Has anyone else thought about how gardening might be the best dating filter that nobody's using?

Forget personality quizzes and curated photos. Show me someone who gets excited about their soil amendment schedule. Someone who shows up on a rainy Saturday anyway because the beds need turning. That person already has the values I care about most.

I keep daydreaming about something like a Tinder for gardeners. Not even necessarily a dating app, just something that matches people who want to grow food with people who have land to offer, and then lets whatever happens happen naturally. Shared mornings outside, shared harvests, shared purpose... that's already a better foundation than anything I've found on Hinge.

Has anyone actually met someone meaningful this way? Or felt like that kind of connection is just... missing from how we meet people now?

Tinder for gardeners, wasn't that WWOOF? Joke. Although i had a friend that used it that way.
Maybe people should just meet up more and get a real life vibe instead of scrolling for looks.

Hugo Morvan wrote:Tinder for gardeners, wasn't that WWOOF? Joke. Although i had a friend that used it that way.
Maybe people should just meet up more and get a real life vibe instead of scrolling for looks.

Yeah exactly! WWOOF is probably the closest thing we have.

But I was thinking of something much more local and low commitment. Instead of traveling to volunteer on a farm, you just meet someone nearby to garden together for a few hours each week.

Maybe you just grow vegetables, maybe you make a friend, maybe it turns into something more. The gardening comes first, and the connection grows naturally from there.

Hugo Morvan wrote:......
Maybe people should just meet up more and get a real life vibe instead of scrolling for looks.

The English Victorian author Thomas Hardy beat you to it:

"They spoke very little of their mutual feelings; pretty phrases and warm expressions being probably unnecessary between such tried friends. Theirs was that substantial affection which arises (if any arises at all) when the two who are thrown together begin first by knowing the rougher sides of each other's character, and not the best till further on, the romance growing up in the interstices of a mass of hard prosaic reality. This good-fellowship — camaraderie — usually occurring through similarity of pursuits, is unfortunately seldom superadded to love between the sexes, because men and women associate, not in their labours, but in their pleasures merely. Where, however, happy circumstance permits its development, the compounded feeling proves itself to be the only love which is strong as death — that love which many waters cannot quench, nor the floods drown, beside which the passion usually called by the name is evanescent as steam."  -- Far from the Madding Crowd (1874)

My husband and I bonded this way long before we were in a relationship! I at the time had a old Victorian house with a bunch of extra rooms so I rented out the rooms to friends. He would come out and help me with the gardens and was happy to learn despite having no experience. He had worked a office job for years before this and really loved the way moving and being outside made him feel. He then started to learn to cook and never hesitated to grab a shovel to build a pond or huglemound. It wasnt a quick way to find a partner, but a slow growing build of trust and respect over 6 years. We are now married as of this Saturday. I think its a much more organic way of developing relationships.

Congratulations Sam - and I wish you both many happy returns of the day!

"...gardening might be the best dating filter ..."

I think it's one good filter, at least for compatible interests and values. To some extent, what you do is what you believe, and showing what you've done with your own hands is a no BS statement. This may weed out princes and princesses who look good but are short on practical wisdom or the gumption to get their hands dirty.

Careful, though. A few years ago I walked through a community garden in a mountain town. A couple of the (young, female) community organizers were there so I asked a few good questions, told a story or two, and one of them started showing an obvious interest. I had to high-tail it out of there right away. I'm a married man!

Wish you were more my age! (low 50's)  CUTE and very smart.

I assume you are referring to the OP?

Women generally consider me more "handy" than "handsome," though when I get to strumming the old guitar and they have a few drinks it's about 50/50.  

Douglas Alpenstock wrote:....This may weed out princes and princesses who look good but are short on practical wisdom or the gumption to get their hands dirty.

No place more relevant than these situations for the phrase "talk is cheap".  Conversely, it can be quite revealing to view another's melt-downs or tantrums when the flies are getting bad and the mud is getting deep.  I've mentioned before how, earlier in our years together, my wife could be glued to the 'royal wedding' of Will and Kate during a break at the laptop.....forgetting that she still had her pig mucking boots on in the house!  Such a fascinating juxtaposition of circumstances! lol...... Main point was that my wife never was one to shy away from the dirty work.

[quote=Agustin Podesta]Forget personality quizzes and curated photos. Show me someone who gets excited about their soil amendment schedule. Someone who shows up on a rainy Saturday anyway because the beds need turning. That person already has the values I care about most.

I keep daydreaming about something like a Tinder for gardeners. Not even necessarily a dating app, just something that matches people who want to grow food with people who have land to offer, and then lets whatever happens happen naturally. Shared mornings outside, shared harvests, shared purpose... that's already a better foundation than anything I've found on Hinge.

Has anyone actually met someone meaningful this way? Or felt like that kind of connection is just... missing from how we meet people now?[/quote]


It has been such a good filter I get zero interest  or interactions  on normal dating apps that are dead anyway.    Just too many young women on them that dont want to do any work  and get their hands dirty, break a fake nail...  you get the idea.

I dont thing a online dating/gardening site would work. There's to much unspoken expectations that dont allow for a genuine connection to form naturally. Id suggest looking into what your local area has to offer for clubs and groups. I live in the middle of nowhere Iowa, But we have a garden club to work on the local city plots, community garden the town over, Trap and target shooting every Monday at the conservation club, and of course the local FFA suppers every month. Not all of these are garden related but they are places like minded people are more likely to be found in the "wild". People who do or want to get there hands dirty to make something. And of course its going to be awkward and slow going until you make a space for yourself in that group. But its worth it just for the company of doing stuff with others. It worked for my now husband, it did take 6 years. But I think we have been blessed with one of the healthiest relationships Iv seen.

I've been utilizing this filter for years now. If someone isn't prioritizing the garden then I have minimal to no interest.

It goes deeper than just liking gardening tho. I'm a feral gardener and not into competition, routines, schedules, high maintenence veggies, plastic use, irrigation, etc.

Took me a while to evolve into a skeptical, stubborn, aging, low income, experimental, single man and I'm not willing to sell any of that short for human bonding!

Really tho, I'm constantly learning and changing on a soul seeking adventure deeply intertwined with my style of gardening and it's a bit much to involve anyone else unless somehow they align very closely...which seems rare and close to impossible.

At most in certain cases it seems, the people that are very similar already have their place going and their ways, and are just as stubborn about letting it go or leaving it as I am!

Worked great for me.. I used a dating site, and married the first person who led with interest in my garden. The fact that she was also gardening surely helped. The 10k kilometres between said gardens didnt end up being a significant problem.