August Angst

I feel like I go through this every August. It's hot, the garden is a total disaster, and I should be planting my fall/winter crops. On top of it all I'm a little burnt out. Don't get me wrong, I love my garden, and pretty much always find peace and joy there, but when it looks the way it does there's a bit of frustration and anxiety too. One time around this time of year ( a few years ago) I was looking at my garden with disgust, and my daughter comes up and says she loves the way my garden looks. I was so surprised and asked why? She said it looks wild and kinda natural. I try to remember that. I guess nature is also trying to reassure me as well because as I write this post there's a little bird eating the lettuce seeds I meant to harvest weeks ago. A few minutes ago a hummingbird was enjoying all my flowers.

I live in N California zone 9B, so there's lots of hot/warm weather left, and I can grow year round. Decisions need to be made, and work needs to be done, and here I sit, watching the birds, and whining to you. I've gotten great and sound advice from the wonderful people of permies before, make a list, do small jobs each day... I just don't seem to be able to get my act together lately. I wander around, do this thing here, that thing there, so I'm working, but in a way that doesn't feel like I have accomplished anything. Today is the perfect example. It's cooler today then It's been for months, it's my day off, I finally finished the nesting boxes I made for the chickens. I should have gotten so much done. Instead I do a little and wander back into the house and read for a while, then I come back out do a little, and go back inside. I have pretty much waisted the best day of the summer. I'm so annoyed with myself!
I better try to accomplish something before the mosquito drive me inside. thanks for listening,. I hope you don't have August Angst, and if you do I wish you luck and The gumption to push your way through it.

Some days are just like that.

Yeah the August garden is genuinely grim isn't it. Everything looks half dead or completely out of control, and you're supposed to be excited about planting autumn crops. I find the bit where you just accept it looks terrible and do it anyway is usually when things turn around.

Hi Jen,
Very recognisable!  We call it "garden fatigue"

I'm wondering myself what to do about it... I'm thinking about the following:
- put "doing nothing" and "enjoying the garden" on my to do list, so I can cross at least that off and feel good about myself.
- be more realistic about what to expect from myself.
- make a "Done-list" in stead of "to do"
- learn to love the beauty of decay in the fall.

Of course I am already doing a lot better than previous years. We keep on learning...
What I think is very effective for me:
- When it is one of those days, accept it and at least try to enjoy it.
- Going to the entry of my garden and look at it all. Than I think: what looks bad? what can I do to make this place instantly look/feel better? It is never everything. Usually there is only one single branch that should be pruned, because it sweeps in my face. Of course the hole tree needs pruning, but that single branch makes everything better, so just cut that one right now. The whole border needs deadheading or a cleanup, but just cutting the sadest brown part of one death plant might be enough, or just that plant that is flipping over the path.
- In August and september I harvest a lot and if I have time left, I might think it is FUN to do this or that, and I end up doing something that was not urgent, maybe not even necessary but just made me happy doing it.
-Take a (short) vacation from the hard work in the garden. (Especially if you can grow year round)

Yesterday I cut death branches out of a nearly death conifer hedge. Maybe it would be better to remove it completely, and I probably do that in the spring, but after a full season of extreme pruning, I can't put myself to take the chainsaw again. I just enjoyed doing it and I have to admit, a green hedge with holes in it make me happier than a hedge with a lot of brown areas.

I wish you feel better tomorrow!