M Wilcox wrote:So, I have this situation in my house. I enjoy working. I work outside and sometimes I work inside fixing things or building things or creating space for things or sewing for money, etc.
On the other hand, my partner does not like to work. My partner likes to sit on the sofa and write in her journal or cruise the internet.
. But she says it is not okay to treat her like a housewife.
I prefer the term homemaker but it seems to me that when one partner does the lion's share of the work and the other partner just benefits from that work without actually doing any work themselves, there's a distinct lack of balance.
My friend, it sounds like you guys have already had "The Argument" and resentment is starting to set in. That is how marriages fail. Sometimes, just because we are "living the situation", we may feel like we are doing everything and the partner is coasting and benefitting without contributing. You may be absolutely correct or, as resentment has set in, you may looking at the situation the only way you can, which is through YOUR lenses. It is hard, but try to see if that is what is happening or if you are falling out of love
. IMHO, you are ripe for a little marriage counseling, which I would not presume to do from here.
All I can offer are a few pointers, depending if the love is still there. [If it is not, the marriage counseling won't do a thing for the two of you.]
Your partner seems to have a better relationship with the internet
, which can be terribly addictive, and she is neglecting you and the homestead. As the arguments increase, she will come to realize as you have that something has to give. Is she in a position to call it quits, or would she limp through, but resentfully?
Your partner does not want to be a "housewife" but it sounds like she is failing to be a valuable partner as well,
and that will cause love to falter eventually, I will assume that discussions are getting tense on the topic of sharing chores. Do you feel that you still have anything in common? Was this homestead *your* dream, and she acquiesced because she loved you? Or was it her dream as well but she is discouraged somehow? and if she is, why?
Ask yourself: What is your financial situation? Any kids in the mix? If the worst happens and you have to call it quits, do you have a "golden parachute" of sorts? [A way to extricate yourself without causing too much harm to your finances or worse, to the children?]
Divorce is very painful for both partners but also for the children. I wish I could be more helpful, but I really think
that the two of you may soon need professional help.
The "sharing of chores" arguments may just be a symptom of greater trouble.