Some thoughts on managing difficult customer service situations

Here's something I wrote for another forum.  I thought it might be interesting for people new to customer service who are having difficulty navigating 2020.

Oh man, it's been a really tough year.  It's tough on sellers.  It's tough on buyers.  It's tough on everyone.  

It's no wonder emotions are running so high.  

This year I've been so grateful that I once had the worst job in the world - customer retention.  It was a huge company whose policy was to treat their customers like a bit of doggy dodo that was scraped off the bottom of the shoe.  Do everything possible to annoy, insult, degrade, and even cause property damage to several million customers.  Once the person was so angry as to want to quit, they would have to phone up a number, climb a phone tree that would randomly hang up on them, wait on hold for no less than 8 hours.  Then once they are completely saturated in a low-grade evil mud of anger, I get to convince them to stay.  

It was not fun.  But I was good at it.  99% success rate!  

I learned a lot about customer service at that job.  And a lot about life, but that's a story for another day.

-The easiest way to deal with an angry customer - don't let them get angry—plan for problems.  Give clear, honest, and consistent communication.  Never promise anything and always over-deliver on your non-promises.  

- Make plans for WHEN (not IF) things go wrong.  It's going to happen.  It's a lot less stressful to pull out an email template you made two years ago, edit and send it than to compose a whole new one from scratch.

- The one thing most angry people want is to be heard.  Most of the time, all I needed to do was to do a bit of active listening.  This makes sense when we stop and think about it.  How many times in our lives have we felt that the other party hasn't heard or understood our concerns?  I'm betting A Lot!  It's the main problem I have when interacting with other humans - they are so busy thinking about what they think am going to say, they don't bother to hear what I'm actually saying.

- Rewarding good customer behaviour - because it's my own business, I can afford to choose how I respond to customers.  I don't like rewarding poor behaviour.  If a customer is rude or insulting (which hasn't happened with my Etsy customers thankfully), then I give them the gift of time.  I reply that I'll look into it, it may be a specific time frame, I look into it, but I wait until the next business day morning to reply.  It gives me time to compose as short and kind response as possible, and it generally gives the customer time to understand that although they are important, they are not the most important thing in the world.  And when the customer is civil, I tend to go an extra mile or five to help them out.  

- Deferring 'blame'.  Once the parcel has left here, I can't do anything about how fast it travels, if it gets lost or broken.  I don't like to put 'blame' on the post office system, but it does help to remind the customer about the hard-working people at the post office that are doing their very best in these difficult times.  

- Know my laws and rights.  I read the terms and conditions of any platform I sell.  I know what I legally have to do to sell in Canada and in this city.  I know the terms and conditions the post office has for me using them.  Knowledge is a good thing!  

- No means no.  I don't generally promise or refuse anything outright.  But sometimes I do.  Like a person who really wanted to have a free, 2-hour farm and studio tour when right now, I am not admitting anyone due to the local health restrictions.  They felt if they kept asking over and over and over and in different ways, I would relent.  Once I've said "no" or "yes" to something, I need to stick with that, or the customer won't believe what I have to say in the future.

- Kindness.  Always kindness.  I like to imagine the customer has had the worst day ever!  They just found out they have cancer of the puppy and other horrible long fiction about why they are having such a bad day and forgetting to be polite.  If I had that bad a day, I would probably be a little bit curt.  So often, it's not about me.  It's about the tragedy in their lives. We're just 'safe' people to be angry at.  I helps to kindly remind them we are real humans, just like them.  

One last thing that I found helps in my current endeavours - don't underprice.  It's not going to work for everyone here, but even if you think it's a silly idea, it might be worth having a cuppa tea and thinking about it.  Low price = more expectation of problems = seeing more problems.  

I price my items at middle or above the average for my industry.  I make absolutely certain my quality exceeds that price point.  But having such a high price means my customers value what I make THAT much more than they value lower price versions of the same.  There's a concept out there called a 'price moat' (I think that's the spelling - I've only ever heard it) which goes into a lot of detail on the psychology of this.  

R,

I once had a brief (6 month) career in retail management—yuck!  I could hardly wait to get out.  But one of my duties was to deal with upset customers.  The single most effective technique I ever found for dealing with an irrational and upset customer was to “Kill them with kindness.”  I cannot think of a single time that it did not work.

This did not mean giving into the angry customer, but as you put it, actively and critically listen to the customer and let that customer know that they had been sincerely heard and the situation was generally diffused right there.

Angry customers are never pleasant but are generally feeling personally hurt themselves and given just that bit of attention their tempers almost always dampen immediately.

Eric

I recently was having a problem with no internet.

I'm in Texas and was told that the reason I had no internet was that there was a snowstorm in Wyoming and to call back later.

When I called back the technique that the representative used was to just keep passing me to the next person and talk softly so I could not hear them.  My guess was that they figured I would just hang up.

Very well said, R.

If only more executives would read and heed, the world would be a better place.

And if only more of us consumers would reward quality and fairness, and not reward the race to the bottom that squeezes the humanity out of everyone in the name of lowest possible price, the world would be a fabulous place.

As a former boss once said, you get what you incent.

Great post, R, thank you! All the blame and excuses do is make the angry person angrier. It's as if some customer service reps have read one of those "Five things not to do when you apologize" articles, and make it their mission to do every single one.

But mostly, IMO, it trickles down from management. When staff are bullied by their managers, blamed, fed excuses they know are lies, and feel unheard, that's the same behavior they'll go on to use with the customer, unless they're exceptionally self-aware and consciously set a goal to step beyond that. As it's clear you did in that job and do now in your own business. Bravo!

I take the other stance, a rude customer can leave right now and never return, I am not dealing with them why should I? they invariably just want to get something free. When I have been paid to calm people down I can but when I work for myself I will not put up with rudeness and I will quite happily tell someone to leave as their presence is not welcome. Fortunately in Vegetable sales here it doesn't really happen that you get rude customers, you get ones that expect you to drop everything when you are obviously busy to go pick one thing for them from the field (I had this happen when we were quite obviously hosting a large party!)  sometimes I will fetch it, sometimes I will tell them where it is and hand them the knife, other times I just say no. That depends on the customer.

That sounds a healthy response, Skandi!

IMO, there's rude because someone who is normally nice is angry over being messed around, or sometimes wrongly perceiving they're being messed around. And then there's rude because of a sense of entitlement, that their needs and wants come ahead of everyone else's.

The first - I will do all I can to repair the relationship and fix the issue. The second, I am more than happy to set limits, and then it's up to them to choose to either work with my limits or leave.

This also has provided a template for when there IS an issue and you need a problem fixed!

I too spent time in customer retention, for the Post Office, no less! So I get it from both sides.  

Now, if there is an issue I get all my information (printed out, links at the ready to share, etc), then dial. When answered I state " I am not sure who to speak to/how to deal with this" and then "apologize in advance" due to my total ignorance with the product/system etc. This tends to set the stage for HELP, something most folks are willing to do.

When dealing with an account or billing issue, I again have everything ready, highlighted etc. When the call is answered I react with appreciation and a tone of relief, as I find this empowers and incentifies the agent. Often I will ask if they have had a coffee, and do they want to put me on hold to go grab one; I follow this up with fully announcing and acknowledging that they did not cause my problem, nor are they responsible for my problem, but perhaps they can guide me to a resolution?

It seems most agents spend their days being abused, when approached this way, the help seems to come in spades. My situation is resolved, and I always express my honest appreciation for ALL their efforts, even if resolution fails. Even when you need to escalate to a superior, DO NOT dismiss the agent or be rude, they will be briefing their superior before your "transferred call" is picked up. Thank them for their efforts, and be understanding of their limitations, be it power or knowledge.

Don't kid yourself, notes are made on files as to how a customer treats staff. Those notes are and will be reviewed and set the tone for how the agent will approach you, how helpful they will be, and how willing to provide credits or freebies. Good behavior is noted and often rewarded. So always remember to be kind and respectful.

Thank you for creating this topic/thread.

Good advice Lorinne,  I had a job like customer service. People who phoned were curt, some were rude, some abusive, and I could count on one hand the people who were nice. I hung up on abusive people and made notes in their file. There were a few people who were banned, and this was in a work culture that expected nastiness and banning was not allowed. Thank God I am not there anymore. That kind of pressure can kill a person.

For myself I set limits. I don't let people who think they are god, run my life or ruin my day. I politely show them the door if they get abusive. If I control my responses, I can control feelings at times.  

Stay peaceful, the best thing I can do for myself.