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The Twelve Days of Christmas: A silly permie’s thoughts

 
steward & bricolagier
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Location: SW Missouri
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If you LOVE the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas” be warned that you may not like my silly thoughts on it all....


My premise here is my True Love coming up to me and giving me this stuff, all replies my weird little attitude  :D

A partridge in a pear tree
“Oh thank you! We can plant the tree right here, and you, cute birdie, go run around, lots to eat here!”

Two turtle doves
“These are sweet, can they be left outside? No, they are domestic? Hm. Guess I need to build them a cage in the house then.”

Three french hens
“Yay!! I needed some new blood in my flock!”

Four calling birds
“Guinea hens!! Wonder if the neighbors are going to complain about the noise?”

Five golden rings
“Five rings? Um, thank you. If I wear them the birds will peck at my hands, but I bet I can sell them for enough money for a skidsteer!”

Six geese a layin'
“Oh dear, territorial and hissing, get them a nesting place built NOW, they are laying!”

Seven swans a swimmin'
“Seven?! Swans come in mated pairs, you go right back to where you got these and get the wife of that one that’s crying over there!”

Eight maids milkin'
“Excellent! And oh cool! You girls brought Jersey cows, those give A2 milk! Uh, hm. Gonna need to build them a barn. Hmm...”

Nine ladies dancin'
“Nice dancing, ladies, but I don’t really need dancers, lets send you to the kitchen and teach you to run the pressure canner.”

Ten lords a leapin'
“A bit energetic, are we? Stopped at a coffee shop? Let’s give you guys turning forks, turn this compost pile for me.”

Eleven pipers pipin'
“Uh, the piping is freaking out the birds, but you have lovely nimble fingers, here’s a bunch of berries that need picking, take them to the ladies canning when you get them done. Oh ok, you may whistle while you work.”

Twelve drummers drummin’
“Hey, you are scaring the cows! Let’s take the drums away from eleven of you... you beat a cadence for your friends here to use these shovels to dig a swale from here to there. Trade off who’s beating cadence every so often.”

My True Love looks at me “are you pleased with your Christmas gifts?” “Oh YES! The lords, pipers and drummers will be an excellent crew to put up a new barn and plant trees, the ladies are canning and making cheese, and all those birds! Plus a skidsteer! Wonder if the guys will want to build themselves tiny houses, we could have a community here! Thank you!”
 
master pollinator
Posts: 4988
Location: Canadian Prairies - Zone 3b
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Seen outside my bedroom window:

"Three ruffed grouses chowing mountain ash berries"

Not sure the meter and rhyme fit.
 
gardener
Posts: 819
Location: Ontario - Currently in Zone 4b
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If you haven't seen this one, I highly recommend it!

It's someone writing thank you letters in response to the gifts recieved each day.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2012/12/21/dear-true-love-thank-you-notes-from-the-twelve-days-of-christmas/

Here's an alternate (same content) that may work if the above link doesn't work.

https://www.denverpost.com/2012/12/24/petri-12-days-of-christmas-in-thank-you-letters/
 
gardener & hugelmaster
Posts: 3694
Location: Gulf of Mexico cajun zone 8
1970
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When you're finished with the eleven picking pipers can I borrow them? My trained monkeys still haven't arrived. Blueberry season is coming soon:)
 
steward
Posts: 1897
Location: Coastal Salish Sea area, British Columbia
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I think this one deserves to be up there

maybe a pearl and mom does 12 days of Christmas?

 
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