Thank you for sharing with us Patrick. Your openness and honesty is quite refreshing and appreciated. I read a few more of the posts you wrote on permies.com so I could try to understand what is going on. I am pretty scared and worried, too; I have college applications, essays, and visits to complete, and soon
enough, after my senior year of high school, I am going to be ever closer to the real world. I kinda think I understand where you are coming from because the state of the job market, global, and
local economies is pretty intimidating right now.
The only real advice I can give for you is that, "if there is a will, there is a way." I know it is cliche and overused, but the quote is mostly true because people usually find a way to get to where they want to be in life when they spend time planning it out. I say "mostly true" because despite everyone's best efforts there are sadly things, groups, organizations, governments, contingencies, extreme weather, and accidents that make things go awry and are better left discussed in the ulcer factory or on another forum all together.
I wish you the best of luck and look forward to hearing more from you.