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My upstairs neighbor has a teething child.  RSS feed

 
gardener
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Location: Issaquah, WA
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I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside

But I find myself unable to think happy thoughts. Nature doesn't give neighbors hormones that make us love the little bawling shits. It triggers murderous rage instead. I haven't felt this irrationally angry at something since the last time I caught my headphone cord on the door knob and it pulled them out of my ear. Fun fact... Nature prevents you from blocking out the sound of a crying baby. I have been genetically programmed to pick baby wails out of a stream of 120 decibel noise.

I am venting... but I hope I don't have to put up with this noise for several days per tooth.(Thats what the internet said).

 
pollinator
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You have my sympathy!

It brings back memories of when the other half of our former duplex was inhabited by a daycare.  I had to stay home a couple weeks recovering from surgery.  No escape from the tantrums on the other side of the wall every day at naptime.  

Earplugs may help shave a few decibels off...I wish you the best as you attempt to hang on to your sanity­čśľ
 
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Even the hormones don't save you. In my case, the sound of my baby crying turned off all rational thought. I HAD to hold the baby. I HAD to do whatever I could to stop them from crying. I could not let anyone else hold the baby. I would not be able to cook dinner or clean or take a shower or get dressed or anything if the baby was crying. I HAD to hold the baby. I would literally drop whatever I was doing, run across the house, and snag the baby from my husband's arms before I even realized what I was doing.  

People would tell me to put the baby down and do what I had to do (clean, cook, get dressed, take a break, whatever). I could not. I had a colicky son, so for 4 months all I did was carry him, pacing and singing and doing whatever I could to help him not cry so hard.

The anger hormones were also in the background, just like for you. If I didn't embrace the MUST-HOLD-BABY hormones, I probably would have done some horrible things. Postpardum depression didn't help, either.

Even now that my youngest is 2, my brain STILL turns off if she cries. I run around like a chicken with it's head cut off until I can hold her.

The weird thing is, before I had kids, I spent years working with babies and preschoolers, and the crying never bothered me. I mean, I would respond and help them, of course, but it didn't mess with my ability to think straight and it didn't really stress me out. Now I'm totally disabled by it. Thanks, hormones.
 
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Maybe you could offer the mother some clove oil.

Last time I went to the Dr. to get a prescription refilled there was a young mother with a crying baby.  I wished I had some to offer her.
 
pollinator
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My child was colicky but he did not cry - he screamed. I now have a grandchild. I do not stick around when he is in a fussy mood. I won't let his mom leave him with me alone but insist my partner be here so that i can leave if the baby cries continually; the crying doesn't make me angry but it unnerves me. I had enough 'ineffectual to do anything about an unhappy baby' with my kid and though my nervous system has recovered quite a bit, still not to my before-baby placidity level.
That said Bill Crim, you and I and Nicole Alderman could probably all use some help to calm our nervous systems and release at least some of what causes us to react so extremely. I've done quite a bit of inquiry and car alarms, barking dogs, and my partners snoring no longer set me off. Here is a video by Lynn Fraser about cooling anger. For Nicole, it might be anxiety. Lynn Fraser has lots of good videos.
 
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Bill Crim wrote:
I am venting... but I hope I don't have to put up with this noise for several days per tooth.(Thats what the internet said).



Can you get some headphones/earbuds and lose yourself in some music or a movie/series? If it is bad late night maybe some ear plugs would help.

I do sympathize -- crying kids drive me nuts. If there is one at the grocery store I can't get out of there fast enough.
 
pollinator
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I have to say crying babies/children don't bother me. They are just children. I feel sorry for them as they are so unhappy. Adults I have much less patience with.
 
Bill Crim
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Lucrecia Anderson wrote:Can you get some headphones/earbuds and lose yourself in some music or a movie/series? Maybe even spring for an old school transistor radio (great for power outages too) and use that to listen to talk radio or whatever.


I was trying to drown out the noise by playing a video game with headphones; the over-the-ear kind. However, in quiet periods of the game I could still make out the faint cries. If they were "I am a brat" cries, then I could ignore them. The baby is legit in pain, and sounds like it. I would try to help, since I do know the neighbor a bit, but I don't want to embarrass her by saying "I hear your baby is teething, here are suggestions!" She would feel mortified if she thought she was disturbing her neighbors.

So I think the only socially acceptable solution to this is to simply suck it up and pretend it isn't happening.
 
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