistics worked out just yet, figured finding like minded people should come first.

A few other things- I am not a drinker or partier, but I am 420 friendly. I’m very artistic and creative. I love music and working outside with my hands. I’m usually in bed early and am up early the next day. I don’t align with any political party and I don’t get riled up over current events, in fact, I don’t even consume news media and I don’t watch tv. My entertainment is usually a good history documentary or YT video about off grid living, natural building methods or permaculture.

I am spiritual, not religious and I practice transcendental meditation daily. I believe that joy is the key to living a good life. I’m also super duper down to earth, I promise.

If you’re interested in chatting more about this idea or anything I mentioned, or if you already have or know of a community that might be a good fit for me, please shoot me a message.

Are you aware of the website www.ic.org?  It's the premier website for intentional communities wordwide, and it's searchable both by location and keyword.  Chances are there are already people doing what you're envisioning somewhere within visiting distance, and I highly recommend doing exactly that.  I've spent much of my adult life in community settings on land, with anywhere from 4 to 30 people.  It is it's own unique dynamic, and it's definitely not for everyone.  The learning curve coming from mainstream culture can sometimes be steep, and it requires a set of "people skills" that are getting uncommon in our fragmented and individualized culture.  I could say way more but it's already been said better, and there's no replacement for checking it out for yourself.  If you are at all intuitive or aware, even a week's visit should be sufficient for you to determine if it's a fit.  If it doesn't feel right just try a few more, communities can differ quite dramatically from one another.    There are also more informal ways to create life together, starting with renting out rooms in an existing house....One popular way is the wwoof organization but that is basically pointed toward short term people wanting experience with farm life....the farm owner gets free labor while the volunteers get the experience and education and (usually) room and board.   Of course having kids complicates all of these possibilities and will narrow your options somewhat.   But it's an ideal worth having and pursuing.  

I’ve been thinking of something similar. How old are your kids? How many?

Ann Marie,
I read your post with great interest and enthusiasm.  I completely understand the desire to “opt out” of the system.  I am a retired kindergarten teacher with three grown children.  I too am searching for a simpler way of life.

I’m interested in and have experience eco building techniques like earthbag, Cobb, adobe, but would be willing to learn/try anything.  Originally, I intended to buy land in Costa Rica and build there.  I have family in Peoria IL, and Louisville KY - so anywhere near would suit me.  Being a native of San Diego, I could be tempted to explore options in desert SW (NM or AZ).

I’m not young, but I have the mental and physical capacity that I’ve always had…,

If you haven’t already…. Read Henry David Thoreau’s “Walden”!
It is EXACTLY the sentiment you share.

Whatever happens, I wish you peace and happiness!
Respectfully,
Mr. Kelly Willis

Hey! Life moves pretty fast and I am actually moving onto property in a few weeks with someone I met here. My vision has shifted somewhat and we are just planning a small homestead at this point.

And yes I will definitely check out that book!

Hello Ann,

Further south does indeed offer some of the advantages you mentioned--especially a longer growing season.  And further from Chicago definitely makes finding the acreage you are looking for easier.

I suppose I have to question how you define "driving distance" to Chicago.  If you travel to Southern Illinois, you might be able to hit the jackpot in the terms you defined as desirable--longer growing season, more acreage at an affordable price and the ability to homestead.  I know several people who live this type of existence who live not far from me.

However, all of this rests on what you find as an acceptable living distance from Chicago.  My home, near Carbondale, Illinois, is about 5 hours and 37 minutes from Chicago--I know that precise time because when my wife and I were dating, I was living in Carbondale, working as a teacher and she was a medical student in Chicago.  I would visit her on average of every two weekends.  I left school on Fridays at 3:00 just as the bells were ringing and beat students out the door.  I arrived at 8:37.  If this an acceptable driving time, then Southern Illinois might be worth a thought.

However, my experience is that people who have lived in the Chicago area for most of their lives are unprepared for just how far south Illinois stretches and can't quite comprehend the distance involved until that distance has been driven.  For instance, I have hear of Carbondale referred to as "being down South by Champaign."  Champaign is distinctly in Central Illinois (I grew up near there) and the two cities are nowhere near being close to one another.  I have also heard people from Chicago refer to Illinois State University in Normal (Bloomington-Normal) as being in "Southern Illinois" despite being located in the northern 2/3 of the state.

Ann, I am not saying that you necessarily have these views and I am not trying to be condescending.  I think that Southern Illinois has a lot to offer for you, but the definition of Southern Illinois might not be what is expected for you.  And again, I am not certain what constitutes "driving distance."  Obviously, I did it, but it was a haul (but I was motivated!).  Southern Illinois is extremely hilly and has a national forest--750,000 acres!  The land is beautiful--don't expect flat plains.  The land is certainly cheap compared to what you would expect in the Chicago area and homesteading is somewhat common.  It may be worth consideration.



Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck.  Take or leave whatever you wish from this post and make the best decision that fits your ambitions, drams and goals.


Good luck again!!

Eric

Ann Marie Bess wrote:

My name is Annmarie and I am so glad I found this site. I feel like I have finally found “my people” so to speak. I’m a 40 year old single mom seeking a few like minded people to create a small off grid, homesteading community.

I currently live in the Chicagoland suburbs and am yearning to relocate somewhere where I can have more land, grow my own food, live off grid, homestead and live a more nature based life.

Further south is preferable as it offers a longer growing season, but I’d like to stay within driving distance to the Chicagoland area, unless some amazing opportunity presented itself elsewhere. I spent a good portion of my childhood living in Arizona and camping in Northern AZ and the California mountains, so getting back there might be something I’d be willing to relocate further for.

As I mentioned above, I am a single mom and I know there is a better life out there for myself and my children. We currently live in an expensive suburb and I feel like a slave to my house. I only work to pay for it. This isn’t how life should be. I’m tired of being the electric company’s bitch lol. I feel like I’m trying to “make it” in a world that wasn’t set up for someone like me.

I saw a video a while back that said “you think it’s strange that I have to light a fire to make tea, but I think it’s strange that you go to work for someone else for 40 hours every week so that you don’t have to light a fire to make tea” and it really resonated with me. I’m trading precious hours of my life, time i should be spending with my children or creating a better life for us- for heat when I know how to light a fire. What a joke.

The past several years have been a stressful balancing act of how I can afford to stay in the home I’m currently in and care for my children full time and I am so tired of the struggle.

I’m a naturally happy and positive person and I love being out in nature, growing our own food, creating beautiful landscapes and gardens, and living off of what Mother Nature provides.

My favorite books as a kid were the little house on the prairie books, maybe I always thought I could really be Laura Ingalls Wilder. It just seems to make more sense.

I feel the society I am currently a part of doesn’t hold the same values I do and it makes me sad to know that my kids are growing up this way, around fake people, eating fake food and falling into all the trappings of materialism.

I’d like to opt out of the system so to speak.

I’m not a full blown “prepper” but I’m certainly teetering on the edge. I believe covid was the start of all our systems (healthcare, education, 40 hour work week, etc. crumbling) and I actually think this is a good thing because they weren’t sustainable anyway.

In other news, I heard the other day that for every human to continue living as we are now, we need 1.6 planet earths. Problem is we are .6 earths short. I don’t know much about environmental issues, but I feel a deep connection to our earth and would like to learn more about how I can live more responsibly.

I have a very entrepreneurial spirit and have started several small businesses and “side hustles” that have came through for me in times of financial hardship. I have lots of ideas on how to generate income using my natural talents and any future land that I might have access to.

As you can imagine, being a single mom on a tight budget, I’m also very resourceful. I’d rather hunt on Facebook marketplace or Craigslist for a free or used item than go buy it new. I’m easy going and easy to get along with, but sort of introverted so won’t be intruding on your space too much for company. I believe I have high emotional intelligence and am able to handle whatever life throws at me with a good attitude.

I have a green thumb and know how to do a lot, but I’m coachable and open to learning new things or how to do things better. I’m smart, have great creative ideas and I can build stuff -kind of, I’m still a beginner but I enjoy the challenge 😃 It’s my dream to build my own home someday and to help others build theirs. Would love to know a carpenter who I could learn more from and would also love to learn more about canning, fermentation and storing food from someone with experience. I love animals and can care for and raise them, but I can’t butcher them myself. I can certainly cook them and eat them though.

I am a hard worker and can spend 10 hours building new garden beds without flinching, but I like the idea of having someone else around. Being totally out on my own is probably what has been holding me back so far. I like the idea of having a small community of likeminded neighbors with different skill sets so we can help each other out as needed. I think community- real community- is what is missing these days. Here in the suburbs, I hardly know my neighbors. They pull into their garages in the evening, close the door and go inside. It’s a lonely life.

I’m my imagination, in 5 years time I’ll be living on some acreage in southern IL/southern Indiana/eastern Missouri/northern Kentucky, etc. in an off grid earthship style or other naturally built home with about 5 or 6 other families who each have their own off grid homes nearby. I obviously don’t have all the logistics worked out just yet, figured finding like minded people should come first.

A few other things- I am not a drinker or partier, but I am 420 friendly. I’m very artistic and creative. I love music and working outside with my hands. I’m usually in bed early and am up early the next day. I don’t align with any political party and I don’t get riled up over current events, in fact, I don’t even consume news media and I don’t watch tv. My entertainment is usually a good history documentary or YT video about off grid living, natural building methods or permaculture.

I am spiritual, not religious and I practice transcendental meditation daily. I believe that joy is the key to living a good life. I’m also super duper down to earth, I promise.

If you’re interested in chatting more about this idea or anything I mentioned, or if you already have or know of a community that might be a good fit for me, please shoot me a message.

Hi Ann

Now in August 2025 I've read your emotional message with big interest, I wonder did you find same minded folks and projects, practiced any sustainable methods?

I'm very interested in your results because I'm also looking for conscious minded people, I'm from Kazakhstan 45yo, practiced there permaculture, but last 7 months in US IL rat racing as you said.

Would be happy for any information, conversation about permaculture projects, groups, land searching tips  for homesteading in Illinois

Best wishes
Askar
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