I rented a 2 bedroom house in college. Was going to have a dedicated library. There were 3 people living in the house: a married couple and a single guy. Married couple moved out. Single guy lost his summer gig because he wouldnt do crap work, and had another roommate lined up in 3 months. It was only 90 days, how bad could it be?
That was 42 years ago. We got married in 1980.
Yeah: we're best friends too and our values align. But also? Our sense of humor aligns. We laugh a lot, at ourselves, the cats, the world, whatever. None of the other men I dated could make me laugh regularly! Probably part of that value thing again. But it's really important. We share a house and workspace 24/7 and have for years. We give each other solitude, laughter, and companionship every day.
County fair as kids (the livestock showing part, not the carnival part), friends for a long time, started dating during college years, married while she was in grad school.
Biggest advice is to make sure that your values align with those of the person that you date. Doesn't need to be 100% the same, but needs to be close. Wife and I both grew up involved with agriculture, both were raised as protestant Christians, both value education. And yet, even then we had disagreements about how to farm, where to go to church, and how much education to encourage our children to get
Education: "the ardent search for truth and its unselfish transmission to youth and to all those learning to think rigorously, so as to act rightly and to serve humanity better." - John Paul II
Online, playing a browser game that involved fighting other people. I was the leader of one group and he was the biggest threat in another group we were fighting, we started talking, moved countries to live with him a year later. that was 8 years ago now.
Her boss she worked for was a drinking buddy of mine at a bar I used to frequent. There was a group of us from the bar that liked to drink and gamble and had poker night regularly, and one day she came to poker night with him and then joined us regularly. We started dating soon, and after 18 months moved in together, and after living together for 8 1/2 years decided to get married. We're compatible and our relationship works, and one day after ten years together and essentially "being married" we figured we could actually get married and benefit on tax breaks and other perks that legally married couples enjoy, so we got married. We got married for less than $700, both of us feeling that elaborate weddings are not for us and an unnecessary expense. We eloped and got married on our friends farm in a cow pasture at 5:30am with fog still hanging in the air and the sun beginning to peek over the horizon. She wore a simple dress and I wore a tennessee tuxedo, aka overalls, and my ever present baseball cap. The couple that owned the farm were the witnesses to our wedding along with the person that read the vows and her husband, so six in total at our wedding. We didn't tell anyone about it and only mentioned it when people noticed the rings on our fingers. She did call her parents to tell them, who were disappointed to not have been there, but happy for us. So far, we've managed to grow together instead of grow apart.
Edit: It's important to add that we do indeed love each other very much and are also best friends, and share a lot in common, especially the desire to homestead and the goals for our small farm. Also, I forgot about the wedding photographer, there were seven of us at our wedding.
"Study books and observe nature; if they do not agree, throw away the books." ~ William A. Albrecht
I met my wife in 2007 on the Catholic dating site, Catholic Match. She seemed cute, wasn't too far away, seemed unconcerned about material issues (I had little material assets) shared my religious and spiritual values and was open to my visiting. That was July 2007 (began online messaging), followed by a face-to-face meeting in August, followed by my relocating to near her place over October/November 2007. I proposed in December and we married next March 2008.
She isn't a permaculturist, likes *having gardened* but doesn't care for the actual process (some physical issues) but has no problem with me making a mess of the backyard with my gardening adventures.
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
-J. R. R. Tolkien
1987. Grad school. Hot tub party. The tub is one of those big mobile rentals that hold a dozen people. I'm bobbing around in the center, trying to keep the water from splashing into my beer. Over on one side, a blonde nymph is receiving the standard interrogation from the Lotharios who inhabit the local bars: "heybabe, whaddayadoo inyer sparetime?" They move to the far end of the tub when she replies "I teach martial arts." Soon after, probably due to my charismatic aura, she uses her toes to snag and relocate me to a seat next to her. Conversation ensues, followed by a few weeks of lust-driven encounters, followed by the horrified realization that we've fallen hopelessly in love. The next 33 years are a blur of living in sin, marriage, caribbean honeymoon, sweaty dojos, cats, graduations and professional employment, great danes, first house, gym-rattery, professional layoffs, losing first house, gig-consulting, second house, small business ownership and professional re-employments, chickens, goats, ridiculously huge gardens, more cats and great danes, retirement and finally strategic retreat into the north woods where we can grow ancient together.
Devoured by giant spiders without benefit of legal counsel isn't called "justice" where I come from!
-Amazon Women On The Moon
I love telling our story but I will try to give the short version. She was my little sister’s college roommate and best friend. My sister tried to set the two of us up several times but we just kinda looked at each other and said no-way.
Fast forward to my sister’s wedding where I was a groomsman and she was a bridesmaid. During rehearsal I was sitting in the back of the church, bored. She walked up behind me, touched my shoulder and said “Hi Eric.” Immediate electricity. The two of us were inseparable during the weekend. I danced at the reception, and I NEVER dance. It was obvious we had chemistry. I was in love and didn’t even realize it yet.
There was a problem though.
She was a 2nd year med school student in Chicago and I was a first year teacher at the other end of the state, 6 hours away. She came to visit me. We started traveling and saw each other once every 2-3 weeks. Those were long weeks to wait, but so worth it. I would visit her over summers. Over the school years we saw each other about an average of every 2 weeks. Our entire courtship was long distance. We got married about 2.5 years after she first touched my shoulder.
Been married now 20 years. 2 houses, 2 kids, 1 dog, lots of cats. Happy.
I lived in a small city in northern Japan and kept running into my future husband, but we didn't yet share a common language and there wasn't any spark.
A few years later we ran into each other at my favorite reggae bar and the earth stood still; despite being from different cultures/continents/religions/etc it turned out we had an awful lot in common. We got married without ceremony at the city hall, which I have never regretted. Instead of dresses etc we threw a party for our friends.
25 years and 3 countries later the adventure continues... we are planning our next big move right now (I've gotten the city boy interested in farming! We're looking for land!), and our 21-year-old daughter is now pursuing her own adventures. Mission accomplished!
I was an artist managing a Pawn Shop (sounds like a joke opening), my now partner, was working there part time, along with 2 other jobs and going to college. We became friends and I was in another 15 year relationship at the time. I moved away to be a chef at one of my brothers restaurants and transferred back to a restaurant to the town of the pawnshop. I was now single, after a very sad breakup, and she found me. She asked me out. I reluctantly accepted. It turned out to be the best thing that could have ever happened. 17 years later two girls, a farm, and tons of humor ( secret to a long relationship is humor and enjoying each other’s differences).
Oh goodness! I didn't even realize Sonja had made this fantastic thread until after I'd made a poll asking the same question!
I met my husband at a young adults church group. Most of the people were only interested in small talk, but then my now-husband arrived, and he actually wanted to talk about actual things, rather than small talk. Pretty sure we chatted about oceanography, social issues, and religion. Two weeks later, we were talking about how we both wanted to live in a cabin in the woods--and here we are! (Okay, it's a manufactured home...but close enough!)
I was working down in the Silicon Valley around 1980. Because of the massive influx of engineers and programmers there was about a 2 to 1 single guy/gal ratio at church. I was a lowly tech. I met my wife at a halloween party thrown by some young adults from church. Everyone there was from that group. They had paired me up with this pretty, nice gal with long red hair (I've always been partial to long hair, particularly when it's on redheads and blonds). We were carving a jack-o-lantern and I happened to say something to this cute gal with short brown hair setting on the other side of me. I made a comment, she responded and I guess I was a jerk because I kind of forgot about the redhead. Sometimes you meet someone and know "We're going to be good friends". The balance somehow feels right. Anyway, after talking quite a while that evening, I asked her out. I was soon in hot pursuit and, given the guy/gal ratio, I kept her evenings booked from then on. I asked her to marry me a little over a month later. (I had left one night open 3 days before I asked her to marry me and she went out with another guy). Nine kids and almost 40 years later, it's still good. She's my best friend and the balance is even better.
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy, because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low, little ad
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