finding a balance of work and play

So much of my homesteading lifestyle revolves around the things I do: planting, gardening, critter care, milking, mulching, compost making, harvesting, preserving, cheesemaking, pasture improvement, fence repair, lifestyle documentation, and of course (my least favorite) housework. Then there is the long project list my husband and I are working on: swale digging, hugelkulture making, and building projects such as repairing and upgrading our 100-year-old home and our greenhouse. My days are very busy but at their end, I feel like I've been productive. I have no complaints; I love my life.

One of our recent projects was finally finishing another room in our old house. We have two rooms that have been storage and catch-alls while we slowly work on the house, but this one is exciting to me because it is becoming my sewing/fiber/textile room!

The repairs are now done and I've finished painting. Currently, I'm going through all the boxes of equipment and supplies that I'd stuffed into storage. I can now unpack them and find permanent homes for everything. I feel good that I can finally do this, and it feels constructive to unpack boxes, sort, purge, clean, and organize their contents. But now I find myself conflicted. Where am I going to find the time to reconnect with the activities I love? I have so much fun when I'm engaged in sewing, or spinning, or weaving, that it doesn't feel like work. And then I start to feel guilty because I have too much to do! How can I waste time having so much fun!

Surely, I'm not the only one who experiences this. How do others deal with it? How do you find a balance between "work" and "play?"

I understand. I'm doing similar.... But now I'm pregnant and am having trouble doing any of it.

You will learn. Sometimes it takes a something more important coming up to reorganize you, but we both know it's coming- especially because things are always changing on a homestead! One step at a time. Don't get overwhelmed.

I think it was Charles Long, in "How to Live Without a Salary," who realized that all the happy non-work off-grid stuff, in all its glory, becomes, in fact, your work.

And guess what, you need to take a vacation from "your work," no matter how noble. Get off that property, see some sights, walk a new town, and reset your head and your perception.

And when you return, refreshed by different vistas, you will look at your patch with new eyes and realize how awesome it is. And then, a day later, you will be immersed in "the work" but with renewed purpose.

Douglas Alpenstock wrote:I think it was Charles Long, in "How to Live Without a Salary," who realized that all the happy non-work off-grid stuff, in all its glory, becomes, in fact, your work.

And guess what, you need to take a vacation from "your work," no matter how noble. Get off that property, see some sights, walk a new town, and reset your head and your perception.

And when you return, refreshed by different vistas, you will look at your patch with new eyes and realize how awesome it is. And then, a day later, you will be immersed in "the work" but with renewed purpose.

Yes, I totally agree with this. My wonderful hobbies can be just as demanding (and draining, in their way!) as any full-time job I've ever had, although I love them. So I love them, but I also love taking vacations from them. So schedule yourself mini-vacations--as in, put them on the calendar every so often, and hold yourself to those appointments!

My problem is that my actual work is by many regarded as "play", because making art is supposed to be just fun. But when it's work it's just work, if you take it seriously.
Recently someone asked me how do I find time for my garden. Well sometimes I just don't, and then a part of it becomes neglected (which sometimes is beneficial in the end). But I also don't watch tv and gardening is my "fitness workout" too, and other times I think of it as just part of housekeeping, which most people find time to do. I guess it's mostly about finding balance. Sometimes I find myself too focused on one area of life, and not enough on others, so I give them more attention for a while.

Douglas Alpenstock wrote:And guess what, you need to take a vacation from "your work," no matter how noble. Get off that property, see some sights, walk a new town, and reset your head and your perception.

And when you return, refreshed by different vistas, you will look at your patch with new eyes and realize how awesome it is. And then, a day later, you will be immersed in "the work" but with renewed purpose.

I'd say this is good advice for anyone who is overwhelmed or experiencing burnout. That's a very real problem, but it's a different issue, so I'd rather not pull the discussion in that direction.

For example, when I'm unpacking those boxes, I feel productive, while all the while I'm itching to start another tablet weaving project. Or, I can sit at the computer for two hours researching swales and feel like I'm "doing" something. But if I spend two hours knitting socks, I feel like I'm wasting time! Somehow I need to find a balance.

Flora Eerschay wrote:Sometimes I find myself too focused on one area of life, and not enough on others, so I give them more attention for a while.

I GET THIS! When I'm really immersed in something I tend to keep going and keep going. I'm always happy with what I've accomplished, but it doesn't lend itself to balance.

gardening is my "fitness workout" too, and other times I think of it as just part of housekeeping,

This speaks to me of stacking functions, which is a concept I've found immensely helpful in doing the more mundane tasks in my life. The more useful outcomes I can find for a task, the more motivated I am to do it. So, maybe I need to think of my fiber and textile arts in the same way. Hmm.

I use the jobs that I like to do, even though many might not consider them play as rewards.  I love to sew so that could be considered a reward.

In fact, "play" would be long walks in the woods which many would not consider work.

I tell myself something like "If I get this job (_____) done then I can go for a walk in the woods."  Or I might do some mending which usually gets put on the back burner.

Guess what! Reading this topic made me want to go spin some wool. I did a few stressful tasks earlier today, and I have a pile of beautiful wool ready for spinning, given to me by a friend who said she doesn't have time to spin it. I thought that I won't have time either, but I'm going to do this now because I have some time and it will be my mindfulness practice, so I can let go of some anxiety from doing the stressful stuff!

Anne Miller wrote:I use the jobs that I like to do, even though many might not consider them play as rewards.  I love to sew so that could be considered a reward.

Anne, I've been thinking about this while I've been out working in the garden. I think your thoughts might be a really helpful way to "re-train" myself to think differently. I'm figuring out that a lot of it is a matter of perspective. While I love all of my homesteading activities, I somehow think of them as "work" and anything else as "play." I love writing too, and was able to justify several years of taking the time to write books as "work" because they contribute to our homestead income. Other creative endeavors, however, I'm not seeing as work, even though they are useful and productive. Maybe I need new definitions.

Flora Eerschay wrote:Guess what! Reading this topic made me want to go spin some wool. I did a few stressful tasks earlier today, and I have a pile of beautiful wool ready for spinning, given to me by a friend who said she doesn't have time to spin it. I thought that I won't have time either, but I'm going to do this now because I have some time and it will be my mindfulness practice, so I can let go of some anxiety from doing the stressful stuff!

I love this! And thank you for sharing it. It makes my heart happy and gives me more ways to see creative pursuits as stacking functions.

I know what you mean. To me there are two types of work: drudge work and fulfilling work. There is no concrete line between them, and I don't feel anyone can definitely tell anyone else which is which. Generally, drudge work is doing work because I am coerced, either by time, need, imposition of others, etc. Fulfilling work is doing work that I find amusing, exciting, beautiful, educational, or helpful. Fulfilling work is often illogical, or at least doing something in a less effective manner just because I want to do it that way (such as using hand tools rather than power tools). Fulfilling work can rather easily become drudge work, but the opposite is rare. Consider a person who loves fishing and decides the ideal occupation would be to open a tackle shop. This often does not go well. At the end of the day, I think generally drudge work mostly feeds the needs of the body, while fulfilling work mostly feeds the needs of the mind.

I think the different personality types comes into play as well. Some people who are "workaholics" seem to me to get fulfillment from just about any work. I think a growing problem today is with a growing number of people who do not seem to get any fulfillment from any work. I imagine there is some scientific reasoning with serotonin, dopamine, etc., but what each person feels regarding which work I imagine we ultimately have no clue. All I can think is that it is important to be introspective and to know one's self. If introspection does not come naturally to one, it might be a good idea to try to develop the ability. "Let your heart be your guide."

I've been thinking a great deal about all this. I started with an idea I read somewhere, about giving oneself permission to do (whatever). Somehow, that hasn't helped, so I've been exploring other ideas.

I liked what Anne said about using fun activities as a motivational reward. And that that got me thinking about budgeting my time. In summer, my mornings are for the garden, before it gets too hot. Afternoons are indoors, with activities like canning, dehydrating, and cheese making. Yet, I have wait times with the afternoon activities. I need to stick around, but when I'm waiting on the timer, I have a free bit of time.

And that led to looking at how I spend that free bit of time. Or the time I take when I need a break from the heat or something strenuous. So much of that time is spent on the computer looking at distractions. And that's time I could spend sewing another seam, knitting a few more rows, or weaving another inch or two.

I also spend a large chunk of my time writing. For years now, this has seemed essential, but it's a time consuming task for me, especially blogging because it takes time write clearly and stay on topic. One the one hand, my homestead blog is valuable as a journal. Dan and I refer to it a lot for things I've documented. But somehow, when it became somewhat popular, I put an obligation on myself to produce X amount of content in X amount of time. I need to rethink that.

Another thing I'm realizing is that I'm not very good at "picking my battles." My example is our ongoing problem with bermuda grass in the garden and horse nettle in the pastures. Every summer I work hard to try and defeat the stuff, but every year it wins anyway. Perhaps I'm struggling with things that aren't in my power to change anyway.

Another thing I've been thinking about is how I define work. Dividing activities into work and fun isn't necessarily accurate. Jordan's idea of drudge versus fulfilling work is probably closer to accurate. If it's part of my daily chores, I'm okay with it. Other things, however, I think need to be redefined in my mind.

So, nothing terribly profound here. Just a realization that my personal definitions and expectations need updating.

Hi Leigh,
I can sympathize with your plight. I often find myself working on one project, and feeling bad that I am not working on a different one.

My first thought is to remember that we ought to be thankful to have this problem. Many people in the world right now, or most of the world for much of history did not have this question. They worked to survive, and while there was times of recreation and "play", it was few and far between. People did not have time to reward themselves with an hour of tv at night... because they had to finish getting food ready for the winter (plus TV's didn't exist).

Today, we live in a country that is prosperous and peaceful (for the most part), and have time for leisure. You commented that you did not feel knitting some socks is as valuable a use of your time as researching swales. Personally, I think that is a very good use of time, but certainly we have to prioritize. When I saw the question I thought it would be watching TV purely for entertainment vs weeding the garden. Your examples seem to be choices between good and useful things and good and useful things.

I like lists, so my first thought is to make a list of everything you can think of that needs to get done and that you want to get done. Then begin sorting them by restrictions. For instance, waiting 3 months probably won't work for getting tomato seedlings into the ground, but finishing the winter scarf may not be as important in July. You can't cut hay in the rain. And you may have to freeze those greenbeans now, so they don't spoil. Look and see what have restrictions on weather, time, daylight, etc. It is likely that you can knit after dark, but it would be a bit harder to build a shed after dark. Then see if you can start to prioritize your list based on those restrictions. If you focus on what can't be changed, then it might be easier to deal with the rest of the list.

Good luck on this. It is never easy, but we can certainly be grateful, because there are a lot of people who would live to be doing what you are doing right now.

Leigh, I just spent some time one evening last week and a big chunk of Saturday morning (when I had a long list of urgent tasks to do) rearranging a PACKED garage full of stuff, in order to clear a space to erect a workbench. The parts to the workbench were partly the problem of the "stuffed-ness" of the garage, hurriedly moved inside and left in the once open center of the room. It is still in pieces, but ready to go back together in its new, useful, spot. I worked hard on Sunday to catch up on the job put off, and feel good about having done both. It feels good that I'm close to having a lighted, indoor space to work, instead of the tailgate of my pickup, or sawhorses in the driveway.

As far as productive downtime, or using "waiting" time while other things are happening, using that time to complete short/small tasks means not having to do a bunch of those later on, possibly freeing up a larger block of time for "leisure" without splitting your attention.

For the journaling vs. blogging, the journaling seems like it's "for you" and capturing data, moments, thoughts, and the blogging seems like time spent writing prose to present all of that to others. Not that that's a bad thing, but maybe less urgent than other work or leisure. Permission to "say no" and take some time for leisure can be hard.

The "weeds" winning is difficult, I fight the same battle, the best advice I have heard is to not let the weed you desire gone to propagate, flower, set seed... It might mean only mowing or cutting back rather than pulling or removing, but keeps it from getting worse. The other is to maintain your progress, rather than chase your tail. Weed 'A', then weed 'B' but also 'A' again. Weed 'C' but then weed 'B' and 'A' again... and so on. Whatever you missed or grew back from remnants you will catch on subsequent passes, and be less each time.

"Play" is another form of self-care which is very important to your mental health and will make the "work" seems less encumbering.
Don't find the time to play, make the time to play.
Maybe scheduling those times will make it easier to manage and give you something to look towards and forward to.

A way to possibly give yourself permission to "play" at your sewing/weaving/fiber is to incorporate it somehow into your other needs/tasks, such as making utilitarian things you will use for/during your other work. Clothing, a bag, a towel, pot holders, strap or holster for a tool... (I'm just grasping at ideas here...)