posted 2 weeks ago
A lot of my feelings have been reflected in other posts. I won't bother repeating what's been said before, but wanted to add that there are women out there having a similar experience to yours, and wanting the same things you want. For whatever reasons, we have have a hard time finding a romantic partner with matching values even when we immerse ourselves in things that express and explore those values as you have.
Some believe it's karma; and that can provide a comforting sense of knowing; but who knows if they're right. I know it's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person, and take great comfort in that as I head into old age on my own- and with a lot less experience and know how than you as I try to create a homestead in my fifties.
I don't consider all my past romantic relationships failures. Some were failures until they ended. Others turned into friendships and were great successes even if we drifted apart. I think the only failure is when we know someone isn't right for us and we stay rather than be alone or deal with the confrontation and mess that a break up entails and so let ourselves go numb. I'm guilty of that.
While I think it's important you not compromise on core values, that doesn't mean you can't explore a relationship with someone who doesn't check all your boxes. Just let them know things won't be moving past friendship if they don't understand your perspective- and both of you must be willing to compromise. For some women wearing makeup is artistic expression, and they are not right for you (although there is non toxic makeup and some women make their own from natural products, these women will probably want to be appreciated for their glamour). Other women feel they are not taken seriously or found attractive without makeup. They would love to know their man actually hates it and it would give them the courage to face society with a naked face if they knew their man had their back. They have other women policing them, friends and sisters telling them they need it and it makes many of us insecure and confused about what men like.
I know a few women who don't smoke anything or drink alcohol but allow their man to do it outside the house on the porch. When the right man came along, it was a compromise they didn't mind making. When the chemistry is there, sometimes a few things can be more negotiable... or not.
My advice on this and most things is to just stay open. You never know where life will take you, and who or what will turn up when.
More advice- do yoga! So many women who are dedicated to a yoga practice long for a man to join them who doesn't drink or smoke or pollute his body and would support them with a permaculture produced bounty of food and clean living!!! and you are the unicorn they have been dreaming about!
and a little more advice- get a dog if you don't already have one. It seems to me like way more women want dogs in their life than men. If you want to get attention from random women, just walk your dog. Walk your dog past the yoga studio. Walk your three legged, one eared rescue dog past the yoga studio- clean living women who want a homesteading lifestyle will think you are the compassionate man of their dreams. I know- dogs are a pain in the ass and can be dangerous. But most chicks like dogs these days, especially the all natural, living off the land types.
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