New here from Central Portugal via Ireland/Canada

Hello just found this forum again after many years mostly offline. Its great to hear all the expetiences and knowledge. My little farm is close to Nazare & Alcobaca in the central coast. I came here for various reasons, hoping for some insight to a next phase in life I am about to embark on. Not sure if is the correct place to write my thoughts but it is introductions so, why not.

About 12 or so years ago I  left Canada and started travelling looking for a new direction  after a real roller coaster 20 years of successes and few but major negative events. It was a journey of rediscovery and stretched a few continents. Many stories along the way. Born in Canada with Irish parents drew me eventually to Ireland, the rain pushed me to Portugal. Being an Irish citizen I could live most places in the EU easily seemed like the best place to look for somewhere to look for property.

In Portugal there seemed like really good opportunities for property. Travelling around for a year or so I was guided by the universe to an area in the center close to Nazare & Alcobaca. I was told by all the Portuguese friends told me not to buy it the area was no good now everyone from there went to the Algarve. So of course I bought a piece of land anyway a couple of acres. The next year they surfed the biggest wave in the world! That was very cool and the sleepy fishing town of Nazare awoke again.

My parents were both wanting to retire somewhere close to Ireland but warm so we agreed upon using thst land and buying a few adjacent lots to build a place for them. This was a long game plan and for a few years we just stayed on the property with rvs or tents, going back and forth from the 3 countries. My parents had not moved there yet they just visited twice a year for a few weeks at a time. I on the other hand would stay there almost permanantly from about 2014. We did alot of hand work clearing brush and brought machines when we could get them to do the harder work. Was a lot of fun great commradery especially with my Dad and I.
There were 4 different camp spots that we used and very distinct memories of progress with little cash outlay just physical work with good intention.

Well in 2016 my Mom got cancer and died very fast about 6 months. We decided to keep going with the property and my Dad moved here for most of each year, mainly Canada winters until the pandemic, then it was full time. Right before the pandemic we decided to leave Portugal because the property prices have skyrocketed. Good time to cash out and we were going to move to East coast Canada and start going USA south for the winters, start a new journey so to speak. Well the pandemic really messed with us because both not vaccinated. Early 2022 we decided to stay in Portugal. My Dad got sick in the spring and sadly passed on in October.

This is a real hard time in my head about whether I stay at the farm or sell. Reading the posts helps me understand the levels of dedication, reasoning and circumstances others have and it helps. I want to thank everyone who posts on this forum its a great thing.

Im going to make some posts when i figure out where to put them. My place is fully offgrid rustic and privat but not far from town. I capture water for everything but drinking. Using solar offset by a generator. Water is gravity fed from a tank on the roof. Had a few gardens for veggies but my area is abundant and cheap so its actually only a dog donkey chicken farm that is a work in progress.

This year was a bad one but there have been many great times here. If anyone has advice, interest, introspection, comment or anything helpful about why I should stay or go it would be great to hear. Im not moving fast but descions need to be made. I have almost 0 bills per month total is around 100 euros. So lifeis pretty good just feels empty and directionless at the moment, so obviously searching for inspiration.

And on another note I am here by myself no family here and friends are more like aquantinces and cafe talk. No real solid group id call close. I have had people over the years for volunteering but the purpose at those times were focused.

I hope i didnt longwind it too much but thought better than hi love the site.

Larry your story is so interesting ! I have lived in a hole in the world for my life, but I like the area. And I haven't travelled extensively, as you have. I am sorry to hear about your parents. The cycle of life is hard to accept sometimes. I hope you find your "tribe". And I hope in the finding, it brings you immeasurable joy.

Hello Larry, welcome to Permies.
I'm sorry you've experienced such loss recently. I think it's a good thing that you're not doing anything quickly; it is sometimes a mistake to take a decision too quickly after a bereavement. Life is different and you need to find the new difference once the pain has eased and then see if a move is appropriate. In other words, move on because you have a new thing to move towards, not because the current situation is not stimulating (for want of a better word).
It sounds like you need a new challenge in your life, only you can work out what will give you real satisfaction, although maybe others can give you suggestions how to find it out. I'll add this thread to the "Personal challenges" forum too, that might get more people helping.

Hi Amy & Nancy ,
Thank you for the kind words. I explained only in brief but the story is long and the road winding. I still think the journey has just begun believing another chapter is at hand but the wounds on this are fresh and deep so at the momment its just putting the pieces of this puzzle back in place the best possible way.

Reading posts on this site have been tremedously helpful not for what most would think. Technically i am a survivalist, i always said if i had to live in a ditch that would be the best ditch ever, with all you need, just because of dedication,creativity, passion and perseverance.

The experiences past and present by others is reassuring, the feeling of being alone is sometimes furthest from my mind but once in a while it jumps to the front. It is good to hear others perspectives and challenges. To me that is different because through my life I have been solitary for many reasons mostly being a boss in most occupations i have endeavored, that makes you deal with most of the hardships alone. The introvert post caught my eye and a few others that people posting are very similar situations and then that lonely leaves as i see its not just me doing life differently not just waving a sign yelling in crowds about mehthe guubimnt.
To succeed you have to do, level of success is not relevant to me. Small victories towards the larger triumph, which to me is a happy and fullfilling existance.

I think I was right in saying that you need a new challenge. It sounds like you have been used to continually striving, and that now you are not sure what you want to strive towards. Only you can answer that question.
I found a couple of threads on dealing with grief:
https://permies.com/t/168447/Year-Loss-Learning-Grieve-Taught
https://permies.com/t/96179/Stress-Anxiety-Grief-Manifestations (this one is a bit long, but may have some pointers for you about looking after your health as well)
Everyone deals with it in different ways.
This thread is about finding meaning in life, which is related to finding challenges:
https://permies.com/t/161399/Doubting-humanity-purpose

I would give yourself a little time to look around you and see what would satisfy that need to push yourself. Whether it is personal (learning something new, starting a family, finding religion) or more external (building something physical, creating social networks, travelling the world, writing a book...). Don't jump into the first thing that appeals though, wait until you've had a few ideas and then go for the one that you can't stop thinking about even if it seems really outlandish.
I do hope this helps, and wish you well.

Hey Nancy yes it does help, thanks!
In the past I always was the one to start things first and others would join along seeing the potential yet afraid of the risk first leap so to speak. Id do that to relieve the stress of intial failures make it all seem small so we could get to the big hurdles together. Always thinking of the group not the individual me. To me try a 100 succeed on a few but to never try is not in my nature. For some its not the same they need to see the first to get to the second.

Starting a Family is definately high on the list as thats why we were going back to North America I have more oppurtunities there for more than just a significant other. This one will be a slow process, im not perfect but have alot to offer so talking and such will be the begining but waiting too long is not my plan.

Starting something new building wise is easy here, lots to do. At the momment I am just tidying up after a brutal summer heat waves dead plants everywhete and well you know already, basically since early March it has been wild, the stories i will tell in time.

Social network is funny been off facebook since 2007ish thinking about joining again to reconnect with things and people, i am not a fan, my Dad had it and when he passed I tried to get on his profile to let people know and get his contacts but couldnt, even using his picture id it wouldnt accept the shots i took. If despise facebook is a strong wording i am looking for the above that version. Joining social media is basically an out but we will see, its definately not inclusive as they promoted at first.

I reading about where to post things here and have a few ideas like a "should i join facebook?"  Or my workaway profile  which I am using to find people to assist for the time and maybe longstay.
workaway profile

Travelling the world is out for now unless I can ride my Donkey & bring the dogs

Hi, Larry.

I'm not an expert, so take my words as opinion from my own experiences.
It sounds like you are in the middle of an existential crisis. It is a process. Your life has changed and suddenly what was ok for you a few years back works no longer. It's not the solitude, it's the feeling of being lost.
A similar thing hit me three years ago, but it was less dramatic in my case. The good thing is that you will recover by yourself, no matter what we say to you, be it helpful or not.

I think this is a two steps process. First is the mourning for your loss. Not only your beloved, you have also lost a driver for your energies. Part of your vital challenges was helping your parents, you had plans for them, projects that had your mind occupied with and now they are no longer. We people have trouble saying goodbye to part of our souls. In an objective sense, you know what has happened, and you know that you need to do something different now, but in an subjective sense your mind is still dealing with it. It's hard to stop old habits, and you'll find yourself doing things apparently without sense, like the woman who keeps filling the feeder of a deceased pet. Since some of your energies are still dedicated to old habits, you cannot fully focus on your new life, sometimes taking contradictory actions.
A proper mourning might help to recover faster.

The second step is finding yourself again. Last year you were the person you needed to be, but now that the necessity has changed you have freedom (within reason) to be whatever you want. When we are young, we try something and if we dislike it we try a different thing. But now time is premium, we don't want to make mistakes and lose our time. Luckly, you know by now a thing or two about yourself. Or do you? A little bit of introspection might give you better insights into what is really what you want for your life.
For example, you could be thinking that a simple life is good for you, but inside you could be burning for a thriving life in a successful business. We all need to make a life, but ideally we would do it in a way that makes us happy. We feel happy when the actions we are making forward on the path we have chosen. We feel unhappy when we are not progressing into our desired objectives for life, no matter how hard we work. Happiness is a state of your mind, joy is an emotion of your body, do not mistake them.

For both steps, having some emotional support is helpful. Family and friends, people who really listen to what you have to say, help bearing the burden. Spiritual practices help taking control of your emotions. They are to be find in religion, paganism and the occult. Since I'm not a church person, in my case occult sciences did the trick for spiritual practices.

Hope it helps.

Larry Miranda wrote:Hey Nancy yes it does help, thanks!

I'm so glad.

Travelling the world is out for now unless I can ride my Donkey & bring the dogs

Well... it would certainly be an adventure!

What a beautiful place and great location! I traveled all over the country last July. If you talk to the gardeners down in the algarve, they shake their heads and tell you how dry it is, and poor the soil. I’m looking at moving to the center of the country myself. Seems to be the best climate and location to me. I hope I can find some place like yours!
I’m hoping to get back over there and see the big waves before the season is over.

John Chisolm wrote:What a beautiful place and great location! I traveled all over the country last July. If you talk to the gardeners down in the algarve, they shake their heads and tell you how dry it is, and poor the soil. I’m looking at moving to the center of the country myself. Seems to be the best climate and location to me. I hope I can find some place like yours!
I’m hoping to get back over there and see the big waves before the season is over.

Hi John I travelled the whole country and i agree the center is the best. This area is very special and tgere are big waves up to April, some of the march storms have brought some huge swells. If you need info let me know, happy to help. Im pretty good at knowing the sweet spots. Love going for drives down the less teavelked routes