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A compassionate discussion about mental health

 
gardener
Posts: 849
Location: Western Kentucky
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John, it's good that you are thinking about it. I think that's an important first step. Whether your relationship is decent or really strong, it probably wouldn't hurt to at least start doing little things to make it even stronger. If she's stopped taking in more animals, maybe make it a point to show that you noticed, and work in a veiled compliment about it. Maybe some innocuous comments about "getting old," if she's not overly sensitive to it. Like, "Remember back when we had x number of animals to take care of? How did we do that?" Or, after a long day, "Honey...we're getting old." I have found a lot of women respond well to humor, does she? Maybe joke that, "One of these days, the only old goat you'll be able to take care of is me! At least I won't pee on my beard...maybe."

I've noticed many people have epiphany moments as they age. Like when they don't want to give up driving, and then almost kill someone. I would look for those moments, and strike while the iron is hot. Try to plan ahead about what you will say, based on her personality. Be honest, and want what's best for her, and she will have a hard time disagreeing with you in the long run. Admitting your own faults can go a long way to helping her come to terms with the fact that she needs to make changes as well. Sometimes people just need to know they are not alone. Just a few thoughts.
 
pollinator
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Thanks for these responses.  I realize that such issues quite often are very personal and difficult to deal with.  What I find is that, outside of Permie-minded people, most will recommend "Sell the place and move to town!...", ignoring some of the reasoning in my earlier post as to why that would just not work.  And yet the isolation can obviously lead to some real conundrums down the road if one does not being to make some plans.  Hoping to see along the way here other's situations and approaches to solving similar problems in their lives.  Thanks!.....
 
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