paul wheaton wrote:I would like to think that one house might be the big house of toddlers. And another house might be the big house of teenagers. And another house is the big house of rambunctious adults. And another house is the big house of quiet/contemplative adults.
I take this to mean, families with toddlers in one home, families with teens in another, etc., and the following statements are specific to that idea.
I can see where this has appeal, especially if you are one of the quiet/contemplative adults looking for quiet. I admit that I do not have any experience in living in community or any other qualifying experience, but I'd like to share my thoughts on your statement. Also, I found this post via a site search of "damanhur", so many apologies if this has been addressed and dissected elsewhere as
I have not done any digging in the intentional community forum.
I am a parent of a toddler, who is isolated from what family is left. While I benefit from having friends with children, I do not want to live in a house of toddler families. My experience has shown me the pain and disruption when you loose mixed environments. Children in mixed age groups benefit from the guidance of older children and benefit from being the guide to younger children. I don't want 10 pairs of stressed out toddler parents, I want a few peer sets with children of varying age, maybe a few non-breeders (Les/Gay/Trans), I want a three generation-like spread minimum. I want to be empowered to parent while blessed with personal/project time with the help of my housemates in the form of sharing time with my child (who is awesome, I have references to attest to it, so it should be a pleasure and not a burden, in fact it would be a deal breaker if my child was seen as something to be tolerated until able to handle a scythe).
What I think I'd look for:
*Children of mixed ages; see above
*teens and young adults have so much energy, I'll take a few, they also need the experience of a mixed environment to learn life skills, etc
*peer adults offer much in a 'shared experience' way and the ability to get the work done
*mature adults offer life experience, guidance, emotional support, and a love of small children with gooey fingers; hopefully they have stories and skills to share with the rest of us
*adults who are unlikely, unwilling, or not able to produce children of their own often enjoy the occasional interaction with a child, I welcome a well rested adult sharing joyful time with my child, I'll take a dozen
I think in traditional societies we'll find the care of the young and care of the old are the heart of the society.
I can see when age based groups or experience based groups might form for events, bonding, or what have you, I just don't want to be assigned based on that. I also see a conflict: I'm old/young enough to have a children between newborn and 18yrs old, if I have a 2yr old and a 15yr old, where do I live or do my children get separated?
We all need quiet space, so I'm absolutely down with quiet space being available and honored!
Just my $.02.