Bryant RedHawk wrote:hau Lori, I have to give you kudos for sticking it out for so long.
Bonsai; do you have a proper Bonsai container for this tree? If you do, do you have some spot where you live that will work for moving it home with you?
You can lift a bonsai at just about any time of year as long as you have the container of proper size, fresh soil and moss and a place outdoors for a home. (your tree sounds marvelous)
I have grown Bonsai since 1970, It is really best to have them close so you can take good care of them and make sure they have enough water.
At one point I had 35 trees, it was almost work to keep up with their watering (morning and evening). If you have any questions, toss them at me.
Bryant RedHawk wrote:I must say, Gary is looking very good. I am so sorry that you are in such a situation.
Lori Ziemba wrote:I just found out the people upstairs are moving to the country, a house with 2 acres. Neither of them knows how to garden...
Tereza Okava wrote:
Would they perchance be going not so far and needing a mentor to get them gardening? This could be a golden opportunity!!
F Agricola wrote:Seems like many of the current members are not very nice people, and a few are bullies. So, perhaps you need to decide whether it’s worth the anguish to continue with them, but, there are alternatives:
1. Easier said than done, but simply ignore them – turn around and walk away shuts them down.
2. When they approach you in the garden, simply put the hose on them – they will certainly keep a distance from then on. (Positive/negative reinforcement like training a pet)
3. Let your garden plots turn to self-seeding ‘weeds’ so they infest others gardens – if questioned, you’re legitimately growing dandelions, etc
4. Use the ‘Rules’ against them, and keep pushing for the ‘Rules’ to be enforced. I bet if you w noere to threaten Lawyer action, they would back off. (If you have a friend who is legal-savvy, take them to the meeting, sit back and enjoy).
5. If they ‘steal’ your crops, then ‘borrow’ some of theirs too. The ‘tit-for-tat’ is childish, but can be very enjoyable to watch as they implode from exasperation.
6. Extreme: do a Roman Army on their arses – pull out all your plants, spread a lot of salt on the soil and water it in, then resign membership – they will think they won and now have your garden plots, but nothing will grow.
I've been through similar experiences in Clubs. I found it good practice to remove emotion from the equation and think through the process logically - it's not a matter of life & death, it's just personal attachment to a 'thing'. Eliminating the emotional aspects certainly allowed me to think clearly and strategise ways forward that suited my needs and wants.
What REALLY makes me sad is the obnoxious couple travels HERE in your winter. PLEASE, we have enough of our own dicks to deal with, don’t need to import them too!
Jack Hall wrote:There is only one thing to do with these kinds of people and that is to somehow help them to see what they are doing. Most people feel justified in their actions even bad actions because they have good intentions in their minds. In order for you and them to become better people and gardeners for your community you must figure out how to:
21 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
22 For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the Lord shall reward thee. Proverbs 25
there are always ways to change a situation, it is just a matter of finding what hits the soft spot, be kind and go above and beyond and find out what it is, everyone in that garden will be happier for your work and effort.
Leslie Russell wrote: I hate to be the kick in the pants, but it's time for something new. The biggest lesson I have learned about change is that the next unknown thing will be more magnificent than the last.
Ann Soco wrote:
There are a series of books on the Art of Verbal Self Defense. They have been around for years and they do a great job of teaching methods to deal with toxic personalities. This might be helpful.
It might help to figure out exactly what you want from the people who are attacking you. Do you want them to just shut up? There are techniques that can help accomplish that but it depends on the circumstances.
Do the organizational rules have any rules that deal with this type of situation? That could be another method of dealing with with things.
The most important thing is to stay calm. I have found that the most aggressive person cannot deal with someone facing them with confidence, calmness and kindness. They expect either complete obedience to their demands or aggressiveness in return. They are prepared to cope with both of those but not a calm strong stance.
I also wonder if the members that have been there a long time might have early dementia.
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