This is absolutely one of those things that can only be learned by doing. My cob experience to date involves building two cob ovens and one
RMH, so no load bearing walls or other critical structures, but I can say that even that small amount of experience is
enough to start getting a good handle on what works.
Erica Wisner has a post in the PEX/PEP1 forum on the Cob
thread there that addresses some of this. Her husband Ernie trained at Cob Cottage Co., one of the foremost cob education groups in the country. In her post she cites his observation that there is a constant process of adjusting the mix when making cob, as the materials are just not uniform.
Considering the large amounts of cob involved in doing even a modest sized structure, there is lots of opportunity to figure out the "right" feel and how to get the mix to that point.
It is more frustrating when reading about it than when actually doing it