Suddenly Toxic Coworker

How do you deal with a suddenly toxic coworker?

We are both new to the company, but him being here 6 months more than me. It is only him and I here, but suddenly EVERYTHING I do infuriates him.

I think it’s because I am no longer “learning” as we are both at the same knowledge level on how this place operates. But I can’t stand still, so I stay busy and get things done. He is a bit different; he fills out a job plan for the day, then watches YouTube. I could care less but I cannot do that.

It is not lost on the other workers of our company. I was told the day I started, “Don’t be like him” so I never have. But now if I do something, he tells the boss privately he did it, thought it up, or planned it out. He watches YouTube all day.

I hate to leave this great job, but I can’t do one thing right lately. I was hanging up a boiler certificate in a picture frame and did that wrong! It’s one screw!

Last week he volunteered “us” to do a big job that was going to be contracted out, but it’s because he knows he won’t do the job, I will, and he will take credit for it. It does not seem like a big deal, but after awhile it grates on you; doing all the work, doing nothing right, and being dumb because he thinks everything up.

How would you handle this? I liked where I worked before so I have been thinking about just going back.

Before quitting, I'd have a chat with the boss.  He or she probably knows that you do more of the work, and if not it would be a great time to enlighten them.  If they knew the full story they'd probably rather have you than your coworker.

Unless they're friends on the side or something and then you'll never get a fair shake.

Maybe they've turned toxic since they realized you could usurp them and they're no longer needed?

There are some people who can only build themselves up by pulling other people down. It's their method for maintaining power and control while covering up their mediocrity. They are particularly threatened by those who are smarter and work harder.

Such people are indeed toxic and exhausting to be around. The temptation to cut loose from the whole mess must be strong. But this person is not your supervisor nor the "senior guy" based on 6 months' difference. It's worth opening a conversation with your actual supervisor since the team dynamic is going sideways, and it's time for him/her to act. Losing a trained and effective employee costs companies money.

Get documentation of events, time and days and maybe some other co-workers will collaborate what you complain about...

Mike Haasl wrote:Before quitting, I'd have a chat with the boss.  He or she probably knows that you do more of the work...

I think this is true in many work environments. When you think about it, what it really means is that the manager knows someone is not pulling their weight, yet chooses to do nothing about it on a daily basis. I would not put much faith in such a manager.

In the end, I would say it comes down to how much work you are willing to put in to making something happen. If you are not worried about losing the job, that gives you a trump card over anyone who is. If you are a real people person with the gift of the gab, you can likely get just about anything done you want.  If not, is it worth the frustration of trying to accomplish it, especially if the lazy person does have that personality? If he is more charismatic than you, or is friends with people in high places, about the only way to make something happen is to outsmart him in a way that shows him up, like setting a trap to expose him breaking any rules, especially ones that can get him fired. I think the best tactic would be to have fun with it. Do little things that really get under his skin, while being overtly nice to him. Say things like, "Hey, can you leave youtube long enough to help me with such and such? Don't worry, it'll still be there when you get back." See if you can get better internet security at the facility. Many businesses block many sites, like youtube for obvious reasons. Bring it up at a meeting in front of the guy, even. It would be a jab where if he argued against it, he would look bad, and no one could blame you for doing anything wrong. Take lots of pics if allowed of the upcoming project of you doing work, with him conspicuously absent. Make a poster afterwards and ask if you can hang it up somewhere, to show pride in the company, and boost morale. Maybe even include a pic of him watching youtube, lol. Or videos for a video montage. Walk by the guy watching youtube and say, "and there's so and so hard at work like always..."  If there is no policy against nicknames, make his nickname "Youtube." If you can get everyone else in on it, all the better. If he whines to management, they will probably say, "why do they call you 'Youtube'?" He'll look ridiculous. There's plenty of things you could do, it's just a question of whether you feel it's worth it.

Well, there are a hundred ways to call out rat brained individuals. They are tenacious, and you will have to be doubly so.

But the critical question: is it worth the fuss?

If economic survival or professional reputation is on the line, gird yourself for the long fight, and fight with all legal tools. Take the high road always.

One of the most important things about permies, homesteading, FIRE, Mustachianism, and all the rest is giving yourself the power to choose. As opposed to being desperate for every paycheque. This path gives people agency - the power to act in their own best interest.

Absolutely, engage with your supervisor. And call up your old contacts. Being wise, you left on good terms, yes? Have a chat over a beer or a coffee.

I hope you will have the option to just flush the toilet and move on.

(Long speech. My 2c.)

Hello.
My uncle told me a story that might be relevant.
He was a manager on a local depot for a larger company. He had an employee who was like the one you mentioned, and this employee was undermining my uncle's authority in the work. So the time came when the managers of the bigger company were sold on promoting the other guy. That's what these people do: they know how to sell their images to people above. Well, the guy got his promotion aaannd... guess what. Once he had to take responsibility, he failed miserably. The guy had a lot of ideas, but none of them where proved. It ended up costing money to everyone.

So, if no one (relevant) sees how awful your coworker is, try to put him in a position where everyone can see how he works. That would require you to stop working with him. Maybe you can ask to work with someone other? Say you need a more focused work environment with fewer distractions in order to be efficient or whatever you think might get you some result.