Are hobbies dead?

Thinking about all of this reminds me of when--for a little under a year--I worked for Paul as his assistant. Permies was my hobby. Moderating and posting content was my hobby and my way of feeding my soul and having community. I'd watched a lot of his previous assistants burn out, and I think a lot of that might have been from turning their hobby into their job.

What I did was differentiate my permies work time from my permies hobby/moderating time. If I was on permies before a certain time, it was hobby/volunteer. After a certain hour, it was paid work.

I still got a little burnt out. I'm not as active on permies as I used to be--part of that is that I'm spending a lot of time homeschooling and teaching at a homeschool co-op. But, I think the boundaries I made while working for permies really helped me to keep the hobby-portion of permies alive. Unlike many assistants before, I didn't burn out. And, I like to think I set a good example with those that came after me, as many did not burn out and leave permies.

I also need to keep all of this in mind now, too, as I'm teaching so much more. Historical research and crafts are my passion. And, now I'm teaching those things. My hobbies and paid work are meshing again, and I don't want to burn out or breed resentment. I do have a lot of other hobbies than just history (books! drawing! painting! knitting!). But, I think I struggle the most with just letting myself enjoy a hobby. I tend to want to require a *reason* to learn or do something. I make things for people as gifts or make things I need for the house, or make things to get SKIP badge. But, I think the thing that keeps those as hobbies is that they aren't required. I don't have to make people gifts--I could buy them instead. I don't have to make things for the house--I could do without or buy it. I don't have to do SKIP badges. But, I can do them if I want, and that brings the freedom and joy back into the hobby, I think.

Some random thoughts that are entwined with this concept:

1. Can you separate the time and money you put into creating something beautiful, with the fact that once you have 10 beautiful things, you have no place to put the 11th?

-I think I've tried to make useful things with my hobbies in the past, so that I could justify their footprint. Literally in the case of making rag rugs which still are used in my house.
-I want to make some garden art and trellises because there are lots of places they could live outside and I would love that they are beautiful as well as being supportive of plants.

2. My mother and my middle sister both made the shag hooked rugs when that was the "in" thing. They were not from kits, but actual works of art, at least 2 were inspired by famous painters. They have both passed and my eldest sister is still struggling with what to do with these wall hangings. She doesn't want things that were made by family to go to strangers that might not appreciate them.

3. I think when my middle sister decided she didn't want to be making "crafts" that she had no place to put and that no one appreciated the value of, that she wanted her next hobby not to have that problem. Is it possible to find a hobby that doesn't have an "end product"?

- I think that's why she started building picture puzzles - almost all second hand, all got passed on to other people or the thrift shop when she was done.

An interesting take on what hobbies mean to a person born in the 21st century.  

It shocked me to realize that we are now entering a time when adults in society are younger than youtube.   As someone older than the internet, I am feeling a wind blowing through the generation gap.  But it's also really neat to see what comes of it.

To get back to the clickbait thread title: are hobbies dead.  I can't help but wonder if the definition and goal of "hobby" is no longer the same among different groups of people.

The idea that "hobby" means something different based on your age or generation is interesting. I hope to remember to chat about this with my 23-year-old daughter when she gets home from work. If anything interesting comes out of that, I'll come back and report on it.

But the main point of that video seems to be analyzing the line between over-consumption and collecting as a hobby, which sets up a false dichotomy, I think. I think they aren't endpoints on a spectrum, but distinct spectra. Also, an interesting difference between the two is who I think assigns the moniker. Like, if you collect some consumer item, it's up to you whether that's a hobby. If you say it is, it is -- I don't feel like I get an opinion. But I *do* get to judge you for over-consumption if it feels like that's what you're doing to me.

I wondering if a broad definition for hobby might be: "Something you do because you enjoy it."

Maybe you enjoy it because it allows you to make things for others that they will enjoy.

Maybe you enjoy it because it results in something you will get to use, like food you grew, or a chair you made, or scarf you knitted

Maybe you enjoy it because you like looking at it, like things you collected, or a mural you painted, or a sculpture you made.

Maybe you enjoy it just because it's fun, like reading books, writing poems, doodling

Our brains are silly things. Sometimes, mine can't enjoy doing something unless I know it's useful. I might not needle-felt a dragon for myself (I still haven't!), but I can make them for friends and family and feel justified in spending my time on something that is naturally fun to do.

The guilt of not-being productive can ruin the enjoyment of a hobby. We can get around that with a bunch of mental tricks:

If we make money with the hobby

If we use it to help others

If we use it to make our lives better

If we collect useful things (oil lamps and candles are useful! Do I need 30 oil lamps?....no.... Marbles and dice are useful for playing board games....do I need pouches full of them? Probably not....)

I think the key is to make sure that, whatever mental tricks you might need to play to justify doing something fun, those mental tricks don't end up destroying the enjoyment.

We need to check ourselves and our motivations sometimes. Maybe we got so caught up in selling our hobby to justify it, that we no longer enjoy the hobby? Maybe it's time to cut back on the selling. Maybe we got so caught up in feeling like we needed to make all our family members scarves for Christmas that we're now way too stressed? Maybe it's time to allow for other gift ideas and not feel like we need to make them all.

On a lighter note, dead, and mostly dead hobbies

This video hits me hard.  I don't enjoy the hobbies which once took my mind off of pain, tragedy and other things due to harsh judgments and the need to monetize to make ends meet.

I'm working very hard to avoid monetizing painting.   But more and more people suggest I should sell my art at such and such a place.

People that should know better as they know putting money and art together would destroy the benifits to my health I get from painting.  It works because art is something I create without a secondary purpose.

But other people are starting to suggest this.  The person at the framing shop where I took a practice chicken painting for advise.  And the one in line who also saw this.  And other students in art class and...

My normal response is "thanks, but no.  It was very kind of you to say."

Unfortunately it doesn't always end the conversation. A conversation they feel is kindness, but it brings up all sorts of trauma I am not in the mood to deal with.  

I want to change my reply to kindly say "sure.  Put your money where your mouth is and buy this painting for what it is worth and if that fistfull of cash is large enough, I'll approach the caffee/museum/studio/school/gallery you suggest and see if they want to sell my work.  But they won't want to if I have no history of selling.  And history of selling  for a decent price.  So it's up to you if my art goes into this fancy place you suggested.  Not me."

Only i don't know how to say that in a way that won't make me look like a total bitch.  

And although there are people I enjoy painting for, my focus is to improve my skills for the next fee years.  Maybe when I feel I am good enough, I might.  Maybe.

Edits in italics to change the tone...

r ranson wrote: I want to change my reply to kindly say, "Wow, thank you. Unfortunately, most places will insist I have a history of selling at a genuine profit.

Which of these paintings are you willing to buy, and what is your offer? You could be the first person to actually make this long term goal achievable.

Although there are people I enjoy painting for, my focus is to improve my skills for the next few years.  Maybe when I feel I am good enough, I might.  Maybe.

That definitely sounds less bitchy to my ears.  

I've had friends ask to buy my art, or say I should sell it. I usually awkwardly ramble about how I don't want to charge my friends the amount my art should cost. I'd rather make something for them as a gift, than make them spend over $100 on something.

I struggle a lot with the things I make. The dragons and fairies are wonderful natural toys for kids. And, as someone who has kids--and knows how expensive the non-toxic toys are--I feel really guilty charging a reasonable amount for them. I want kids to have non-toxic toys, and sadly most non-toxic toys are super expensive. So, part of me just wants to list them at a little over material price so people can afford them. But, I just don't have lots of extra time right now. I can't spend hours making tons of toys for other people's kids, because I'll be neglecting my own kids and my students (and my house). It's all sorts of complicated.

In summary, I find it a lot more fulfilling to make things as gifts, and only sell enough to buy more materials--and to keep those projects more fun and less stressful. I've raised prices on a lot of my stuff so I get less orders, and increased wait times, and I purposefully don't bump my digital market threads so I don't end up with too many orders.

r ranson wrote:I'm working very hard to avoid monetizing painting.   But more and more people suggest I should sell my art at such and such a place.

People that should know better as they know putting money and art together would destroy the benifits to my health I get from painting.  It works because art is something I create without a secondary purpose.

But other people are starting to suggest this.  The person at the framing shop where I took a practice chicken painting for advise.  And the one in line who also saw this.  And other students in art class and...

My normal response is "thanks, but no.  It was very kind of you to say."

Unfortunately it doesn't always end the conversation. A conversation they feel is kindness, but it brings up all sorts of trauma I am not in the mood to deal with.  

I want to change my reply to kindly say "sure.  Put your money where your mouth is and buy this painting for what it is worth and if that fistfull of cash is large enough, I'll approach the caffee/museum/studio/school/gallery you suggest and see if they want to sell my work.  But they won't want to if I have no history of selling.  And history of selling  for a decent price.  So it's up to you if my art goes into this fancy place you suggested.  Not me."

Only i don't know how to say that in a way that won't make me look like a total bitch.  

And although there are people I enjoy painting for, my focus is to improve my skills for the next fee years.  Maybe when I feel I am good enough, I might.  Maybe.

What you are saying is so true.  Especially the part about a history of sales (and at a decent price).  I had one chance to maybe make a living out of art.  Tragedy ripped that away.  I've just been using art to suppress sadness lately.  Only a few people ever volunteered to buy my art.  Found out they were scammers.  Other people will ask: "Who are you again?" or some variation.

https://www.timescolonist.com/life/tips-on-stepping-back-from-screens-and-starting-a-new-hobby-11207598

A guide in the local-ish to me newspaper for how to find a hobby. Because they feel their audience is so screen addicted that they don't know how to start finding a hobby.  Also assumes that hobbies are incompatible with computer and screen time.