• Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic

Geeky joke  RSS feed

 
Adrien Lapointe
steward
Posts: 3422
Location: Kingston, Canada (USDA zone 5a)
201
chicken dog food preservation forest garden fungi tiny house toxin-ectomy trees woodworking
 
Burra Maluca
Mother Tree
Posts: 9895
Location: Portugal
894
bee bike books duck forest garden greening the desert solar trees wofati
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Mom's speak a much lower level language, with our own, unique syntax.

Your logic does not apply!

 
Adrien Lapointe
steward
Posts: 3422
Location: Kingston, Canada (USDA zone 5a)
201
chicken dog food preservation forest garden fungi tiny house toxin-ectomy trees woodworking
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
That made me laugh this morning
 
Cj Sloane
pollinator
Posts: 3729
Location: Vermont, off grid for 24 years!
86
bee books chicken dog duck fungi solar trees
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I'm a mom who programs and I have kids that don't. Insane miscommunication abounds!
 
Jennifer Wadsworth
Posts: 2679
Location: Phoenix, AZ (9b)
174
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Well OBVIOUSLY!

I can just see the programmer checking to see if they had eggs before making the decision on how much milk to buy...
 
John Polk
steward
Posts: 8019
Location: Currently in Lake Stevens, WA. Home in Spokane
289
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Kind of like the oldie:
"See that nail? When I nod my head, hit it it with the hammer."

 
Sam Barber
Posts: 641
Location: Missoula Mt
41
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Two chemists walk into a bar.
First Chemist: I'll have some H2O
Second Chemist I'll have some H2O too!
the second chemist died.
 
Adrien Lapointe
steward
Posts: 3422
Location: Kingston, Canada (USDA zone 5a)
201
chicken dog food preservation forest garden fungi tiny house toxin-ectomy trees woodworking
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Geez! I almost choked on my lunch and died too...
 
Sam Barber
Posts: 641
Location: Missoula Mt
41
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Have you heard the one about the sick chemist? If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you'll probably have to barium.
 
Adrien Lapointe
steward
Posts: 3422
Location: Kingston, Canada (USDA zone 5a)
201
chicken dog food preservation forest garden fungi tiny house toxin-ectomy trees woodworking
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
An electrical, a mechanical and a computer engineer are sitting in a car that does not want to start and they argue on what to do. The electrical engineer suggests that they clean the battery terminals and the mechanical engineer wants to check the spark plugs. Then the computer engineer suggests that they should all get out of the car, get back in and try to start the car again!
 
Burra Maluca
Mother Tree
Posts: 9895
Location: Portugal
894
bee bike books duck forest garden greening the desert solar trees wofati
  • Likes 3
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
 
John Polk
steward
Posts: 8019
Location: Currently in Lake Stevens, WA. Home in Spokane
289
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those that understand binary, and those that don't.

 
Michael Cox
Posts: 1659
Location: Kent, UK - Zone 8
54
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Or one of my dad's favourites:

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician....

..... he worked it out with a pencil."

Unfortunately I seem to have turned into my father and now tell this one to my maths classes.
 
Burra Maluca
Mother Tree
Posts: 9895
Location: Portugal
894
bee bike books duck forest garden greening the desert solar trees wofati
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
My son and I have been playing with infinite series, using imaginary cookies in a cut-it-in-half and share-it-out exercise. So if, say, you have two cookies and share them with three people, you cut the two cookies in half, give one half to each person, and have a half left over. Then you cut the half-cookie in half and have two half-half-cookies, which isn't enough to share, so you cut the half-halfs in half, and so on ad infinitum. It makes a pattern, and the pattern varies according to the number of cookies you start off with and how many people want a share. Of course, your cookies end up kinda disintegrated. Or is that differentiated...

The page we were working on had a basic program to illustrate the pattern formation. It looked like this...

10 c=0
20 INPUT T
30 INPUT B
40 PRINT INT(T/B);
50 n = T - B*INT(T/B)
60 n = n*2
70 c = c + 1
80 IF c>10 THEN STOP
90 IF n>B THEN GOTO 110
100 n<=B THEN GOTO 150
110 x = 1
120 PRINT x;
130 n = n - B
140 GOTO 60
150 x = 0
160 PRINT x;
170 GOTO 60
180 end

I'm a bit allergic to code, so I got him to talk me through it.

"What does that T and B stand for?" I asked, innocently.

"Total Biscuit!" He answered, without a moment's hesitation.

Bloody smart-arse...
 
wayne stephen
steward
Posts: 1793
Location: Western Kentucky-Climate Unpredictable Zone 6b
104
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Q: “How many Q’s does it take to change a Lightbulb ?”
A: “Here, now, Wouldn’t you rather have this Super-Nova ?”

 
Sam Barber
Posts: 641
Location: Missoula Mt
41
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender "How much for a drink?"
The bartender replies, "For you, No Charge."
 
Sam Barber
Posts: 641
Location: Missoula Mt
41
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
The optimist sees the glass half full, The pessimist sees the glass as half empty, The engineer sees the glass as twice as big as it needs to be.
 
Burra Maluca
Mother Tree
Posts: 9895
Location: Portugal
894
bee bike books duck forest garden greening the desert solar trees wofati
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Sam Barber wrote:The optimist sees the glass half full, The pessimist sees the glass as half empty, The engineer sees the glass as twice as big as it needs to be.


The opportunist sees the glass, drinks it and says "Thankyou very much. That was delicious."
 
John Polk
steward
Posts: 8019
Location: Currently in Lake Stevens, WA. Home in Spokane
289
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I answer the question "The glass is full. Half full of liquid, half full of air."

 
Sam Barber
Posts: 641
Location: Missoula Mt
41
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
A new monk shows up at a monastery where the monks spend their time making copies of ancient books. The new monk goes to the basement of the monastery saying he wants to make copies of the originals rather than of others' copies so as to avoid duplicating errors they might have made. Several hours later the monks, wondering where their new friend is, find him crying in the basement. They ask him what is wrong and he says "the word is CELEBRATE, not CELIBATE!"
 
He's dead Jim. Grab his tricorder. I'll get his wallet and this tiny ad:
FT Position Available: Affiliate Manager Who Loves Permaculture & Homesteading
https://permies.com/t/69742/FT-Position-Affiliate-Manager-Loves
  • Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic
Boost this thread!