Hi, Mark.
excuse me if I sound very paternalistic here.
This is a very important decision, what you are going to do to make a life. It's almost as important as choosing the right partner for the voyage. And the answer to both is the same,
try it for a year before you commit fully to it.
If you think you want the farmer's life, then I would suggest to find a farmer, permaculturist preferably, who is in need of help and take an apprenticeship. There are pages that link farmers with volonteers (however, pandemic is getting in the way). Hopefully, you will learn useful skills before you make big mistakes, but most importantly, you will experience what it is like, and decide if you can live like that for decades.
Permaculture is not just about the farmer's life. You can be a plumber and practice
permaculture gardening at home. You can be an architect, never touch a plant or an animal, but have all your house and your appliances according to
permaculture. One key aspect of permaculture is community, we can't leave people behind just because they are not into farming. In summary,
it's doing the best you can to live sustainably with ethics.
You are still very young, you can learn new skills and make mistakes and recover, but please, be patient. Actually, you will find that a whole year worth of learning is key to success. Take a good honest look at yourself, get to
know yourself. What skills do you thing are the strongest? And the weakest? You don't have to live by your current abilities, but considering them helps very much. Then ask you again, what brings you joy? Family? Animals? Tinkering? Music? Take your time, it's not an easy question. It helps to write this on paper.
Skills and preferences will give you the image of where you are. If you want to go from point A to Z, you must know where point A is, isn't it?
Then, to find happiness you need to
find your purpose in life. Purpose is a very broad concept. You will recognize it because it is not what you think you must do, but what makes you feel good when you do it. What is it? Helping people? Wealth? Learning? Creating community/family? The purpose is not something you decide, if wealth is your purpose you don't wake up one morning and say 'I need to earn more money to be happy', but rather you know you jump on every opportunity to make more money and become sad when you don't have the chance to do it for more pressing issues. When learning is your purpose, gaining 'more' money will not make you happier, trying new things will do. However, you still need to make a life, so failing to make 'some' money is not good either.
Purpose is, in a sense, a compass that marks the right direction for you. Sometimes you have to make a detour, but as long as you keep the direction you'll be fine.
OK, when you know point A and the direction to point Z, it's time to find point B, that is, setting a
realistic short term goal. A good goal is something that you are confident you can achieve in a short time and that is in the path to your purpose in life. If you failed to reach the goal in time, maybe try a more humble goal, maybe make a goal of improving a skill. No matter how humble the goal is, we need to feel success in order to continue on the path.
I suppose that you are instinctively sensing some of this, since you are ready to abbandon the logical path set for you. Farming, it might be the answer, it has a lot to offer. At least gardening is proven to be therapeutical. A good practice after achieving one of your goals is to check whether you are in the right path. Say you succesfully grew the mushrooms, what was it great for? The money saving? The improved health? The tasty result? The marvel of helping a life being to fruit? The learning process until you stopped killing oysters? Being honest with your answer will help you set the next goal right. We have a tendency to fool ourselves into thinking that we are doing things for the highest purposes (saving the world, anyone?) and thus failing to recognize what will really fulfill us.
Sorry for the lecture, I hope it helps.