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Human Papillary Virus; need help/info

 
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.... are there any healthcare folks here with any info on HPV? -  'we' were diagnosed as having it 6 years ago (61/64 yrs of age) during Wife's routine (overdue) checkup; neither had/has any sort of symptom... research indicated practically everyone has it; has not been an issue until just recently (Wife suddenly announced end of physical relationship)..... need help understanding all this.... Thank You Permies....

.... Thomas
 
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I'm not sure what kind of info you're looking for, but it matters,, because medical advice is an area where we must tread very, very lightly.
 
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Maybe if the issue is a new distrust due to the diagnosis, it could help to speak with some trusted medical advisor about this very common disease. Or find a book that really speaks to the topic.  I may be reading into the original question, but if the issue is that one partner is seeing this new diagnosis as evidence of new infection and thus suspecting sexual infidelity when that is not the case, then perhaps learning more about the disease lifecycle could allay those fears.  Similarly, if it is more an issue of psychological stigma, like feeling "dirty."
 
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Thomas A. Cahan wrote: 'we' were diagnosed as having it...



Have you sought a second opinion from another healthcare professional with additional testing? Doctors make mistakes, technicians make mistakes, analytical machines can and do report false positives, errors happen everyday. While testing is for the most part considered reliable, all tests come with a sampling error rate, and no medical test is ever 100% accurate 100% of the time. I'm of the notion, and this is my opinion and beliefs, that a single positive test result requires further analysis and being able to repeat the results for me to come to reliable conclusion.

Whether a plantar wart on a foot, one on a hand or anywhere else on the body they're caused by the same virus. Raw, unfiltered apple cider vinegar is incredibly effective and reliable at ridding a person of warts, done so myself. An effective method is a small piece of a cotton ball or a piece of a q-tip for examples, saturated in apple cider vinegar and placed over the wart then held in place with a bandage for 12 hours. 12 hours on, 12 hours off, for about a week. In my experience doctor visits and liquid nitrogen never worked, it always came back. Prescription pharmaceuticals never worked, it always came back. Meanwhile, the real medicine that did give me permanent results, an actual cure, was in my cupboard the entire time.

Hope this helps!
 
Thomas A. Cahan
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... Thank You for responses... agreed re medical 'advice'; people are hypersensitive due to liability etc - such a Sad world nowadays.      :b

..... mainly looking for info from folks that have lived with this 'condition' - although it seems there are countless variants and ranges of symptoms.... Wife is retired RN, and now only employs natural cures; besides our homesteading life precludes the risk and expense of the mainstream pharmaceutical industry.

.... sorry to be vague; am reeling from this.... seems the male is blamed - although we have both had previous marriages.... not a good time/age to face such a thing....
 
Thomas A. Cahan
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.... it has not been an issue in the 6 years we have been married; just So sudden....
 
Carla Burke
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Has she come right out and SAID it is all your fault? Or are you maybe both still reeling, leaving you both overly sensitive and maybe even feeling defensive? Something to consider, as far as the age issue, is that the fastest growing population of people with new STDs (are they even still called that?) are those in nursing homes/ assisted living situations. There is no shame - or shouldn't be. Another thing to think about now, is that the damage is done. Other than restricting activity during outbreaks, herpes sufferers can still lead happy, healthy sex lives. Don't give up on her, but don't pressure her too much, either, and maybe, once the shock wears off, you'll be able to get reacquainted.

In the meantime, something to look into would be whether hpv follows the same path as most other viruses. Most viruses prefer an acid host, over an alkaline one. So, if that is also the case with hpv, finding ways to lean your body toward alkaline, rather than acid may significantly reduce apparent symptoms. I'm an herbalist, but must admit, this is not my wheelhouse, so my knowledge base is not at its strongest, in this. I may be able to help you with ways to boost your immune system, strengthen and nourish your cardiopulmonary systems and gut health, and help circumvent some autoimmune issues. But, this one, in particular, i'm really not that familiar with. I'm sorry for your struggles...

 
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Hi Thomas. This must be so distressing for you! Much kindness to both of you.

As I understand it after some quick research, there are 100 varieties of HPV . Different strains cause different types of warts: common warts, plantar warts and genital warts. If there have been no symptoms, I assuming your wife had the HPV DNA test that detected it. I don't know anything about whether specific strains are tested for or if it's just a generic HPV test.

It's possible that she recently detected a symptom in herself and is choosing to protect you from physical contact. This has been one of the most stressful years ever and I know all of us are experiencing the effects in our immune systems. I've personally had my first cold sore outbreak in years and I put that down to the pandemic stress and looking after my mum during lockdown.

It might be really helpful to seek out a counselor that deals specifically with issues like this. If there's a sexual/reproductive health clinic in your area, you might find support there. After all, even couples with AIDS can often continue their physical relationship with the right precautions.

I totally agree with everything Carla said. And I would also recommend finding the personal support you need to feel and talk this out, or whatever is helpful for you. That will help you be less reactive and more supportive with your wife as she works through her issues around this. And I do want to hold out the possibility that this can even bring you closer once you work through it.
 
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Carla Burke wrote:....Other than restricting activity during outbreaks, herpes sufferers can still lead happy, healthy sex lives.



HPV is not herpes. Herpes are HSV, not HPV. Just to be clear.

https://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm#:~:text=What%20is%20HPV%3F,late%20teens%20and%20early%2020s.
 
Thomas A. Cahan
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... Thank You to Everyone for your sincere responses.... it is difficult/impossible to even breach the subject here; there are obviously underlying factors that are involved, since my Wife's decision seems to have been made and finalized regardless of my/our futures.    

..... it would be less of an issue if I were no longer interested/able to enjoy the physical/emotional componant of a relationship; however that is most certainly not the case... the natural environment of homestead life seems to invigorate both body and soul....
 
Carla Burke
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Valerie Hird wrote:

Carla Burke wrote:....Other than restricting activity during outbreaks, herpes sufferers can still lead happy, healthy sex lives.



HPV is not herpes. Herpes are HSV, not HPV. Just to be clear.

https://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm#:~:text=What%20is%20HPV%3F,late%20teens%20and%20early%2020s.



Fully aware, thanks. I was merely seeing it out as an example.
 
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Though this is a common  disease, and one that is most often harmless, I wonder whether your use of your energies to learn more about the disease itself are misplaced. Research can be helpful to understand certain things, but I wonder how you plan to use that information. I can certainly have a tendency to try to convince my partner that what she is feeling is wrong because I don't agree with her or know how to "fix" it and wonder whether you are trying to do the same.

Whether they make sense to you or not, it seems like your wife's emotions are a very important part of this picture and deserve your attention. I would try to see if you can talk to her, perhaps with the aid of a therapist if necessary, about why she feels the way she does, leaving behind any thoughts about whether it is your fault, or trying to immediately figure out how to fix it or convince her to feel another way.
 
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Sorry to hear you are both struggling with this. Sounds like it has been quite a blow to the relationship and I am sure it must feel scary and confusing. And such a hard thing to talk about!
Perhaps focusing less on the disease and more on the feelings it is clearly bring upwould be beneficial? Particularly your wife's feelings and experience. It sounds as if there may be some distrust, perhaps hurt and shame too. Even though it is a very common disease, focusing on that might make her feel as if you are invalidating or minimizing her feelings about it. Of course, I don't know what is going on for her. I think it would behoove you to ask her and listen empathetically, if you have not done so already. Really try to understand what she is going through, without getting defensive or trying to change her feelings. Help her feel understood and cared for, regardless of whether she wants to continue the physical relationship.
A couples therapist could be of great help, I imagine, as it sounds like you both are hurting and that can make it hard to have difficult conversations in a loving way. I hope you're able to find your way back to loving each other and feeling connected.
 
Thomas A. Cahan
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.... Thank You...... Dietrick and Heather mirror the latest waves of thought/emotion I am experiencing; will let things find a relatively neutral state (if that can even be recognized from within the maelstrom) and let the heart mediate.

... Am totally unsure of protocol at this juncture; hesitate to furthur air soiled laundry - but would be remiss to not apprise the kind hearts here whether their support was effective and appropriate... can only say Thank You Permies
 
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Hi Thomas,
I sorry to hear that you and your wife are going through such a hard time.
My immediate gut feeling was that there is potentially something else at the heart of what is bothering your wife, or something which has triggered this sudden response. If it hasn’t been an issue for 6 years, and now is, well I would be trying to understand what has happened to create this change. It might be something that is very hard for your wife to talk about, or even think about, so there will need to be a lot of trust, and she may need to feel very secure that you are there to hear and support her, in order to communicate about it.
Like others here, I would recommend getting some counselling support and guidance in this. It’s hard to have perspective when you’re in the middle of something.
Seek support if you can, and keep an open mind, and heart. Best of luck I hope you guys work it out!
 
Thomas A. Cahan
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... Verdict:  Discarded - Eros delivering the coup de gras.

.... why do our hearts obscure the obvious? - better a foolish and trodden heart than one of stone.

... how to offer a heart and homestead in these times? - to give and love rather than mourn?

... perhaps there is a Someone somewhere that values conversation rather than FB during a meal - or rambling the acreage rather than days of soduko in bed... enjoys evening tea and pleasant discourse before the night's promise; and the joys of morning....

.... forgive this missive; Time to sally forth.... Onward Heart !

   
     
 
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