Clue, the game, Permies style!

In the board game Clue the players attempt to figure who has committed a murder, where it was done, and with what weapon. ( Cluedo for more information)
The format for a guess is usually "I accuse (person's name) in the (place name) with the (item name)" An example would be "I accuse of the murder: Miss Scarlet, in the parlor, with a candlestick!"

Permies are kind of a breed unto ourselves, I think we need our own version of the game.
What strange things have you or another done, that shows you are a permie, that would make really bizarre funny answers in a Clue game?

Example: I got mushroom spawn that needed to be kept cool. The hall bathroom has an air conditioner issue that makes it cold so I put it in there.
I accuse of being a Permie: Pearl, in the hall bathroom, with mushroom spawn!

Example: I was moving my compost pile, needed to cut up some weeds, don't have a machete, had a meat cleaver with me. I hit tree roots going into the pile, and ended up crawling through the pile chopping the roots off with the knife.
I accuse of being a Permie: Pearl, in the compost pile, with a meat cleaver!

What odd things have you done that would make good weird Clue accusations, that prove you are a Permie?

:D

We have a central winding staircase with corners where the treads are wider. This is actually one of the cooler parts of the house, thanks to the uninsulated box room and cold bridging velux window above the stairs, so that is where I keep my preserves. It's pretty empty at the moment, but raspberry jam and plum jam are now ready to be added to the store :)

I accuse of being a Permie - Nancy, on the stairs, with jam jars!

Jagger had exhausted his owner because he refused to go to bed. I came out to help, and managed to chase him into the Banty run, but he still was avoiding us. So I grabbed the naughty boy by his tail feathers.

I accuse of being a permie - Jay, squatting in the rain in the banty run, with rooster tail feathers!

Ms. Yellow Legs had done a great job of setting in a dog crate, but it's no place to start raising the chicks once they're out of the shell!

I accuse of being a chicken: Ms. Yellow Legs, in the dog crate, needing to move to the Attic.



Here she is after the move. She has 8 all together, but some are hiding!

Once I had a pile of fresh hot compost delivered (don't judge) that my grandson was playing on.  He uncovered what appeared to me to be a femur.  In the ER (work) the next day,  I told the story.   My co workers know I live in the city and became concerned that it was a human femur and suggested I call the police.   I went back out to check before I decided to call.   It had rained,  so all the hot compost dust that had whitened it had washed off leaving what was clearly a stick.   No call was made.   😂  And my coworkers found all manner of creative ways to express how hilarious they found the situation.
So, I accuse Cris of murder in the compost pile with a hot stick.

No example, but our local regional theatre had the play Clue as part of the program last season.  It was hilarious, so if Clue comes to a theatre near you, I'd recommend going to see it.

J'accuse Derek in the theatre of distracting the Permies thread.

I'm going to accuse Luke of being a permie with squash on the stairs!




Luke's attempt at 100 000 calories