Reading these posts has me in tears for all the tough things life can throw at good people. This is a difficult time of year for me--anniversary of the most painful loss of my life, so I get teary at just about anything!--but there are some truly inspiring stories of surviving heartbreak here.
I hope noone who posted here minds me praying for them, for peace and comfort and joy to rest on you all, as soft and as gentle as an old comforter.
I'm only 60! That's not to old to learn to be a permie, right?
Turn, turn, turn,....here we are again. It’s Nov. 1 and holidays are here. Call me a grinch but I think holidays are for children. I don’t have any so I don’t pay much attention to holidays. I can entertain myself in other ways. And we don’t live in villages anymore. We are sometimes hundreds or thousands of miles apart. I can’t walk across the street to my families gathering because they are 250 miles away and I don’t like Winter travel. It’s stressful and dangerous. And as mentioned way too much alcohol is consumed.
I like and appreciate the suggestions on how to cope with SAD, nutrition, loss, illness, and other hazards. And now we have Zoom. Kidding.
Jeremy Baker wrote:Call me a grinch but I think holidays are for children.
It's different when they grow up, but it's still wonderful. We have a large, extended family and we're scattered. That means it's a different mix for each holiday, depending upon who can make it. It's great to get together and share what's been going on in each other's lives and to see nieces/nephews/grandchildren growing up.
If you're feeling that it's just for children, try taking some of the suggestions in this thread and get together with adults. If you don't know many, find a club -- chess, Scrabble, gardening, flowers, cooking. There's a group for just about everything. Try not to be alone. For most people (not all), that adds to depression (and Grinch-iness).
I'm beginning to believe I too suffer from SAD. My children are grown and on their own. Only one is still nearby and we are working on repairing a deep and painful rift that happened when my mom died in '14, but I think a new pattern has been set in our relationship that won't be changed in the time we have before we both go our separate ways. (I will be moving in with my youngest daughter in WV, and the one nearby is saying she will be moving to Georgia)
Her children are grown or nearly so, busy with their own lives.
My childhood was full of large family gatherings on the holidays, but again, all the matriarchs and patriarchs have passed, the rest are scattered and some have excommunicated me for whatever reasons. Even my husband's family has suffered this scattering and rifts since the parents have passed.
So, between the upcoming move across country ( Southern California to WV), the scattering of the younger generations, the passing of my mother (who was our glue), and tensions between my eldest and I, I find myself feeling quite bah humbug this year. I normally put up enoughlights and decorations to be locally the most decorated for several blocks in any direction. This year is at a minimum because I am just NOT FEELING IT.
I don't make friends easily or for long. I don't join groups that get together regularly because of social anxiety issues, and any organized religion puts me off the minute they open their mouths spewing their praises. I try to keep busy with my crafting choices (sewing, crochet) or reading. I'm still doing alot of research on the stuff we want to do in WV.
I'm really chiming in so others know they are not alone in their loneliness, not the only ones suffering emotional pain at a time of year when we are supposed to be gathering with loved ones. We have many stories of how or why, all culminating in the same or similar results of a certain sadness that colors these months at the end of the year.
Brightest Blessings to all. This too will pass, just like those kidney stones. Haha. (Meaning it may be painful, but you/we will get through it)
“Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.” —Ronald Reagan
Remember to always leap before you look. But always take the time to smell the tiny ads: