Get a roommate - PEA BB community.sand.getroommate

[Edited: Previously posted my evidence for the roomate for 8 months BB here. Updating this with a bit of a conversation starter that might boost the thread].

I have lived with roomates in the past, but my longest-lasting roomate has been my spouse.

We have now lived together for over 10 years (as posted over in the BB for evidencing having a roomate for at least 8 months: permies.com/wiki/168514/roommate-months-PEA-BB-community#1375537).

Based on my experiences, what I find interesting about the roomate/spouse comparison is that although marriage is more intense than any roomate relationship, I have been far more nervous moving in with a roomate or flatmate than with a partner. In roomate situations, you may be moving in with someone you don't know at all. You may not know their values, or even whether or not they're trustworthy. 'Screening' or agreeing with a stranger or acquaintance might take place as a transaction of some sort, while these forms of getting to know one another generally happen casually over time in chosen partnerships.

What I've found important for all sorts of living situations, however, is to make sure you agree on clear boundaries for things like: respecting along time/spaces and agreeing social locations and perhaps times; sharing belongings and food; noise levels; acceptable levels of mess; and other things that affect your ability to feel safe, happy, and connected.

I'd also suggest agreeing on management or maintenance tasks, like who and when to cover specific chores and financial tasks (in my teens and 20s, it was often a discussion of who was buying toilet paper next! This hasn't changed in marriage, but at least this time it's all from the same bank account!), and how regularly you will review the arrangements.

Does anyone else have any key learning for what works well when getting a roomate?

Going to college lets you meet a lot of people. Some of those people you might end up getting romantically involved with. Her family was living in Alabama and we went to school in New York. The end of our Bachelors arrived and I had just gotten my hands on a piece of property. She wanted to stay up here and I needed help paying bills and getting the house livable. We were dating and moved in together splitting the bills. It was a bit of a learning curve in splitting up the house chores, and understanding what each person decided was doing the job 'right', but we managed! We got a dog and time started moving fast... we will be married this upcoming October