Weekend Homesteader

The more I visit, the more I love this website and forum. There is so much useful information on here. I'm still mostly in the process of trying to figure out how to get my wife on board with selling our house and moving into the country to start up more of a homestead lifestyle. Suggestions are welcomed.

Mostly this message is in excitement over the possibility of winning a copy of Anna Hess's "The Weekend Homesteader"!
https://permies.com/t/19059/homestead/Anna-Hess-blogger-Walden-Effect

Thank you!

Darrin --- I hear that question a lot about getting a spouse on board. My husband is thinking of adding a weekly relationship advice column to our blog --- maybe I'll add that in as one of the starter questions.

Thank you Anna, I think that sounds like a great idea!

For me the answer has been waiting. The things that are still important to me months and years down the road become more important to my spouse. If he's not on board, I'm wasting my time and piddling away my energy on what will turn to failure. Sometimes he's not on board because it doesn't interest him, but sometimes it's because I haven't thought everything through.

An inexpensive (and subtle) way to get a spouse tuned into your dream is to get a subscription to "AcresUSA" or "Motherearth News". Leave them laying around where he will see them and begin browsing. Perhaps lay them out so he sees the 4WD Polaris utility vehicle (often back cover). If one of those cute & practical things doesn't get his juices flowing you've got a problem, lol.

Or buy some real free range eggs for breakfast next weekend. Let him taste what real food tastes like.

Good luck.

After many seasons on my own, my spouse is now on board. Her hobby is canning and freezing the veggies I grow. Took some time but the longest journey starts with a single step. She is very proud of the tomatoes on the shelf in the basement and the green beans in the freezer. We are trully weekend homesteaders, longing for the day when we can do more. I read forums each day to gather information that I can use in my everyday life. Will never stop reading, Thank You All.

if you live in an urban area but have a bit of soil around, read the book Gaia's Garden by Toby Hemenway, he has a lot of useful information on getting started in a neighborhood..and no need to get a spouse on board..just do it.

spouses will appreciate you just working in the yard and not expecting her to do it for you.

once it gets interesting she may just join you and chip in..and catch the bug..let her read the book too

Cool! I have one of two of the issues. I read them to my neighbors who are just getting into homesteading. Some of it is new to me, some of it is old to me.

Darrin Goodman wrote:The more I visit, the more I love this website and forum. There is so much useful information on here. I'm still mostly in the process of trying to figure out how to get my wife on board with selling our house and moving into the country to start up more of a homestead lifestyle. Suggestions are welcomed.

Mostly this message is in excitement over the possibility of winning a copy of Anna Hess's "The Weekend Homesteader"!
https://permies.com/t/19059/homestead/Anna-Hess-blogger-Walden-Effect

Thank you!

I am not sure about how to get the spouse "on board" but I do have a few tips to help about the "not on board or over board" spouse:

- Make nice little signs and post them to label the kale and spinach in the garden. If you do not, the "over board" spouse will go out to the garden and come back with a handful of weeds rather than the kale.
- Make another little sign that says "seed bed" and place it where you don't want the "over board" spouse to stomp or else he is gonna step right smack where you planted seeds.
- Explain to the "over board" spouse, ahead of time, that the straggly, bad smelling, cigarette puffing, bourbon-on-his-breath man who is gonna show up this afternoon is the only man around with a tractor who agreed to help pull the locust logs out of the gully and so, don't call the police.
- Email the spouse web site links about things that will interest them. Don't just send 'em links about how much work there is to do. Pick some web sites that show pretty pictures of the "end" results.
- Make a really nice outdoor shower complete with curtains, baskets for soap, a seat, two shower heads, nice lotions and a good view. Invite the spouse for a shower now and then.

I up and moved to our Homestead (almost eleven years ago) bringing our three children along. My "over board" spouse was a "weekend homesteader" for ten years till he moved up here full time last year. He worked in another state and was on the Homestead only Friday to Sundays for years. If I had it to over again, and learn from my mis-steps, I would concentrate more on the positive "end" type results and less on the hard work needed to get there. For example, offer more fresh tomatoes or outdoor showers or watching sunsets. It seems like an incentive - something positive - would work best.

Good luck.

Darrin Goodman wrote:The more I visit, the more I love this website and forum. There is so much useful information on here. I'm still mostly in the process of trying to figure out how to get my wife on board with selling our house and moving into the country to start up more of a homestead lifestyle. Suggestions are welcomed.

Mostly this message is in excitement over the possibility of winning a copy of Anna Hess's "The Weekend Homesteader"!
https://permies.com/t/19059/homestead/Anna-Hess-blogger-Walden-Effect

Thank you!

I have been working on my husband for a year or two now. He is finally getting excited at the prospect of purchasing land and letting me have at it. He has been really supportive at helping (okay, doing it for me!) me build raised bed gardens this year. It's baby steps for us!

Week-end escapes to small rental cabins in the woods did the trick for me. We would leave urban USA for a week-end every few months, hike, sit, enjoy the peace and at the same time, I kept adding another small bed to my urban garden sending hubby out for pick whatever for dinner. Within a couple short years, the idea of combining our cabin escapes with more room to garden was perfectly natural. We spent a couple more years searching for affordable land and the rest is happy history.

I dreamed of disappearing into the wilderness and building a cabin, and I went to school to learn animal husbandry.

I fell madly in love with a man who was seeking a degree in City and Regional planning, and his dream was to watch cities grow.

This has led to much deep thought and honest discussions!

The upshot of it was, he looked for jobs in smaller cities, and we live on the edge of the city where he works. I own 5 acres west of here that I can work, and he drives East to his job. And, we chose this house on the edge of a city because it has a HONKIN' big back yard! Not to mention only being 1 mile to the interstate so DH can get to work easily. That way I can have my home made green house and DH has his city.

Basically, we found out what the other valued the most, and we made sure they got it. What does your wife love the most about city living? See if you can get it for her while in the country.

I'm late to the game, and I can't say that I've ever actively tried to ‘convert’ my husband, but I agree with what has been said about targeting what interests your spouse.

My husband (1) loves food, and (2) having a well-stocked pantry makes him feel secure, so when I started making jams, chutneys and whatnot, and stocking our pantry with them, he got excited about what we could have in the pantry next year. While he initially agreed to a largeish (for the suburbs) yard if I took care of the gardening, he got a lot more involved after a summer of being able to walk out the door and pick his lunch. When it turned out to taste so much better freshly picked and organic, he became even more on board. Since he's financially-minded and we're both freelancing, the idea of saving money and being prepared for not having enough work added interest. And, it really went from there. Soon enough he was completely on board.

Now, I tell him that I've identified that shrub that is currently in flower everywhere (gorse) and his first question is "Can we eat it?" (the answer, apparently, is yes - we made cordial) and the second is "Can we grow it?" That's the man who didn't want a yard when we bought a house in the suburbs 7 years ago. These days we'll be eating guacamole and he'll turn to me and ask "Avocados... can we grow them this far north?"

I don't take much of the credit... when we first started dating he dreamed of getting a cabin in the very north of Sweden far away from people. Him getting excited about my dream of the French country-side and making it his own wasn't hugely unlikely. But, he probably wouldn't have gotten there if he hadn't seen time and again how it related to his interests, and to him this is, simply put, a money-saving, pantry-stocking (i.e. security-producing), highly delicious project.