I like it here in La Palma, Canary island, “Spain in Africa”, and you might like it too... but I do not think I can find a partner here, so I send my message! I do not feel like people who are in their 40’s or 50’s here.
I feel there is a half generation gap, and I am not enthusiast about age difference in a relationship...
This "gap" is about still seeing more the advantages than the defects of chemicals and modern life in general. Also, the use of drugs is enormous and very widespread, and this is not my cupof tea.
Most foreigners here are German speakers and stay quite a lot among themselves, and I do not understand German. I would rather be with some one whose mother tongue is English, or of course Spanish, or French.
Now that I live a permies way of life, I do not want anything else for my personal life!
I want this since childhood, I have always been gardening, observing nature, identifying plants when I was a teen, with a book because nobody would teach me... Modifying my life has been a journey, between trying to conform myself to "normal life" and daring take steps in another direction.
Now my choice is clear: I prefer to live alone than be a traitor to the natural logic I have discovered.
I only miss one natural thing, the tribe life, living with alikes, tuning.
If this happens with only one person, then it will be enough for me. I clearly want a partner who wants not only a natural life at way of life level but also at human level, we are a couple species. We need to "connect our mirror neurones". Say it as you want, play with aura and energy field, harmonize... I like the spanish word cariño...
I want coherence on all levels, deep and high.
For example organic is very much associated to vegetarianism, and I have a problem with gluten, and even with digesting most starches, eg cereals and pulses. I think we are very adaptable and absolutely omnivores, and that body's reaction and need is what counts. Fruits and animal products and some veggies are what suit me best. Call it paleo maybe? I was quite helped by the texts of Ray Peat about food and cell needs for fuel. I am able to produce some of my meat, and use up to the bones as respect. I wish to raise insects as well. What I refuse is only the disrespect in the way of raising animals, transport, bad feeding etc.
I am not fond of pets, even if I am a dog behaviorist, because I see them often as a replacement for what we miss in human social life... Yes I want connection, first of all with humans.
I also want to share a spiritual life, and the path of emotional recovery from the madness of a fast world that has disorganised humanity more and more. Nobody is free of wounds, let’s be humble and see how much we share with traumatized people, even when the stress is not up to the point of handicaping our life. Why not recover from lighter wounds as well? I believe a better recovery is possible, instead of “I am like this”.
I am trained in Somatic experiencing (from Peter Levine) and practise a creative meditation, both working on the autonomic nervous system and clearing it. I also know a body method that relax muscles at the nervous level. I have chosen and learned all that is going directly at the point and name it. Many methods are efficient, but few explain how and why it works as far as we deeply function, as living animal human beings. Our nerves are the electric wire of everything in us. Even traditional ways of life and healings are made to soothe the stress of normal and necessary adaptation to each environment.
I need to share this as part of the couple relationship.
Have you read it? ...Eckart Tolle summerizes it well in the chapter “enlightened relationships” of his book “the power of now”. I do not look for a superior being far ahead in this field (wait for me!) but for someone who has clearly chosen the path of connecting to nature in ALL fields. I also believe, by having noticed it, that love arises between people who have something in common at the level they are sensitive.
I think a relationship can work if we are a mutual help for raising more awareness and “discharging” unnecessary “activations”. (These are from somatic experiencing vocabulary...)
The more intimate a relationship, the more oportunities to “put the finger” on a sensitive button of our partner.
What makes a relationship strong is to get to the point of deep understanding, and go through the process of transformation of our past events. I do not wait for some one to do it, I already do it, but it is more efficient and grounding to share it.
I do not romanticize nature, but being part of it is not so obvious, it is a journey, because it was only partially in my childhood education. I was very lucky to have been fascinated by anthropology since early childhood, and to have “educated myself” as much as I could understand through books. I also had opportunities, I was not brought up in a city.
I was brought up in the common thinking that "you have a manual job when you are not able to study". I was able to, so I had to... (English and Spanish, so it was useful in the end!) Now, I think that people study when they are not able to work with their body!...
And I think that we should all have 2 part time jobs for a balance. I have found ways to live and work outside in nature all my life, without giving up on my intellectual gifts. I use them to find logic and coherence.
I especially like to cross informations.
If I find the same logic through anthopology and biology, then I feel I might be closer to the "truth". In the same way, comparing humans, other animals and plants, and being amazed at our differences with incredible common points, has been a good help for securing my understanding about what I learnt by myself, because it was not transmited to me through culture.
What else is important?
I do not smoke, though I can, as a way of sending a message to the universe... I am not into drugs and never was, I respect plants as being medicinal and not for recreational use.
I also do not like the regular use of alcool, though a glass with a meal is ok. I accept it as a way to preserve some juices and make plant tinctures.
I am not social enough to like all this as a common way to help create relationship between people. Well, I am not very much a party person, and I am not the best diplomatic person. I keep some shyness and uneasiness with social conventions. But that is also what makes it possible for me to adapt to a new culture.
I had thought about going to Polynesia, I knew some people from there. I even have 2 tatoos of this style, and according to the guy who did them, I understand very well the meanings of the symbols and the way it is a co-creation. Co-creation represents very well what I love in life.
I have also worked as a nature guide and in a pedagogic farm with children. I am much into gardening and food transforming tests also at the moment. I am creative in recipes and in general in my daily life, so that I do not have to separate art and do it on its own.
So, I have no art practise at all apart from designing a place for living.
I like classic and especially baroc music, and most traditional musics from the world, though I do not put music on at home and live on birds songs.
I was going to forget mentionning I have no children.
I am 1m65 tall and thin like a teenager, and do not generally feel very at ease with big or tall guys. You can interprete I do not need to feel protected or do not want to be impressed! Or some kind of balance...
I live on my own but have already shared home. I do not have any special problem for sustaining a relationship. My past failures came primarily from my not clinging and claiming for what style of life I really want (thinking it was impossible....), or also from partners who had problems with divorce and children, and some anger. I cannot stand anger at all. Well, I cannot stand that people “only” control it and do not want to see what is behind and solve the problem. And that is ok for me to solve the problem of fear of anger I have!!
With no longing for personal work in the relationship, for real intimacy, no way for me to create a couple.
This is number1.
Let’s see reality: What is not so easy between a man and a woman from the same culture and in their 20’s cannot be easier later, without creating "something" to succeed. And I do not see this as therapy because ups and downs of life are not disease or madness. So I do not separate this process of growth from daily life. Having 24 hours a day, better to do some 3 in 1 whenever possible!
Permaculture is about taking care of the people and relationships as well as the earth.
As for a land, you can see the difference between settling in a new or untended place, or going on the work of your ancesters as in un unbroken transmission. This will not be a couple emerging from the logical going on of our culture, so it will be the challenge of building a lot from new.
Permaculture is a lot about reparing and reconnecting with the tending of our environmennt, including the human one.
I can either think about a common life in the Canaries, I am the owner of my place (though I think more in terms of stewardship...),
or a new place to both, like in Spanish speaking America,
or I can think about joining someone in a project.
In that case, it would be a plus for me that you were brought up at your place in a traditional / rural way, have gone away as a young man, for studying and to see something else, or may be attracted by something more modern, and decided was worth it for you, after understanding the quality of life in tune with nature. I am perfectly able to adapt if I feel the internal support and the human warmth needed. I mjean I would love to get into something you know well, feel it and adopt it.
Talking about warmth, yes I prefer to live with the kind of climate I experience now! Subtropical gardening is also great... though there is no winter stop and rest...
Professionally, I am not very strong physically, and I suffer from having done some physical work a little bit passed my possibilities. So, I am quite ok with gender adaptability to the daily tasks!
All work relating with tending our way of producing food and medicine, and transforming, preserving etc.
And I also want to be part time on Somatic Experiencing practise, as it is really an efficient tool. Each time I do it, I am curious about the surprise or even the little miracle that is going to happen. I also develop some self-help with it, as controling any pain like a headache. Whatever I know I love teaching it.
Any project where I could also work with children would be a great pleasure.
I mention all this because being able to work is part of a shared life, and a real issue to deal with when moving is an option.
I had sent this message in an unspoken voice to the universe, and it might even work better to get an answer by doing something!
Xisca Nicolas wrote:Who will move?
Note: I did not mean "who is reading me and will move to where I live"
I mean "When I find a soulmate, who will move? He, I or us?"
Xisca Nicolas wrote:... I am not very strong physically, and I suffer from having done some physical work a little bit passed my possibilities. So, I am quite ok with gender adaptability to the daily tasks!
And I wanted to add another photo, as it is quite funny that I said I am not very strong! Well, give me... and I will move the world!!!
And yes, it got down where I wanted...
In the meanwhile you have my admiration for your project and thoughts.
I knew only the specific calabacín from Liguria, but the scenaries are great!
Nice project too, I guess you are going to write a little more in Permies, welcome for you 1st post....!
One thing from my experience....
you write that you are "aware of human nature: the predominance of the instincts, including violence, oppression, envy, speciesism, racism.
I do not condemn these impulses: they are the result of natural selection, the constant adaptive struggle between species and within the same. However I feel an unquenchable pain in participating the fight. For my constitution, I prefer cooperation to competition, generosity to genetic selfishness."
It was good for me to learn that it is not genetic, not the result of selection, but the normal result of neuro-activation that humans no more know well how to expulse from the body. We are ourselves as humans when we can react in the present and without the accumulation of pain. We cannot even do it consciously (the cortex does not control this but interprete the pain into ideas to recover coherence) without discharging this activation, as it can grow into illness, which means that we hurt ourselves.... as bad as hurting others.
You surely deal with this when you treat children after wounds, but the consecuences show after months only, and the relationship is almost invisible.
I don't have self sufficiency target but improve my sustainability. My motivation is mainly aesthetic and I have no dogmatic approach to anything, which excludes me quite often from groups, as I put in discussion assumptions.
About your comment, I'm afraid it's not enough just to state affirmation like: "It was good for me to learn that it is not genetic, not the result of selection".
If you deny instincts (genetically imprinted reactions, base of sensations, feelings), where are they coming from? Some God?
"But the normal result of neuro-activation that humans no more know well how to expulse from the body", implies there was a time we were able to do that, when was that?
I think the body it's not a container, but the source of everything we are, I'm an atheist: I think the mind is expression of the body, which is a community of cells with functions configured to survive and reproduce.
I think individualities are side sparks of the giant flow of life. I'm not anthropocentric and always try to put everything in the space-time perspective which is immensely deep.
I'm also a physiotherapist (focused on children) and my experience says there is not a rule about traumas, like you affirm.
And then I like to forget all that stuff and run downhill from a sand dune, possibly together with children.
Right, what I say is not enough, but this is just a little post! I am here just to tell who I am in this topic. I feel part of the food chain, I hate violence between humans, as all animal do within their species (they are usually quite specists themselves, except when they are brought up together as shephard dogs etc). For me, counts the quality of life and I do not want CAFO stuff incluiding for eggs. Death does not matter.
I did not write that I deny instincts, I know them well. Their basis is in the body, and we share most of it with all forms of life, even reptiles. But we humans have a little problem for reasons I cannot state here, though we are still able to do it, that is why I said that we no more know WELL how to do it.
Animals still do it more easily than us.
Yes, it is about surviving, but when the process go awry, the defense activation is still running inside the body. Animals discharge it better than us. What we see as violence in humans is only a suffering coming from this inner charge. That is in this sense that i said it was not genetic. Our genetic is made to expulse the energy that was not used. Just imagine you escape a car accident with a very little movement of your driving wheel. But your body got prepared for an eventual bigger issue.
What do you do with this unused energy?
You stop on the side of the road and calm down, very comonly with tremblings.
You can see those tremblings in many utube videos of impala etc escaping from death after having been caught. I have never seen humans tremble so much as this, or even as much as dogs (they still discharge like this too).
In that sense I say that we have lost some facilities for this ordinary discharge, and when we do, we no more fully understand what is happening.
For children or adults, there is no rule about trauma, there are ruleSSSSS. They are so simple that they are complex in their diversity of expression. Porges has already changed a lot of the past paradigm with his poly-vagal theory, but the same line of the somatic Experiencing of Peter Levine is getting wider and wider audience because of its clinic efficiency. And from my personal experience and practise, this is just amazing me more and more.
I just come from a Touch module of SE, and when you can see what can be listened from the body by resonance, and how the body regulates itself alone without any physio work... it can be the activation from anaestesia or a pain that goes away... I remember experiencing even changes in my posture, where my weight is on my feet, I got rid of headaches, and I am working now on an old surgery that still has activation in my body, but too much to let it go all at once. I have aches from this, but they started for some 1 month after the surgery, and much later for others. Even with the knowledge I have, I could not relate all the elements, but it came out from the body directly and now I feel it clearly. I am going to see if i can get rid of this tensions in my muscles!