'negotiation'.....what does it mean to you?

Can we discuss what we mean by the term 'negotiation'?

I have a feeling there are many views depending on circumstances, needs, fears and prejudices.

Maybe some views of 'how to' best negotiate are universal?
How do you think world wide negotiations on a political scale compare to how one would negotiate with a spouse or child?

Here's one definition.....
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negotiation

"Negotiation is a dialogue between two or more parties to resolve points of difference, gain an advantage for an individual or collective, or craft outcomes to satisfy various interests.
The parties aspire to agree on matters of mutual interest.[1]

The agreement can be beneficial for all or some of the parties involved.

The negotiators should establish their own needs and wants while also seeking to understand the wants and needs of others involved to increase their chances of closing deals, avoiding conflicts, forming relationships with other parties, or maximizing mutual gains.[1]

Distributive negotiations, or compromises, are conducted by putting forward a position and making concessions to achieve an agreement.

The degree to which the negotiating parties trust each other to implement the negotiated solution is a major factor in determining the success of a negotiation."

In 1997 I was working as a help desk manager and the enterprise sent us all to a two-day management training that was primarily focused on negotiation. It has informed my view of negotiation ever since.

The world is made incrementally better every time a negotiation happens where all parties leave satisfied. The most likely way to achieve that is for everyone to lay all their cards on the table -- openly sharing information, goals, and priorities and then to look for an outcome that satisfies the preferences of as many people as possible. This approach does sometimes mean I don't get the absolutely best outcome for me, but a rising tide lifts all boats. I wish everyone felt about negotiation the way I do.

I must admit this made me think of the Calvin and Hobbes comic where calvin says "A good compromise leaves everyone mad", haha. In other words, it probably wasn't a negotiation if you get everything you want.

I think the definitions listed are pretty accurate. And if both people are willing to work on things, I think Christopher's example works well. Lay it out on the table and find middle ground.

Unfortunately in the real world, it is getting less and less common for people to want to negotiate in good faith. At that point, you end up with some kind of tie breaker. Either someone gives in... or someone with more authority or more power or greater value forces things to go in a certain direction. And at that point, I think it ceases to be a negotiation.

I'm a union rep at work. A lot of what I do in that role involves negotiation of some sort.

I would argue that I have become pretty good at it, and had some substantial wins as a result, largely because I approach matters in a very reasonable way. Try to understand what both sides want to achieve, and cut the emotion out of the situation. It also helps to be really really well prepared.

If you can't justify to yourself that what you are asking for is reasonable then you won't be able to convince anyone else either. Conversely, if the otherside is being unreasonable than shining light on that goes a long way to strengthening your position.

I'd also add that big wins follow more easily after smaller ones. In a long term relationship (friends, spouse, family, employer etc...) you have many opportunities to practice the process of negotiation so that both sides get comfortable with how it works. Then when bigger issues come up that need Negotiation (with a big N) you have been through the dance before.

any more thoughts?

Here's a related link
https://permies.com/t/120955/Methods-Conflict-Resolution#973672

You have to have a hard no limit. A, this is the least I will accept or most I will give mindset. Being able to say no is important too.

We had a formal negotiation meeting at work this week between the union and the employer, discussing staff pay award for the coming year. This is the first of the meetings under the new framework we have in place.

What I really liked was how amicable and open the exchange was. Both parties are prepared to disagree of content/terms offered... but we have a really clear framework for the process, the framework covers what types of matter are and are not scope for this negotiation, and ultimately there is a dispute resolution system built into it.

There were lots of meta-discussions prior to the agreement being signed - working out some of the structural stuff about who is involved, what will be discussed when, etc... and some more of that in the first meeting as well. Our first agenda item was to discuss an edge case - does this particular issue fall within the remit of this meeting?

It was a genuinely uplifting meeting to be in despite the content being fairly challenging from a business perspective. But both sides had committed to it in spirit not just in token form, so it really worked.