posted 6 years ago
What they said.
A 10-step process to jumpstart a non-heating compost pile.
Step 1: Pee on it.
Step 2: Dramatically increase the size of the pile, as it may not have enough mass to really get warm and stay warm. A cubic meter is a good size. You can get bigger. I regularly make piles that are 5 feet tall.
Step 3: Dramatically increase the ratio of greens to browns. A couple of big bags of fresh grass clipping's outta do that for you. But just in case . . .
Step 4: Go to Starbucks and get a couple of 5-gallon buckets filled to the brim with used coffee grounds. BEAUTIFUL STUFF, them coffee grounds. They are slightly acidic but not a problem. But coffee grounds are the ultimate green to jumpstart a dead compost pile.
Step 5: Pee on it again. Not only is human urine nitrogen rich, but it's extra moisture for the pile.
Step 6: Re-mix your pile, adding the new greens and making sure that you are wetting it layer by layer as you build the pile. This may be your problem -- it may not be moist enough. Often, I'll pre-soak the browns for a day or two in a barrel or bin or some sort, just to make sure that they are adequately saturated. If you can use rain water for this, all the better, as city water has chlorine in it and that kills microbes. Rainwater is high in nitrogen as well, so that's one more benefit.
Step 7: Sneak out under cover of night and steel your neighbors' bagged grass clippings, veggie scraps, drier lint, and whatever else might be laying around asking to be taken. Add these. If they've got bagged leaves, these are a brown and you'll only want to add them in limited amounts or your ratios will not be hot enough. But grab them anywhere. Leaves are garden gold. Use them as mulch.
Step 8: Cover the pile with an old chunk of carpet or plastic or something. You want to keep the heat in but keep excessive rain off the pile. Some rain is good, but a heavy rain can over-saturate things.
Step 9: Sit back and enjoy your favorite beverage. Pee on the pile if your bladder feels full after the beverage, but you've done all you need to do.
Step 10: Check it 2 days later. It'll be hot. Turn it every 3 days and it will be fully cooked in 21 days.
An optional 11th step is to thank me by baking me a peach cobbler. I promise that if you follow these fool-proof 10 steps, you will dance the happy compost dance by day 21.
Mmm . . . cobbler.
"The rule of no realm is mine. But all worthy things that are in peril as the world now stands, these are my care. And for my part, I shall not wholly fail in my task if anything that passes through this night can still grow fairer or bear fruit and flower again in days to come. For I too am a steward. Did you not know?" Gandolf