My dad says that before he had kids, he knew exactly how to raise them. After raising 6, he says he no longer has any idea of the best way.
Raising kids is a subtle business, varying with the child and adult personalities and situations, so each child is a little different. Don't try to be what you aint. If you are the mother bear, be a mother bear. Just be a good mother bear. Each style has good and bad ways to implement it. All of them though, require the adult to actually act like an adult. If you are so focused on your own troubles that you can't focus on your kids, they will end up raising you, and kids aren't good at that.
People get all wound up on corporal punishment, quality time, and other extraneous stuff. You need to be in control. You need to have some 'give' and reasonableness in your control. You need to put in the time! Quality time just happens way more often than it can be scheduled and controlled. Kids need to know there are limits, they are loved, and that they can become capable.
One of the things that every teenager (and parent of teenagers) goes through is the 'self righteous phase' when kids realize that their parents screw up sometimes (sometimes it is a screw up, sometimes it's just the kids expectations are higher than a normal human can consistantly sustain). It's painful for everyone.
I personally took my parents style, mixed it with my grandparents style, adjusted to agree with my wifes families style, and adjusted for things I learned at church and new legal norms, etc. My wife and I have different relationships with our kids. It works for us. I'm a bit of a grandstander, like being the center of attention. It shows in my parenting style. My wife
plans things meticulously, that is her style. I can't do that. I work off the cuff, but is seems to work well, for me.
The final thing I will say is that both parents need to be on the same page and support each other. Kids can smell fear or disunity and will take advantage of it for their own nefarious ends, to the whole families detriment.