What do you do for joy and why is it important?

I just watched a TED talk about rats, joy, and why we need to put more focus in our lives on positive emotions.



I certainly see anticipatory behaviors in my ducks and geese. I personally, don't doubt that animals feel emotion.

I found the bit about how the rats seemed to prefer to "work" for their reward, vs just being given it, and I've read similar thoughts about how charity benefits the emotional health of the "giver", but actually harms the emotional health of the "receiver" (at least in most situations - emergency disaster relief could be an exception, but I know once that crisis stage is over, I would much prefer to assist in some way with the recovery of my community vs just passively accepting what others think I need. )

I can remember reading a comment from a tech giant claiming that once robots take over, everyone will have everything they need. I think that's publicity, rather than reality, myself. It may take away my joy of growing my own veggies and being surprised when some volunteer plant shows up. When I accomplish a sewing project, even if it was long and tedious, I am not convinced what I'm feeling is exactly "pride" , but rather happiness that I started something, stuck with it, and accomplished it.

So if permies are feeling a bit down from some of the horrible winter weather we're having, in may not be anti-depression herbs you need, but some pro-joy project, or activity, ideally involving other animals (that includes human animals.)

This research seems very important to us permies. No need to justify our work with fear-based rationale such as apocalypse, food shortage, economic collapse.… Working in the garden is fun and joyful!
Right now, I’m creating a strawberry bed with 40 plants. It will take 2 years, much care and protection from hungry predators for these plants to produce. The effort is considerable.
Four pounds of cleaned, trimmed, individually frozen strawberries cost about $12 at the local warehouse store. I buy 6 bags of these organic berries per year ($72). Why would I create this garden when I can easily have the berries on my table with a visit to the store once every 2 months?
From now on, I will simply respond, JOY!

This whole permie/homestead is a huge thing I so for fulfillment, as much as anything else. The critters bring me joy. Every harvest, no matter how small brings a measure of joy. But, the critters, the gardens, the land, the buildings... they're also a LOT of work, and often, as is the norm, in farm life, they can leave me bereft.

So, my joy comes from my faith, singing in our church choir, visiting with our kids & their families, my friends, and my maaaany artsy/ craftsy endeavors. As far as why these things bring me joy... They fill & heal my soul.

I have a monthly tabletop gaming meetup with a few coworkers and friends that has been a lot of fun recently. We commit to finding a date and time that works for the majority of people and make the effort to get together.

Some food, some games and some time to just relax really pays dividends for the following days. We will have conversations leading up to the day discussing what we should do and then just make it a good time.

Sometimes we have kiddos running around, other times we make an effort for just the grownups to meet up.

It is one of the better things this introvert has started to do to help push off the winter blues.

Timothy Norton wrote: It is one of the better things this introvert has started to do to help push off the winter blues.

I get the impression,  that introverts do better when there's "a plan". Certainly the introverts I live with struggle with "small talk" and neither of them drink tea, so the idea of tea and small talk is totally terrifying!

Positive thinking ...

I have to be out in Nature. Not just a 'local park' but IN Nature.  Surrounded by trees, sounds of birds & other critters, a river/creek/brook trickling near by.  We have a few nice parks with that to varying sizes.  But if I could actually get OUT in Nature everyday, just walk out my door and all is see are trees, mountains, and fields of flowers that is my joy.

Mother Earth is the only place I KNOW I heal.  So being outside is my home, my space of safety.  I take what I can now, the larger 'foresty' parks, until I can get my own bit of paradise to call home.  --Tess

Have a very similar mindset...but call it navigating by joy.

I DEFINITELY make a distinction between  happy and  joy.

The easiest way to describe the distinction is that I don't think I could be happy in a prison camp; but I could feel joy.

Because I can observe nature. I can watch an ant do its thing, and be joyful. Even in a prison camp.

Joy feels like helium for your backpack.

I've learned if you seek joy each day, it's much harder to get stuck in unhealthy thinking.

So probably for a lot of us, nature=joy (even if being in it is difficult)

Joy and curiosity are in a positive feedback loop.

It's much easier to  be your best self when you're seeking and experiencing joy.

The other cool thing with joy vs happiness:

you can be with someone who is really suffering or in deep grief and go right back to your joy when you've been there for them.

Maybe not so for happiness, at least for me.

Hope this helps.

If someone tells me a poet already wrote exactly this, I would laugh and say: Well.....I studied engineering; not English, and that may have stunted my spiritual growth for awhile...

But I am pleased to be in this spot and thank Jon Kabat Zin, Michael Singer, Don Miguel Ruiz, Rumi and many others to help me along my path to peace.

I do describe the book 'Untethered Soul' as a flashlight to help you find the path to peace (and eventually joy too)

Wishing you abundant joy!

-JP

Carla Burke wrote:This whole permie/homestead is a huge thing I so for fulfillment, as much as anything else. The critters bring me joy. Every harvest, no matter how small brings a measure of joy. But, the critters, the gardens, the land, the buildings... they're also a LOT of work, and often, as is the norm, in farm life, they can leave me bereft.

So, my joy comes from my faith, singing in our church choir, visiting with our kids & their families, my friends, and my maaaany artsy/ craftsy endeavors. As far as why these things bring me joy... They fill & heal my soul.

That is so beautifully worded Carla, thank you!

J.P. Waters wrote:Have a very similar mindset...but call it navigating by joy.

I DEFINITELY make a distinction between  happy and  joy.

The easiest way to describe the distinction is that I don't think I could be happy in a prison camp; but I could feel joy.

Because I can observe nature. I can watch an ant do its thing, and be joyful. Even in a prison camp.

Joy feels like helium for your backpack.

I've learned if you seek joy each day, it's much harder to get stuck in unhealthy thinking.

So probably for a lot of us, nature=joy (even if being in it is difficult)

Joy and curiosity are in a positive feedback loop.

It's much easier to  be your best self when you're seeking and experiencing joy.

The other cool thing, is joy vs happiness.

Is that you can be with someone who is really suffering or in deep grief and go right back to your joy when you've been there for them.

Maybe not so for happiness, at least for me.

Hope this helps.

If someone tells me a poet already wrote exactly this, I would laugh and say: Well.....I studied engineering; not English, and that may have stunted my spiritual growth for awhile...

But I am pleased to be in this spot and thank Jon Kabat Zin, Michael Singer, Don Miguel Ruiz, Rumi and many others to help me along my path to peace.

I do describe the book 'Untethered Soul' as a flashlight to help you find the path to peace (and eventually joy too)

Wishing you abundant joy!

-JP

JP, love this distinction!!  Resonates deeply with me, as I'm sure many others.  I am able to find joy, even if I can't feel happiness at a given moment or within a circumstance.  Joy is so necessary in life, but happiness can be fleeting.  Joy is like a statement we make even if we can't feel happiness.  And, for me, it seems to stay with me longer.  If that makes any sense.  I got the book Untethered Soul and look forward to reading it, it was recommended by my daughter.

I will check out the other authors you mentioned, as I have heard of them (even read a book or two from them).  --Tess

In some ways, the wife and I live the Maine dream at least, which is in living on an island, off from another island, with views of the ocean in every window, even the laundry room. But here is the thing no one tells you about coastal life: after about a month, you get used to the views and think nothing of them.

But yesterday as I was working outside doing some carpentry, the apricity was high (the warmth of the sun in winter making it feel warmer than it really is), the seagulls were cawing, the deer were looking to be fed, and the boats were out in the harbor, and I realized where I was and what I was doing.

It was nice.

Normally I find joy in writing, but my wife pushes me regarding it. The first words upon waking is: “How many words did you write today?” It’s nice that she takes an interest, but she also guilts me into high word counts and it robs my joy of the hobby.

I have not written lately. There has just been too many distractions as I look around my half-completed kitchen and realized how, when, and where I will get them all done. If I could just redo an ending for my latest book I will have completed my 19th novel, but in a few weeks I will get back to writing. I am sure of it.

And yes, for those that remember the Permies novel I was working on. Yes, I did finish it.

Picture is crappy since our windows have window screens but taken from my recliner.

The book I wrote about Permies living might be interesting. It starts with a permie man who hears surveyors driving in stakes on his farm who inform him he is losing his farm by eminent domain. In anger he punches the surveyor and ends up in jail. A mother/wife/lawyer ends up taking him as a pro bono case and defends him and the potential loss of his farm.

She resonates because her middle daughter is struggling with her own tiny home on some recently bought land that is FAR from ideal to farm on. Steep, bad soil, etc and her mother… a lawyer… cannot understand the ways of her daughter, like… at all.

Then the daughter meets the perfect lover at a farmers market, and they hit it off only to find out her mother is his attorney. Worse yet, the husband/father works for MeDOT who is taking his farm. Suddenly everything is a mess! But it gets worse, the two have had relations (it is a romance-permie story after all) and the daughter makes a meal for her boyfriend and is going to tell him she is with children… twins… after he gets done helping her farm her place with his small tractor. Except he rolls it on the steep land and ends up losing his right arm from forced amputation.

Its bad: he is about to lose his ideal farm to eminent domain, he is being prosecuted for assault to a government official, his girlfriend is having twins and he just lost his arm…

Spoiler alert: Stop reading here if you do not want to know the ending. It does not end the way you think it will!

The mother/wife/attorney puts up a fight in court, but just before the trial a terrible accident occurs and a car driven by teens hits a tree and the driver is killed. At court, the permie man realizes the state wants to improve the roads for safety sake and after thoughtful consideration, willingly gives up his farm to eminent domain. The novel ends with the daughter/girlfriend giving birth in the tiny home as the two realize, despite losing a farm that was 100 times better than what the daughter/girlfriend has, they are going to make the best of it; as permies and as parents. And the mother/wife/lawyer realizes too, her daughters life is going to be very different than that of the path she chose.

Ultimately the theme of the novel is this: acceptance and making the best of what you have.

It sounds corny here in such a blurb, but its a cute novel and would resonate with any permie who has ever struggled with family questioning why such a lifestyle. It might also resonate with those who have great things plucked from their hand due to unfortunate circumstances they had no control of. This novel however, is not yet published.