I absolutely think that ignoring manufacturing costs as externalities is a fault in this sort of difficult calculus, so good on you for trying to weigh that into things! However, some elements of your companion's argument give me pause. Particularly:
Trace Chiodo wrote:plastic breaks down to micro plastics in 400 years, which aren't known to harm us.
Since the environment is chock-a-block with microplastics already, and plastic hasn't been manufactured for 400 years, it's hard to imagine where that figure comes from. That's enough for me to strongly doubt the rest of what they've told you, but let's look at the second half of that claim.
My impression is that there is a monumental amount of research in the pipeline on the harms of micro/nanoplastic residue and that essentially everyone involved expects to find a vast swathe of harms to humans and all of the greater ecology. See
https://www.sciencenews.org/article/microplastics-human-bodies-health-risks and
https://sustainability.yale.edu/explainers/yale-experts-explain-microplastics for instance.
But we do already know some of the direct human harms --
https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.adl2746:
science.org wrote:Ingestion can lead to physical harm, such as food dilution, gastrointestinal blockage, or internal abrasion (65, 66), and chemical harm as a result of the leaching of toxic additives or adsorbed pollutants, including endocrine disrupting chemicals, from the microplastics (67, 68). The absorption of the smallest particles by the body can lead to toxicity triggered upon translocation (69), for which the surface area of the microplastic is considered the toxicologically relevant dose metric (70). Effects vary widely according to the organism and the type and quantity of microplastics ingested, but end points with direct ecological relevance, including reduced growth, survival, and reproduction, have all been demonstrated in laboratory experiments.
I like to bring my own containers when I'm going to take away left-overs. And I vastly prefer cardboard or the exotic biostarch containers to plastic. And if I have to take plastic, I really, really want it to fit in with stuff I've taken home before so that I can wash it and nest it with my current collection and keep using it until it's too damaged for continued reuse.