paul wheaton

paul wheaton wrote:

William Bronson wrote:I find this exchange  odd.

I find it delicious.  

I think burra has been on these forums for damn near ten years.   Her history with other forums is similar to mine, and her dedication to directing to a certain flavor is exactly the same as mine.   Which is why I put her in charge.  

Eric brought up free speech.  Which is almost universally a sign that that person is about to pop.  You don't see it because you haven't been moderating these forums for many years - especially the darker days.   Burra's response is a magnificently beautiful response to save Eric from a dark path.  Or, more accurately, to save any casual reader from heading down a dark path.  

Burra does this not because she has been trained in the art of moderation ninja stuff.   But because she has seen thousands of conversations go sour from simple things.  Thousand of people from before have shaped her to be this way.  What the years have told is that the very best moderation comes from two huge ingredients:

  - precedent (often obtained by deleting a bunch of stuff that didn't meet our standards)

  - gentle nudging at the earliest signs

What you are witnessing is the mighty mother tree performing the "gentle nudge".  For you it might seem a bit irritating, but for me, it is magnificent art.  

Burra has now done it so much, it's as easy as breathing for her.  Well done Burra.

A series of bits and bobs led me to this post from seven years ago.   I forgot about the moderation art of the early, gentle nudge.  Which is kinda what this whole thread is about:  a small nuance within the english language.  

On that note, i think my phrasing has shifted a little to "it turns out that my position is different than yours."  First it sorta casts a qualifier on the other statement of "that is your position, even though you may have presented it as absolute, indisputable fact."  It also has a bit of "well, this is awkward.  I wish to always agree with you, and here i am about to stumble into something else. "  I think it smells of a bit of an upgrade over "I have a different position."

Devaka and Ron are working on it.  They found some stuff and are making changes.  They are also trying to go through the yahoo stuff to fix things.  

But ....    yahoo email has been pretty bad for years.   I think that yahoo is probably blocking a lot of important emails.

The next date for incoming boots is october 4 - so a week of the bootcamp  before we do rockety stuff

https://wheaton-labs.com/bootcamp/

It sounds like there will be ten people in the bootcamp during this week.  

This morning the boots talked about possible projects.   The key is that the more people we have here, the bigger the project.  

For smaller projects:

 - upgrades to the FPH RMH
        - pull out the mass, new ducts and new supports for the mass
        - pebble leak in one corner
        - removable cob hat with oven feature

  - upgrades to the bun warmer

  - upgrade the finish layer in the tipi (if the tipi is open)

Stephen thinks we should build a hypocaust.

A full rocket mass heater could go in the yoga yurt.

Other ideas?

electricity installed



now to finish the nearer hugelkultur

fukuoka flat now has electricity!

stephen says there are 8 kittens and 6 nipples

I grok a lot of what you're saying here

Woven into a single word is "I read that book too!"

what kind of woman you DO envision when you think about a person who could be appealing and a well suited partner to you. Who is she?

Mostly what I have shared is physical attributes.  I go to the good food store and think: nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope,  .....    The result of this is put a lot more into "I think it is time for me to be solo."  This result is achieved without having to torture these nice people with my philosophies or opinions.

I remember when I was in high school, a beautiful girl sat me down and asked me what my "type" was.  I wasn't able to say much of anything before some rude teacher interrupted and pointed out that this discussion is not what school is for.  :)   Later, I remember thinking "I am poverty boy.  I don't get to date, so therefore having a type is pointless."  I honestly didn't have a type.  

I would have to say:  kind.  With my old age I have discovered that most people interpret "kind" as "always perfectly obedient."  So I suppose I would have to qualify "kind" with "whatever feels kind to me.  Which probably doesn't have any of that obedient stuff in it."   I guess I am all done with folks being mean to me.  Usually in an attempt to get something from me.  And it isn't just me - I have seen a lot of couples being mean.  Or "friends".  Most of the relationships that i put solidly in the "fail" column were ones where i walked away because of this sort of darkness.  I don't want to play the "mean" game.  I would rather withdraw.

Another:  into this flavor of permaculture stuff.  Either a full life that is something that fits well with what i am doing here, or a full life of helping me move all this forward.  

Do you monopolize conversations, even if unintentionally?

Yes.

I was asked to attend a birthday party with a bunch of people I don't know.  They have never heard of permaculture, so I am nobody.  I made it a point to sit in the distant corner with a goal of being nobody.  Apparently, I ruined the party.  About 40 people.  They were supposed to shout "happy birthday!" when the birthday girl arrived ("girl" is probably not the right word here, as she was turning 80 on this day).  Instead, everybody was piled into one corner of the room listening to some obnoxious guy in the corner wearing overalls.  

Even at permaculture events i try to sit in a corner.  Even at my own place i try to sit in the corner.  My arrogance and my thing about monopolizing conversations is just too much for most people.  So if I hold still, the people that seem to be cool with it come closer and the people where it is too much go to the other end of the room.  

I suppose a healthy person would say "if you are so irritating, wouldn't it be better to stop doing that?"   In the words of the great philosopher Popeye "I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam."  My solution has been to keep my irritating self away from those that would find me irritating.  

Which is exactly why i choose to not date.  I suspect that this "monopolize conversations" thing would be torture on a date.  I don't want to torture nice people.

I could easily move forward into another job in an office chair under fluorescent lights, but I'm damn tired of it.

While still going to that same job with the same chair and the same lights, I became a bit obsessed with permaculture.  And created this site.  My permaculture obsession made it a challenge to get the full 40 hours a week in.  Permies.com is now 21 years old.  

I just feel it in my bones that I can conduct massive change for the better.  I thought by now i would be 1000x further along.  And I just can't seem to stop.  But I cannot imagine returning to a desk job.

We have not met in person but you have had a big presence in my life.

Cool!

Allan Nation (Stockman Grass Farmer) used to imply that there was a limit to how much weird and non-mainstream a farmer's neighbors could endure. He'd say 'You can be a Buddist. You can be a nudist. But you can't be a Buddhist nudist'.  

Excellent point!

To embrace Allan's point and to find a way for the crudist, buddist nudists ...  live at the end of the road and choose to not engage with the neighbors.  

The more vivid and bonkers a person's life is, the more it seems the likely pool for partnering inversely narrows.

Exactly.