Toxic Stress

Stress is useful in small doses, we heard this, but not constantly. Stress blocks the bodies natural opioids, they found in women giving birth, making the experience painful instead of orgasmic. Perhaps this finding explains the recent opioid epidemic. Stress lowers libido too. It causes depression. It switches the body to survival mode, which pulls energy from some important functions, including the body's detox process. It can change the way a person thinks, making them more "wild" or "on edge". It can change the features on a person's face to be sharper. It causes a huge number of health problems either directly or indirectly.

As we say in permaculture the cure is simple. Laughter, jokes, play, fun, being around trustworthy individuals, feeling secure.

As Permies, I think we are often all to aware of some major issues in the world which are very very stressful. Many of us put it on our shoulders to solve these problems, not aware of the long term reprucussions of this stress. Yes, growing things and having your feet on dirt are destressors, but what gets us really really stress free? You know, like that time you laughed so hard all you could do was lie there, or that night of sleep you really slept well, etc.

For me I am still figuring this out. I know these things destress me atleast a little: Supportive​ friends and family. Playing games and chilling. Naps and no obligations for a fixed time. Funny movies, good standup comedy. Being able to rely on others, really and truly. Not doing the 9-5-er. Debt free, less obligations for survival. Soft shoulders and hugs with my immediate family. Talking out about my stressors.

What are things that get you detoxed of stress?

The single greatest stress reducing choice I've made in my life, and I made it recently at the end of 2016, is I quit watching/reading/listening to news. I got sick of the daily passive and active input of negative information, so I quit it all together. I have no idea what the new guy in the white house is up to, how many suicide bombings there were last week, or whatever other heinous crimes were committed locally here in Nashville or anywhere else for that matter. I'm now happier and mentally never felt better. I spend my time doing the things I love and reading things I'm interested in, and watching things like Nature and Nova on television. I think about things that I am directly involved in pertaining to my homesteading lifestyle, not worrying about crap. Here's a neat article I stumbled across regarding what I'm talking about: News is Bad.

Edit to try to get the url link thing to work

I had to fight with a relative who always wants to discuss politics. We don't even disagree, but I couldn't function in my day to day life and worry about what politicians are screwing up now. It took months of cutting her off and leaving the room to avoid the topics before she finally started respecting my needs there.

If I'm not actively doing something or making a little progress on a day to day basis, it really bothers me. I also like to create things. So, pretty much making and doing things. Haha. Though I like free time to spend outdoors just for fun, too. Being outside, ideally in a rural or wild location, is an incredible source of stress relief for me. Right now I am a mom of 4 young kids so it makes free time a little scarce, haha.  (While I'm on the topic of the kids, some sleep would be nice! ) I like feeling accepted by a few close individuals for who I am and how I think.

The best thing for me is to avoid toxic, high drama people. But living with my 4 adult children, this can be challenging, as a lot of people coming into my house are not my friends. So, I spend a lot of time outside gardening, or walking my dogs along the bay.

I was not well, for a long time. Starting to learn, that this way of life made me sick. The plan is to sell the house and leave the Bay Area when my youngest graduates college in 2 years, until then, I'm counting the days.

Amit Enventres wrote: Yes, growing things and having your feet on dirt are destressors, but what gets us really really stress free?
What are things that get you detoxed of stress?

The single most important add-on in recent years has been meditation.  And it's partly the meditation sessions themselves that have helped, but just as important is the cultivated stance of being present with your surroundings and your immediate activities, from washing dishes (without stressfully thinking about what you did or did not give for Mother's Day....), to splitting wood (and not stressfully worrying about something you did or did not say to your boss at the end of the day...),  to planting the garden (and not doing so while grinding your teeth over the irritating slow leak in the right rear wheel of the car.....).  In each of these cases, bringing your attention to the task at hand and completing them, to the extent possible, without getting mired in pre-occupations which tend not to provide good solutions anyway, has over time yielded remarkable stress reduction.  In the past, the advice to "stop and smell the roses" was always accompanied by the general notion of a "checklist"....sort of like a "bucket list"....as in "I'm stopping and smelling the roses like I've been directed by the culture to do....".   Now, it really is about being present with the sensations of rose smelling along with attending to the various facets of the rose's color, texture, stage of growth, etc....and 'checklist' is not longer a part of the experience.

Casie Becker wrote:I had to fight with a relative who always wants to discuss politics. We don't even disagree, but I couldn't function in my day to day life and worry about what politicians are screwing up now. It took months of cutting her off and leaving the room to avoid the topics before she finally started respecting my needs there.

Yeah, I have family that loves politics. Luckily, I have family that has opposite opinions, so if I ever go far down one rabbit hole I talk to the other side of the family and get some perspective on it. In fact, being able to step back, look at other's views, consider I might be wrong, and look at the length of time and stuff that's gone on on Earth helps me keep doing and gloom at bay.

I am also used to being motivated by fear. You have to do your homework so you don't fail out of school. You have to dress nice so people won't look at you with disgust, etc. Which is stress driven rather than pleasure driven. I try to do pleasure driven when in the house, but because my life is soooo busy it's not always like that.

So if I were to map my stress level, work and insecurity would be high. Normal activity to manage stress and avoid things that put me over the edge leave me at medium. But low isn't really very common. I'm trying to get there more often and it's not easy.

Stress? Stress is being a full-time farmer where everything from ice cream cones to clothing has to be had by what I produce. (We are a family of 6 and my wife farms along with me). To say I am extremely hard on myself, according to my wife Katie, is an understatement. She feels I am unfair to myself, and I feel as if I do not provide nearly enough...

But as stressful as life is, the key I have found is to just be humble; to realize I cannot do it all, search for help from like-minded individuals when I need it, and ask for forgiveness when I do wrong against someone. You would think that would just set me up for more stressful encounters, but pride is what causes stress and being more humble eliminates it.

Travis Johnson wrote:But as stressful as life is, the key I have found is to just be humble; to realize I cannot do it all, search for help from like-minded individuals when I need it, and ask for forgiveness when I do wrong against someone. You would think that would just set me up for more stressful encounters, but pride is what causes stress and being more humble eliminates it.

Yeah, I think society here beats into us perfection and superheroism. Like I should be asleep now, but no, I need to save the Earth. What a joke! Me save the Earth! But I NEED a purpose, I NEED to make a positive difference, the world HAS to be fixed, I CANNOT screw it up, and then, the funny thing about getting into that superhero mindset is people start relying on you! I like to help. So then I get involved in helping people, but then you know: working growing a family, growing a business, doing a study on sustainability, and being a member of a community (and not just the show up at the occasional party one but the one who makes the parties or helps at them). Suddenly I'm stressed and then what?? Okay, I'd love to drop the day job because that's the most boring, but anyway, my point- self inflicted superheroism stress. Yes asking for help, saying I can't, or even I won't is a real good thing I'm trying poorly to learn to do. My daughter has a children's book with the line: "it's always easy to find help, it's just hard to know when to ask."  I try to remember that when I'm feeling the superhero blues.

I'm finding that technology is giving me stress, especially at work.  I don't tend to spend any time at all on the computer at home, but it's absolutely necessary for my job.  I can't wait to retire. (Sigh)