Many dream it, few actually do it

Hello @ll,

I’ve been thinking about something lately.

In cities, I meet plenty of people who say they dream about living in the countryside, going off-grid, growing food, restoring old places, and building a simpler, more grounded life. It sounds like half the world wants chickens, fruit trees, solar panels, and a view of the mountains. But when the moment comes to actually do it... to deal with mud, cold mornings, broken tools, uncertainty, physical work, and the long patience that this kind of life requires... the crowd suddenly gets a lot smaller.

Sometimes I feel a bit alone here in Europe, because I know there must be more people who truly want this life, not just the postcard version, but the real one: muddy boots, sore hands, fixing things, learning by failing, and still going to bed deeply satisfied. For me, this is not fantasy. I’m building a real off-grid regenerative project in the Pyrenees, restoring land and an old stone building, and trying to create something honest, useful, and alive. Not perfect. Not Instagram. Real.

So I thought I’d say hello again, in case there are others here who also believe that a meaningful life is built more with hands than with hashtags. If you’re one of those people, someone who doesn’t mind getting your hands in the mud to build something beautiful over time ... I’d be glad to hear from you.

Maybe there are more of us than it seems.

Roble

I see tge same thing.  I have folks come to my place and say "you're living the dream "... but most of them have no idea if the amount of work it is to sustain an off grid property and home for 20 years..and most wouldn't want to when they really got into it for a period of time.
You have to love it or it becomes a chore.  For me personally, it's part of my spiritual journey and I don't think I could go back to the "modern " way.  
The deep satisfaction I get being in touch with the elements that sustain me, is satisfaction enough.

 Enjoy the ride..

Hello,

What counts as 'actually doing it' ? I settled halfway.
I still retain a paid job, while slowly morphing a sizable suburban property into a green oasis. It is already paid for, and though I will certainly never completely live off it, lots of smaller creatures already do.

Quitting and terraforming another place is a huge investment, and I do not have the resources nor the spoons to do it. But it is possible to skew a lot of places in the good direction, and one small thing after another it might succeed one day. Live within your means as others said, and glowworms and chirping birds for all.

- Well it's time to awake that ol' grub hoe shall we ? -

Take care,
Oliver

Roble Andamos wrote:Hello @ll,

I’ve been thinking about something lately.

In cities, I meet plenty of people who say they dream about living in the countryside, going off-grid, growing food, restoring old places, and building a simpler, more grounded life. It sounds like half the world wants chickens, fruit trees, solar panels, and a view of the mountains. But when the moment comes to actually do it... to deal with mud, cold mornings, broken tools, uncertainty, physical work, and the long patience that this kind of life requires... the crowd suddenly gets a lot smaller.

Sometimes I feel a bit alone here in Europe, because I know there must be more people who truly want this life, not just the postcard version, but the real one: muddy boots, sore hands, fixing things, learning by failing, and still going to bed deeply satisfied. For me, this is not fantasy. I’m building a real off-grid regenerative project in the Pyrenees, restoring land and an old stone building, and trying to create something honest, useful, and alive. Not perfect. Not Instagram. Real.

So I thought I’d say hello again, in case there are others here who also believe that a meaningful life is built more with hands than with hashtags. If you’re one of those people, someone who doesn’t mind getting your hands in the mud to build something beautiful over time ... I’d be glad to hear from you.

Maybe there are more of us than it seems.

Roble

Hi Roble I am doing more or less the same as you in the Mayenne in France, seems to be no one in my area, on here, anyway if you would like a chat contact me. Paul

Hi, for a long time I've been looking to do something like that.

Take the transformation of a piece of land as a personal challenge, see how good you can make it. As the land comes to life the rewards are many, we have witnessed this on our farm when we restored native prairie in 1993. This land has become an oasis for wildlife and for me personally, a go to place. Now it is part of a larger project in that we will be using this as part of a study on our soils. How quickly and completely can native vegetation bring back the soil vitality. In 32 years the restored prairie equals or exceeds the native prairie we have here in terms of soil health.

Prior to the prairie restoration the land was being farmed conventionally and a fair portion classified as highly erodible.

Hi @ll!

I also keep my paid job. That is what pays all the bills, and even then there is never enough money for everything that needs investing. Doing things by hand, making use of everything, as permaculture teaches us, is a relief in itself and also brings real joy when you start seeing the results. At the same time, I have already made big changes in how I live. I left my rented home and this year I am living temporarily in a caravan. I am also converting a van so I can move that caravan to my land in the Pyrenees and use it there as a guest space. Meanwhile, near Madrid, I am working on the recovery of another property that was in very poor condition inside a regional park with lagoons.

My goals this year are ambitious. In Madrid, I want to recover soil cover, fence the land with all the permits in place (in a regional park means a thousand bureaucratic steps) and begin stabilizing a slope by planting trees and shrubs. I would love to restore the well with a solar panel and set a shipping container there for storage, but for now that is secondary. In the Pyrenees, I have already started clearing the land and requesting permits for everything. That is my real life project: home, garden, silviculture, bees, small livestock, and activities for visitors and the local community. Nothing much, as we say with a smile. I have calculated that the Pyrenees project will probably take me around eight years.

So when I say “doing it seriously,” I do not mean being fully off-grid tomorrow or making money from the land right away. I mean making decisions that truly change the way you live and the results you create. I am happy cleaning the Madrid land, and my whole face changes when I sleep on the Pyrenees one.

Permies.com is also allowing me now to interact with other people whom I consider just as normal as I am. Because there is really nothing extraordinary about following this path once you have truly discovered it. For me, nothing is more rewarding than this great change. I joined this site because I would love to find a woman who truly wants a new and simple life to share, but that will come when it comes. I am completely sure of that. What I do know, and part of why I wrote my post, is that many people say they want this life, others admire what you do, and surely some criticize it or dismiss it behind your back. But if you are doing it in an authentic way, then you are the one who really gives it value, and you are the one who truly gets to enjoy it.

All the best,

Hi, I live near Carcassonne and already semi rural, but want to live off grid one day but lack the courage as I’m a single woman.
Could we chat? I would love to see what you have started to learn how you have achieved this.
Michelle

Mwatson431@gmail.com
😁

Ha ha ha… really? New here today and already pushing email contact? That’s a bit too obvious. We may be single, but we’re not that simple.

Juan Roble wrote:We may be single, but we’re not that simple.

You may not even have intended this man, but I love this utilization of the royal "we".

My apologies. I do make an effort to sound polite, even when my brain is clearly running in a different language.

Juan Roble wrote:My apologies. I do make an effort to sound polite, even when my brain is clearly running in a different language.

I can remember when there were no bots or catfish on the web, and a email was always a real person 😉

Been off grid for about 4 years ( the electrical grid )

Now putting focus on leaving the food grid.        

Took about 12 years to learn solar,  install the system myself, and to finally disconnect from the electrical grid.

Leaving the grid is much harder for some than others much depends on what you started with, and what motivates you.

There was a series on the history channel called "alone"..      It was something to see the contrast of what people said about what they would do, then getting out in the wild and being around bears, and tough conditions that showed what they were really made of...        

Building community can help ease the transition, and learning from others who have already completed the task can be most helpful.

I was invited to this web site for those heading "off the grid",   thought I would share here.

Cheers,

https://theoffgridnation.com

We have a 2 year plan to move to a more off grid friendly place. In the mean time we are practicing our skills in all the things we can on our half acer. I feel like its a big jump to make to go from the standard way of living to suddenly living the dream. Maybe more people don't make the jump because they decided to do it all at once instead of working with what they have where they are.

Also your place IS instagram worthy! I love seeing other real homes being represented on social media. It helps a lot of us further back in the journey see that not everything is going to be perfect right away. Thats a huge hurdle I deal with personally and feel holds us back sometimes. My kitchen isn't ALWAYS clean yes because we are actively preserving 100lbs of apples and have the kiddo helping and pets needing to go in and out in the rain.

It's actually hard to start from the bare earth. Take a look at most people, and it's all about selling the vision, and not actively homesteading yet. As a man, I'd like to have a woman to build this life together from the very beginning. It feels like right now, I'm selling a lifestyle on a futures market. Most women would feel more comfortable if the place is already up and running. It feels like they're waiting at the finish line and picking a winner.

Well, I had better get back to work!

Lachlan Mor wrote:It's actually hard to start from the bare earth. Take a look at most people, and it's all about selling the vision, and not actively homesteading yet. As a man, I'd like to have a woman to build this life together from the very beginning. It feels like right now, I'm selling a lifestyle on a futures market. Most women would feel more comfortable if the place is already up and running. It feels like they're waiting at the finish line and picking a winner.

Well, I had better get back to work!

Hi Lachlan
I have to agree, from a number of personal experiences over the last couple of years, I do think there are braver woman who are out there and willing to work at the hard tasks involved in working from the ground up, but they are very rare and most seem to still think it’s our job to prepare everything, as you say, do not think it is their fault as that is how they are brainwashed into that type of thinking where as in many countries, away from the west, they do much of the hard work on the land in all its different aspects, I feel we should work with the talents we have and ideally a partner can complement you, with a combined effort that help you both achieve your own goals as well as the combined goals. On the other hand it just maybe us, and it has nothing to do with the way we perceive things to be, I know some people find me a little scary because I am a little out there for many.

Paul Wells wrote:

Hi Lachlan
I have to agree, from a number of personal experiences over the last couple of years, I do think there are braver woman who are out there and willing to work at the hard tasks involved in working from the ground up, but they are very rare and most seem to still think it’s our job to prepare everything, as you say, do not think it is their fault as that is how they are brainwashed into that type of thinking where as in many countries, away from the west, they do much of the hard work on the land in all its different aspects, I feel we should work with the talents we have and ideally a partner can complement you, with a combined effort that help you both achieve your own goals as well as the combined goals. On the other hand it just maybe us, and it has nothing to do with the way we perceive things to be, I know some people find me a little scary because I am a little out there for many.

As men, I feel our role is to be a visionary and builder. Some women are pretty cool and can do this, but there's so much talk of devine masculine and feminine lately. There's so many factors to modern life and society that it appears the hurdle is a very high jump to line everything up just right so we can all let our guards down, embrace one another, and live our best lives *together*.

[quote=Lachlan Mor

As men, I feel our role is to be a visionary and builder. Some women are pretty cool and can do this, but there's so much talk of devine masculine and feminine lately. There's so many factors to modern life and society that it appears the hurdle is a very high jump to line everything up just right so we can all let our guards down, embrace one another, and live our best lives *together*.

I agree wholeheartedly with your statement above, it is all used to keep us divided, been getting worse for years, we live in the most connected time in history, but are completely disconnected, in the main, from nature and the true nature of being alive, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Well I’m sorry that you see it that way, although I don’t understand completely what you are saying, all I was doing was reaching out with a hope to see what you’ve done and pick up some tips and get some advice. Wasn’t looking for anything else.

Michelle Chemille wrote:Well I’m sorry that you see it that way, although I don’t understand completely what you are saying, all I was doing was reaching out with a hope to see what you’ve done and pick up some tips and get some advice. Wasn’t looking for anything else.

Hi Michelle

There are so many, on the internet who are fake and the first thing they do is send you their email, so I get the reaction from the men as I have very recently had that happen to me. I am sorry but mistrust is sown everywhere to keep us at each other, not helping each other grow, as I believe the world is meant to be. Hi

On the topic of women not wanting to see the vision and work to get it done I feel you! Thou it might be where you are looking for a partner that might be effecting your search. Iv had the same problem but with men! Until the last few years its been men who want to do the bare minimum at there day job, ignore the kids and sit on there arses playing video games all day while talking big about the life we will have "someday". Just cause you brought home half the money doesn't mean your end of the bargain is done! Meanwhile I'm building chicken coop 3.0, figuring out how to butcher the 500lb pigs they brought home on a whim that Iv been caring for the last year. While working over time, caring for the kids and making 3 meals a day at home. These "men" all advertised and posed as the perfect outdoor hardworking country man until they got comfy... maybe I babied them to much XD  

All this to say I treasure my beloved man all the more after going thru all the bad partners before. Truly not all men are like that and nor are all woman. You just have to shovel alot of shit to grow a great garden that attracts the people you want and love!

Sam Potter wrote:Until the last few years its been men who want to do the bare minimum at there day job, ignore the kids and sit on there arses playing video games all day while talking big about the life we will have "someday". Just cause you brought home half the money doesn't mean your end of the bargain is done!

yeah, but that's easily avoidable right? a guy like that exists in a sphere completely different than here, or in a homesteading sense. that guy is already locked into the matrix. Is it that common it even needs to be mentioned? is it as common as women who seek makeup, expensive cars, long fake nails, and huge homes with insane mortgages?

Paul Wells wrote:

Lachlan Mor wrote:It's actually hard to start from the bare earth. Take a look at most people, and it's all about selling the vision, and not actively homesteading yet. As a man, I'd like to have a woman to build this life together from the very beginning. It feels like right now, I'm selling a lifestyle on a futures market. Most women would feel more comfortable if the place is already up and running. It feels like they're waiting at the finish line and picking a winner.

Well, I had better get back to work!

Hi Lachlan
I have to agree, from a number of personal experiences over the last couple of years, I do think there are braver woman who are out there and willing to work at the hard tasks involved in working from the ground up, but they are very rare and most seem to still think it’s our job to prepare everything, as you say, do not think it is their fault as that is how they are brainwashed into that type of thinking where as in many countries, away from the west, they do much of the hard work on the land in all its different aspects, I feel we should work with the talents we have and ideally a partner can complement you, with a combined effort that help you both achieve your own goals as well as the combined goals. On the other hand it just maybe us, and it has nothing to do with the way we perceive things to be, I know some people find me a little scary because I am a little out there for many.

Unfortunately I think you are both correct, and often those of us who want to build from the ground up get stuck with the wrong guy (I had a partner for 10 years whose parents had a farm, we looked after it regularly... but in the end he really just wanted to sit on his ass and feel sorry for himself... and I am now a single parent and only half the resources I might have had by now if he hadn't been such a deadbeat..)

all I want now is to grow oats, potatoes, chickens and rabbits, and build an earthship with someone while living in a THOW... is that too much to ask?!

I feel like everything is grabbing at our time and energy (AKA spoons) between advertisements demanding we spend money for this cool gadget to media and social expectations on top of our jobs and family life its to easy to end up in survival mode and forget to make progress towards something so big like a homestead every day. Let alone finding a spouse that also shares the same journey as you! And yes its just as common for women to have a hard time finding a man who isn't addicted to the modern luxuries as it is for men looking for woman. It just takes a few try's to find the signs and avoid them in the future! sometimes alot of signs....

Doing all the work to build a homestead is very doable as a single person but easier to do as a team. Before my Husband I depended on my friends for help with big projects. In return they got a share of the harvest. We still do this and have a grand harvesting party for the potatoes and as the weather gets nice we all get together and make big batches of cat and dog food together and canning parties. My homesteading life is not sustainable without support from others. And it feels like more and more people dont have the spoons towards helping each other even if it helps them. Maybe that's why most people just dream it instead of doing it.

I agree to some extent. I’ve talked to a couple people during the last few years that mentioned that they would love to startup a homestead, and live a simpler life (of course, in the way of societal demands – not physically). However, none of them have yet made any substantial movement towards actually obtaining that lifestyle. Instead, they declare a specific life situation to be an unpassable obstacle that prevents them from living their desired life (e.g. having a family, being single, career, etc.). Though, I do understand some situations create clear obstacle (e.g. medical conditions, etc.), and I’m sympathetic to their situation. However, there are a few other categories of people, that would like to start a homestead but don’t currently have one. The first are the individuals that say they would like to, but it’s similar to if you asked them if they would like to live on a private island with good resources. It sounds wonderful, and they would like to, but it’s just a nice concept – not something they would really attempt. In my opinion, these people don’t really count as ever really wanting a homestead… Even though they said they would like to live on a homestead. The other group, myself included, have made significant progress to starting a homestead. Though, are currently unable due to land acquisition issues. For example, over the last year I’ve purchase more than $12k (USD) worth of homesteading equipment (i.e. incinerating toilet, solar system, propane generator, power tools, etc.) and put together a written design of the house, garden and livestock space layouts. However, I’ve been unable to find a landowner willing to owner finance a homestead suitable piece of land here in Virginia. Well, what about buying an already build homestead that someone is selling. That would be great. I recently got pre-approved for a home loan, and sent them a property that I was interested in pursuing (400sqft tiny house, wooded 5 acres, septic system, well water) … Just for them to inform me that the VA (Veterans Affairs) home loan wouldn’t allow me to purchase that property because there’s a rule that states the land value can’t be higher than the house value. Meaning, I’ll have to search for a property that has a tiny house and a very small plot of land under $15K… Which in the north half of Virginia is about less than an acre. Or purchase a lager house and decent size land and be house broke for the next 30 years. If possible, I would move out of Virginia to acquire land or a homestead. But that isn’t currently an option as I have visitation days here in Virginia with my son from a previous marriage. So, I’m part of the group that says, “I would love to start and live on a homestead” – but from someone else’s prospective, I have no homestead started. This brings up the perfect time to mention, if anyone reading this has a suitable piece of land here in Virginia for sale and is willing to owner finance… Please let me know – I’m interested.