How do I turn my wish into reality?

What state, I’m curious?

Mariya Bee wrote:

Anne Miller wrote:Have you thought about looking for a Wwoofer position near your location so you do not need to travel alone?

https://permies.com/wiki/213640/wwoofing/experiences/WWOOF-USA

https://permies.com/t/2917/volunteering/experiences/Great-Resources-Volunteering

Years ago, I had the $50 year subscription and visited a few in my area with my dad. With each one, it didn't work out: they didn't think I'd work enough, needed heavy lifting (which I don't do), etc etc. just wasn't my path...

Sorry, I had no idea there was a cost involved.

I worked with volunteers for many years, not Wwoof and there was never a cost involved ...

There must be some volunteer something near you that does not have a cost.  What about a State Park or National Park, National Forest, etc.

I am a believer in positive thinking.  There are folks that believe that visualizing something makes it happen.

Napoleon Hill firmly believed in and promoted the practice of visualization, emphasizing it as a crucial tool for turning desires into reality through mental focus, faith, and the power of the subconscious mind. He advised creating vivid mental blueprints of desired outcomes, using the senses to make the visualization real, and employing it in daily rituals with positive emotions to attract opportunities and align circumstances with one's goals.

Hi Mariya,
Don't spend your prescious energy to worrying too much. Just do your daily stuff, or if it's not enough, pick up a hobby that fascinates you, moves you, nourishes you.
You already know which way you want to go. Live your daily life, take babysteps in the right direction where they pop up on your path, keeping your eyes open for opportunities... Try to tune your inner energy in tune with the deeper flow of Life 'out there'. <--- try to keep it tuned.
Big squeezy hug from the other side of the pond.
Good luck!

M Ljin wrote:What state, I’m curious?

Maine

Anne Miller wrote:Napoleon Hill firmly believed in and promoted the practice of visualization, emphasizing it as a crucial tool for turning desires into reality through mental focus, faith, and the power of the subconscious mind. He advised creating vivid mental blueprints of desired outcomes, using the senses to make the visualization real, and employing it in daily rituals with positive emotions to attract opportunities and align circumstances with one's goals.

Thanks Anne, I've tried visualizing, idk how it works for others but my wishes used to only come true when I forgot about them ironically

Nina Surya wrote:Hi Mariya,
Don't spend your prescious energy to worrying too much. Just do your daily stuff, or if it's not enough, pick up a hobby that fascinates you, moves you, nourishes you.
You already know which way you want to go. Live your daily life, take babysteps in the right direction where they pop up on your path, keeping your eyes open for opportunities... Try to tune your inner energy in tune with the deeper flow of Life 'out there'. <--- try to keep it tuned.
Big squeezy hug from the other side of the pond.
Good luck!

Thank you! Trying my best! There must be some extra law of attraction advice for those going through a decade long spiritual awakening where nothing of the old interests them anymore while the new hasn't yet arrived and all they want to do is be in nature and listen to the silence or birds.... Lol

I gotta admit I'm starting to see the perspective of the pessimists that I used to help. When day after day, you are in an apartment trying to focus on peace, then construction noises begin, odors or fumes from the downstairs paint jobs rise, you want to run outside but you don't feel peaceful in the neighborhood either, you know you'll just come back 10 minutes later. There are good days too when it's quiet and wind comes through the window, you are grateful for those days but are struck with total emptiness, still not knowing where to go and what to do. You imagine a place where you feel happy and free, but you don't know where it is, and so the waiting game begins.

Your words cause me to think of this quote

"It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
we have come to our real work
and when we no longer know which way to go,
we have begun our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings."
~Wendell Berry

I do understand that you know how you want to live, just not how to get there.

As others have said, small directional steps could take you where you want to go.

Is anything tying you to your current living situation?

...maybe just breaking out of your lifestyle in any direction might shake things up a little and give you a new perspective?

Judith Browning wrote:Your words cause me to think of this quote

"It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
we have come to our real work
and when we no longer know which way to go,
we have begun our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings."
~Wendell Berry

I do understand that you know how you want to live, just not how to get there.

As others have said, small directional steps could take you where you want to go.

Is anything tying you to your current living situation?

...maybe just breaking out of your lifestyle in any direction might shake things up a little and give you a new perspective?

I really like that quote! It's definitely relatable. Just the confusion of not knowing is keeping me from making a change and also plans failing from the other end whenever I finally want to give something a try!

Judith, I also think I'm not sure I know exactly what I would choose but I know I want a place where I can experiment and a partner to experiment with, then perhaps invite others to join us. I want to experiment with sleeping under the stars, growing some of my own food, living without a clock and a calendar, without electronics, all the things that I used to write about, I'd like to actually explore.

Today is one of those days where I feel hopeless. I have tried to find something for 7 months, but of course it had to pass through my intuition and most things felt worse than where I am now. I've waited and waited, and posted and tried dating sites and nothing felt right, no options felt better. Prior to the 7 months, I prayed and waited for a miracle to bring me to my place and people. I got to move out of a chaotic household in the city to another spot in the city because I knew no other place that had a space for me. It was a family friend. A common theme in my life was always leaving a place because it was bad for me but I haven't found a place I actually WANTED to go to or stay at. And I really need that. I really really need that...

Bad relations with others are really hard. I can tell it is still weighing on you a lot.

Maybe your intuition is telling you that these options aren’t right because you need to work on your relationship with your ancestors? Feeling uprooted from your family cannot help, and I remember reading you and your family were uprooted previously too, via migration (a cycle of unsafety/uprootedness). It might be that you need to work with your relationship with family to the point where, maybe you don’t need to move back with them or be totally friendly, but at least make some kind of peace.

(Assuming your ancestors are involved—it could be a bad romantic relationship too.)

I have worked on my relationship with my parents for a while now because I knew in my soul that was what needed work. It has been rewarding though hard. As Andrew Marlin sings: “Unlearn to live like prey”. I don’t know what sort of music you like (besides live and acoustic) but the whole song (Watchhouse, “Sway”) has themes that are relevant.

I believe now strongly that our relationship with ancestors is the root of our disconnection with nature and the world as a whole. I could share my experience of growing up in rural Vermont, in my opinion paradise, being taken foraging mushrooms, ramps and fiddleheads with my parents since before I could walk, and still feeling as a child an absolute dissociation with everything, walled off from everything, from my own body even, by my fear and powerlessness, my imprisonment in a human form, in a house, subjected to the wills of parents and teachers, adults. It wasn’t ever like I was cut off from external nature physically, and spiritually I was connected to the beauty and wonder of nature outside myself, but rather from my own inner, human nature. I would look for fairy doors in the forest to a land where I would be freed from the suffocation caused by the ancestral trauma of civilization. It’s the human nature, the one that comes from our ancestors who cause us to live, that seems to need the most healing.

I also find that the more I balance my relationships with land, neighbors, friends, and family, the less I need any of them to take care of me/make me feel safe. Some people are good at some things, others less so. One person might help with garden work but be completely useless with emotional support, or the other way around, for a contrived example. Maybe you need to give something to someone who can’t give it back to you but needs it, and that helps the community go round, same with other people and you. In certain indigenous societies (Mayans for instance) someone could go their whole life without experiencing true romantic love but still feel satisfied and in community. Martin Prechtel calls this “marrying the village” and it is a reminder of how the more connected we are the less we need one person to satisfy us. Really, community isn’t just us and our neighbors, it is our entire ecosystem, including humans/ancestors, mice, rocks, birds, mushrooms, trees, herbs, and mosquitos.

How does this sit with you?

M Ljin wrote:Bad relations with others are really hard. I can tell it is still weighing on you a lot.

Maybe your intuition is telling you that these options aren’t right because you need to work on your relationship with your ancestors? Feeling uprooted from your family cannot help, and I remember reading you and your family were uprooted previously too, via migration (a cycle of unsafety/uprootedness). It might be that you need to work with your relationship with ancestors to the point where, maybe you don’t need to move back with them or be totally friendly, but at least make some kind of peace.

I have worked on my relationship with my parents for a while now because I knew in my soul that was what needed work. It has been rewarding though hard. As Andrew Marlin sings: “Unlearn to live like prey”. I don’t know what sort of music you like (besides live and acoustic) but the whole song (Watchhouse, “Sway”) has themes that are relevant.

I believe now strongly that our relationship with ancestors is the root of our disconnection with nature and the world as a whole. I could share my experience of growing up in rural Vermont, in my opinion paradise, being taken foraging mushrooms, ramps and fiddleheads with my parents since before I could walk, and still feeling as a child an absolute dissociation with everything, walled off from everything, from my own body even, by my fear and powerlessness, my imprisonment in a human form, in a house, subjected to the wills of parents and teachers, adults. It wasn’t ever like I was cut off from external nature physically, and spiritually I was connected to the beauty and wonder of nature outside myself, but rather from my own inner, human nature. I would look for fairy doors in the forest to a land where I would be freed from the suffocation caused by the ancestral trauma of civilization. It’s the human nature, the one that comes from our ancestors who cause us to live, that seems to need the most healing.

I also find that the more I balance my relationships with land, neighbors, friends, and family, the less I need any of them to take care of me/make me feel safe. Some people are good at some things, others less so. One person might help with garden work but be completely useless with emotional support, or the other way around, for a contrived example. Maybe you need to give something to someone who can’t give it back to you but needs it, and that helps the community go round, same with other people and you. In indigenous societies (Mayans for instance) someone could go their whole life without experiencing true romantic love but still feel satisfied and in community. Martin Prechtel calls this “marrying the village” and it is a reminder of how the more connected we are the less we need one person to satisfy us. Really, community isn’t just us and our neighbors, it is our entire ecosystem, including humans/ancestors, mice, rocks, birds, mushrooms, trees, herbs, and mosquitos.

How does this sit with you?

That's very beautiful and makes sense. Healing the ancestral trauma has been a theme of mine, definitely. But in my current situation, it is the location and lack of nature, places to spend time in nature that are making me feel uneasy. Of course people have a lot to do with it too, they are the ones making frequent construction noises and odors. Likewise, other people help me get away from it at times too...depending on who

Are you eating, drinking and sleeping enough? City noises are of course a cause of shallow sleep or sleep deprivation and that can mess with our ability to think/dream our way out of a bind, and that can be self-perpetuating when the anxiety it creates carries on and disrupts sleeping. And being well fed with balanced food and hydrated can’t hurt. Dehydration especially tends to make perception sharper and imagination less potent—leading to difficult concentration, higher sensitivity to noise, etc. Not that the noise isn’t awful, but anything we can do to help can make a difference.

Also sufficient exercise like walking…

Dreaming is also important for processing our situation, imagining/visioning a way out, and lifting the overwhelm and anxiety that the waking mind is wont to create, and the insights gained are often precious. My life has followed my dreams much more than it has followed my wishes—though my wishes are the direction, and dreams the path. (Both are necessary…)

M Ljin wrote:Are you eating, drinking and sleeping enough? City noises are of course a cause of shallow sleep or sleep deprivation and that can mess with our ability to think/dream our way out of a bind, and that can be self-perpetuating when the anxiety it creates carries on and disrupts sleeping. And being well fed with good food and hydrated can’t hurt. Dehydration especially tends to make perception sharper and imagination less potent—leading to difficult concentration, higher sensitivity to noise, etc. Not that the noise isn’t awful, but anything we can do to help can make a difference.

Also sufficient exercise like walking…

Dreaming is also important for processing our situation, imagining/visioning a way out, and lifting the overwhelm and anxiety that the waking mind is wont to create, and the insights gained are often precious. My life has followed my dreams much more than it has followed my wishes—though my wishes are the direction, and dreams the path. (Both are necessary…)

Makes sense! I've been oversleeping, actually. Eating is ok and drinking! I got into this cycle of trying to find a way out and feeling drained because it required internet research (and I'm electrosensitive), failing and then trying again and again and again.... Until I talk to people for hours online who make me feel more calm but physically extremely drained. Then I spend some days just not talking to people online, and feel better physically but also trapped again.

Sharing something I came across that I really loved! Very relevant, and for those who need it, a blessing!

FOR A NEW BEGINNING (A Blessing)
By John O'Donohue

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.
For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.
It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.
Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.
Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life's desire.
Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

I've moved around quite a bit, and I think that the usual way to get into a loving, supportive community is to be born there.  It is possible to get "adopted" but just marrying in and raising a family may be insufficient.  There are also a lot of small, feuding communities.  Humans are imaginative, and that gets quashed in a group that puts harmony and tradition first.  

The poem is beautiful, Mariya, as is all his work. It's one to read again and again and really let it soak in.

Just bear in mind that the only person keeping you stuck at the moment is you. It sounds as if you're placing so many limitations on yourself and on what you'll do and where you'll go. Sometimes, our intuition is a trickster. It can see its role as to keep us safe, but we may have learned a mistaken idea of safety.

It's so hard to step out of our comfort zone. For me, I only found my place when I took risks, travelled alone although I was terrified (I have a travel triggered health issue), went somewhere completely new where I knew no one and didn't even know if it would be a safe place. I cried so hard the first night there and thought I'd made a terrible mistake buying a place on the internet without even seeing it first. Turned out I hadn't, God had led me to exactly the right place for me. It just needed a lot of work to make it what I wanted.

I'm not suggesting you take as big or as risky a step as I did. But talk to the limitations you're putting on yourself, talk to the depression I'm sensing that you're not where you want to be. Journalling on paper could help a lot. Are the limitations really all non-negotiable? Is your intuition leading you wrong in it's attempt to keep you safe?

Also, think about how much effort and work you're prepared to put in to get to where you want to be. It can require a great deal of hard work, even when it's where God wants us to be. In my experience, miracles do happen and huge blessings can just fall into our laps. But they're more likely to do so if we;re already putting ourselves out there and putting in the work.

I wonder also if putting a post in the Permies singles section might help you find a male travelling companion, if that's what you want? Most of the replies to this post are from women, or from happily married guys a lot older than you. We can give advice and prayer for you, but we can't travel with you! You can set the rules and make sure this is someone you feel comfortable with, someone who will respect your wishes before you choose to spend time with them on a road trip.

Jane Mulberry wrote:The poem is beautiful, Mariya, as is all his work. It's one to read again and again and really let it soak in.

Just bear in mind that the only person keeping you stuck at the moment is you. It sounds as if you're placing so many limitations on yourself and on what you'll do and where you'll go. Sometimes, our intuition is a trickster. It can see its role as to keep us safe, but we may have learned a mistaken idea of safety.

It's so hard to step out of our comfort zone. For me, I only found my place when I took risks, travelled alone although I was terrified (I have a travel triggered health issue), went somewhere completely new where I knew no one and didn't even know if it would be a safe place. I cried so hard the first night there and thought I'd made a terrible mistake buying a place on the internet without even seeing it first. Turned out I hadn't, God had led me to exactly the right place for me. It just needed a lot of work to make it what I wanted.

I'm not suggesting you take as big or as risky a step as I did. But talk to the limitations you're putting on yourself, talk to the depression I'm sensing that you're not where you want to be. Journalling on paper could help a lot. Are the limitations really all non-negotiable? Is your intuition leading you wrong in it's attempt to keep you safe?

Also, think about how much effort and work you're prepared to put in to get to where you want to be. It can require a great deal of hard work, even when it's where God wants us to be. In my experience, miracles do happen and huge blessings can just fall into our laps. But they're more likely to do so if we;re already putting ourselves out there and putting in the work.

I wonder also if putting a post in the Permies singles section might help you find a male travelling companion, if that's what you want? Most of the replies to this post are from women, or from happily married guys a lot older than you. We can give advice and prayer for you, but we can't travel with you! You can set the rules and make sure this is someone you feel comfortable with, someone who will respect your wishes before you choose to spend time with them on a road trip.

Hi Jane!

Thank you for your message, it is deeply thoughtful and thought provoking! I suppose it's also my sensitivity to modern society (that literally makes me feel dizzy sometimes and started after spiritual practices/books) that makes me feel like traveling on my own is not a good idea. However I am leaving room for an exception if it feels right.

And I actually posted in permies singles but didn't find who I was looking for just yet. I guess, I'll keep an open mind and be open to various opportunities!

I hope you find what you want, Mariya.

Be open to opportunities, and perhaps also open to some small safe small pushbacks to what you see as your limitations. Maybe this was just me, but my experience has been that it was never the universe or other people who kept me stuck, I kept myself stuck.

Also sometimes, what I perceived as stuck was actually where I was supposed to be, there were good learning opportunities there that prepared me to the next step in the journey, that I might have missed if I'd stayed stuck in the sensation of being stuck and not looked at what was there. I pushed back and tried to unstick myself too forcefully sometimes and made some mistakes, but I learned and grew from them all.

Actually, I'm "stuck" where I don't want to be right now, for another 479 days, unless a miracle happens. I can focus on being stuck, or I can focus on getting ready for when I can move. Learning, gathering physical and emotional tools. making sure I'll be ready when the way opens.

Praying the way opens for you too, and that you're ready for it when it happens!

Jane Mulberry wrote:I hope you find what you want, Mariya.

Be open to opportunities, and perhaps also open to some small safe small pushbacks to what you see as your limitations. Maybe this was just me, but my experience has been that it was never the universe or other people who kept me stuck, I kept myself stuck.

Also sometimes, what I perceived as stuck was actually where I was supposed to be, there were good learning opportunities there that prepared me to the next step in the journey, that I might have missed if I'd stayed stuck in the sensation of being stuck and not looked at what was there. I pushed back and tried to unstick myself too forcefully sometimes and made some mistakes, but I learned and grew from them all.

Actually, I'm "stuck" where I don't want to be right now, for another 479 days, unless a miracle happens. I can focus on being stuck, or I can focus on getting ready for when I can move. Learning, gathering physical and emotional tools. making sure I'll be ready when the way opens.

Praying the way opens for you too, and that you're ready for it when it happens!

Beautiful! That is very wise!

"Learning, gathering physical and emotional tools. making sure I'll be ready when the way opens." 💗

Thank you, Jane. You're right, everything happens for a reason, there are days that I really feel like I'm learning things I didn't expect, then there are moments that just seem too frustrating to make sense, like finding more and more plastic in store bought foods yet being rejected by places to learn how to grow my own food at a peaceful pace.

But something within me says that it's all meant to be part of my story.

Yesterday, visited Barnes and Noble and a book really stood out to me out on the cart. It was right at the top of a stack I was passing by: "God Calling" by Arthur Joseph Russell. I was reading different parts of it and I felt like I was being spoken to through the book. That all is part of His plan or The plan, however you see determinism. It brought me a sense of expansion.

"Learning, gathering physical and emotional tools. making sure I'll be ready when the way opens."
…
But something within me says that it's all meant to be part of my story.

I think this is what may keep you sane through it! When we hold this attitude we are able to look closer and learn from our experiences rather than simply resist. “How can this help me become the person I want to be, and help the people who come after me do the same?”