Hi Ender,
Because society has been around for so long as a mainstream influence, you cannot just expect to have a clear path for yourself at 18 to take care of yourself, without someone projecting their past unto you. Just like any kind of attack, there is a process of learning to defend yourself well. Running away from your own defense is also a trigger for others to seek to defend you and take ownership over you as a tribe 'elder'. Those ownership and so called leadership values are very common throughout the community world and anywhere else I'm afraid.
I'm myself in the process of forming an
answer to this issue, by making a community formed on at least social expectations as possible. Where free and wanting to be free people can live without papers and rules from top down. It is not forming in the US, but it is in America down south in Chile. My idea is in the community forum list. The basic plan is to start from nothing and have only true
freedom people live there with their own plan and self development (in healthy ways). 'Leadership is decided on whether or not there is a connection between people that is naturally there without having to talk or share with other in any kind of ritualistic or routine fashion. As long as a person is connected that way, peaceful, not addicted to any major distractions and not aggressive or too damaged spiritually, they are welcome to live by their own rules. We would only need to see your picture and get a sense of how much space you want.
We are planning on buying 1 or 2 hectares close to a natural reservation. People from all over the world would be invited over time to come help out, but the same rules apply to them. It should be an calm place for people to find their center and only reason from that point outward over time as to not attract the artificial world you mentioned.
This might not be exactly what you are looking for right now, because you want to join an active community if I understand correctly. But when you are young and thinking to be able to get your own space to be free, over time people will
project on you for turning your back at your own abilities to overcome them. This is just
common sense, but good to hear from people a bit older then yourself. Next month I turn 34 and I have a month old baby. When I was 18 I wanted to escape society too, and it SHOULD be possible, were it not for a major
energy system in place to
feed of your good intentions. Of
course you are aware of this system already, but resisting them requires to understand many principles that I would offer upfront and not spread them out in 'getting to know you period while you are working for me'... I would test your intelligence to protect my area on where multiple people should feel welcome to be on their own, but together as well.
I'm sure you understand somewhat of what I mean.
Good luck in any scenario!
Greetings,
Greg