When do you need counseling?

Well, I have an opinion here, and that is: Counseling is a good thing!  My parents were the smack-you-around kind; and when one day my two-year-old daughter was being serially destructive, I got angry and grabbed her fat little wrist - and it shook me to the core.  I didn't want to be like that, smacking my little one around when I was angry; and she was so little!!  I called Catholic Charities and got into counseling.  They have a sliding pay scale, and totally professional, degreed counselors with a Christian take on things. However, if you are not Christian this will not be obvious.   We went every week for a year or two, until we were "too busy"/no longer needed that.  It was very helpful, and there when we needed it.

I also went to counseling briefly after moving to MS from NYC; I was depressed and needed to vent, and didn't have close friendships yet.  I went until it became inconvenient. XD

PERHAPS getting help when you need it is the last thing you may be inclined to do, if truly emotionally disturbed.  Perhaps it is a sign of overall stability to do this; and so we need to listen deeply to one another.  Sometimes you can save a life just by "being the counselor" yourself.  A counselor mostly listens and empathizes...obviously, if self harm is even remotely possible, professional help will be needed...

I totally agree with you Betsy. I have a friend whose son really needs counselling but they haven't found any they can afford. I'm really glad you both saw the need and feel that you did the best you could with the counselling you got.

It's not unusual for people to attend counselling and get to the point where they just need time for the new behaviors to settle and for them to be comfortable in their "new mind-set".

After they've done so, they're some sort of trigger that sends them back into counselling for another round and they make further progress again. Some of these changes are a life-long project and well worth the time and effort!

I had a friend in high school who was a poor student with low grades.

Her parents sent her to counseling and the counseling change her life.  She started getting excellent grades.

I also feel that it is good to talk with a physician when feeling like counseling might help.  The physician can recommend someone.

True points, Jay and Anne; and I would like to make another: I read/heard somewhere before getting counseling that you don't need to find the perfect counselor; you need a good-enough one...that may sound simplistic but first of all, a lot of folks are perfectionistic or OCD and "good enough" isn't in their vocabulary; the other thing is that, being humans, when we are in distress and need to spill it we will be often overly concerned about to whom we are exposing ourselves, whether they have what it takes to help us, and whether we are going to just be throwing money away...

The cost aspect is important; but I believe every State has some provision for free or subsidized counseling, especially for minors...  Worth calling around to find out!

There was only once where I thought I needed counseling, but because laws are changing, I would never go.

In my case my wife had left me, was keeping my kids from me, and had taken everything from the house except my dog. Dating was not going well, then my dog got sick; to the point where I had to put her down. Growing up on a farm, while I realize a lot of people can't do that themselves, I can. After we had gone for the long one-way walk, I am looking at my now departed dog, and just walked away. I had a backhoe so I could have buried her, but I just didn't. It was just this whole big nothingness inside.

The only thing that bothered me about that whole encounter was that I never once cried. Not a tear, and that downright scared me. I should have felt something.

But unfortunately, laws are changing. If you get the wrong kind of medications, or a counselor cites you; you are under red flag warnings so you cannot conceal carry, or buy new guns. It is kind of foolish because it does not change the fact that a person might have a dozen of them anyway, but it really ends up being this silly vortex of nonsense because in a nation with 400 million guns, we want those people to get mental help and not have laws that trip them up from getting help.

But like most things, for me, time moved on, and life started again, and feelings returned, but I will never forget that strange feeling of feeling nothing that day.