Overcoming social anxiety, and getting out there

Ive been noticing lately, how many cool opportunities im missing out on, simply because of social anxiety. Ive tried a lot of things, and nothing has really removed that feeling, that people are dangerous. My whole life Ive always felt behind enemy lines when around new people, and that makes it damn near impossible to do cool things, like meet people, people that like the same things. Its made making friends extremely difficult, and dating impossible lol.
Ive tried changing my diet, ive tried exercise, ive tried anxiety meds....Im not sure if its some kind of trauma thing that cant be gotten rid of, I did deal with a bit of violence in my childhood.

Id like to hear success stories, or just advice from people out there, in the same situation.

I've had help with generalized anxiety from a fully licensed psychiatrist in cognitive behavioural therapy. It worked very well for me, but mine is uncomplicated. ( I'm in Canada so it was free)

Having both friends in the US and ones where both diagnoses and access are difficult, I asked if the workbook we used can be used on its own. While they feel guided use is best, you can do the work yourself. It might help. Here's the Amazon book link

Dian Green wrote:I've had help with generalized anxiety from a fully licensed psychiatrist in cognitive behavioural therapy. It worked very well for me, but mine is uncomplicated. ( I'm in Canada so it was free)

Having both friends in the US and ones where both diagnoses and access are difficult, I asked if the workbook we used can be used on its own. While they feel guided use is best, you can do the work yourself. It might help. Here's the Amazon book link

I dont see therapy happening, im too cheap and also too stubborn..

I will however look and see if I can find this book on thriftbooks.
Thank you much.

I am an introvert, but I have learned to 'pool' up enough sanity to do extrovert activities.

It is a balancing act of giving yourself time to chill and then time to push yourself out there. I tend to before an event try to talk myself out of it but I go and find out I had a lovely time.

I do enjoy people, I think it just comes to my own nervousness of what others might think of me. The reality of it is whatever I do is just a footnote in the life of another person. People tend to be self obsessed! This drops quite a bit of anxiety for me.

I'm lucky to have a Partner who meshes well with me and knows how much and how to push me out of my comfort zone. I'm the same with her.

ALSO, I take a very common and widely used anxiety med to take off the 'edge' of my anxiety with great success. It took a lot of pill shopping for me to find the right one. It is a frustratingly process but can be rewarding. I'm a lot more bitter/angry without it. I'd be the classic angry old man shaking his fist for kids walking on his lawn without it haha.

"I will however look and see if I can find this book on thriftbooks."

You can also download the PDF & text versions free on Scribd. You'd have to sign up for a free trial, but it sounds like cancelling's easy enough - and you'd have a whole month.

https://www.scribd.com/document/661326783/Brain-Based-Therapy-for-Anxiety-Workbook-for-Clinicians-Clients-John-B-Arden-PhD-Z-Library

Timothy Norton wrote:I am an introvert, but I have learned to 'pool' up enough sanity to do extrovert activities.

It is a balancing act of giving yourself time to chill and then time to push yourself out there. I tend to before an event try to talk myself out of it but I go and find out I had a lovely time.

I do enjoy people, I think it just comes to my own nervousness of what others might think of me. The reality of it is whatever I do is just a footnote in the life of another person. People tend to be self obsessed! This drops quite a bit of anxiety for me.

I'm lucky to have a Partner who meshes well with me and knows how much and how to push me out of my comfort zone. I'm the same with her.

ALSO, I take a very common and widely used anxiety med to take off the 'edge' of my anxiety with great success. It took a lot of pill shopping for me to find the right one. It is a frustratingly process but can be rewarding. I'm a lot more bitter/angry without it. I'd be the classic angry old man shaking his fist for kids walking on his lawn without it haha.

Im still learning, for sure.
You are right about most people not really paying much attention, we worry for nothing...
Im still single, and I know that really makes me less sociable, and more easily overwhelmed.
I may need some of that drug, because im 25 and nearly that angry old man lol! I think its more psychological than biological, I do appreciate the thought though.

Donner MacRae wrote:"I will however look and see if I can find this book on thriftbooks."

You can also download the PDF & text versions free on Scribd. You'd have to sign up for a free trial, but it sounds like cancelling's easy enough - and you'd have a whole month.

https://www.scribd.com/document/661326783/Brain-Based-Therapy-for-Anxiety-Workbook-for-Clinicians-Clients-John-B-Arden-PhD-Z-Library

I hadnt heard of that, thank you.

My two social anxiety tactics are breathwork and CBD.
A breath exercise for calming works like this: just lengthen your exhale. Feel how long a normal inhale lasts, and consciously make the exhale last a bit longer (not at all to the point of strain.) The heart naturally slows down while you exhale, so this exercise helps bring calm. Practice at home and then you can do it any time, nobody has to know  

Matt Todd wrote:My two social anxiety tactics are breathwork and CBD.
A breath exercise for calming works like this: just lengthen your exhale. Feel how long a normal inhale lasts, and consciously make the exhale last a bit longer (not at all to the point of strain.) The heart naturally slows down while you exhale, so this exercise helps bring calm. Practice at home and then you can do it any time, nobody has to know  

I've also found cbd helps, although not too much. I've taken over 100mg at a time and not had much more affect than small dosing.
I'll try the breathing thing. Thanks