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Concerned Parent: Child Having a Hard Time Adjusting After a Move

 
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We recently went through a major life change and moved to a new city. At first, I thought my child would adjust quickly, but over the past few weeks I’ve noticed some worrying changes. They’ve become much quieter, easily irritated, and no longer show interest in making new friends. This is very different from how they used to be—they were outgoing, talkative, and loved being around other kids.
At home, small things seem to overwhelm them, and they often retreat to their room instead of wanting to spend time together as a family. I try to be patient and reassuring, but as a parent it’s hard not to worry when you see such a shift in your child’s behavior.
Because I was feeling unsure about how to support them, I decided to visit a nearby therapist to better understand what my child might be going through. During that process, I started learning more about emotional support options and came across information about ESA letters while doing my own research. I noticed that several websites offer ESA-related services, such as My ESA Therapist, Fast ESA Letter , and ESA Doctors, but it’s honestly overwhelming to figure out what’s legitimate and appropriate, especially when it involves children.
I understand that moving can be stressful for kids, especially when it means leaving behind familiar places, routines, and friendships. Still, I’m wondering how long this adjustment period usually lasts and what has helped other parents during similar transitions.
 
pioneer
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Ah, I remember feeling this way when we moved when I was about 8 years old.

Have you been talking to your child through the process, in age-appropriate ways, about why you decided or needed to move, and your own feelings about what you've left behind and moved towards?  I think that would have helped me to understand more about my overwhelming feelings, if one of my special people shared in that way.
 
steward
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Welcome to the forum!

Knowing the age of the child might help folks make suggestions.

My suggestion would be to take the time to spend some time with the child showing new things that might interest them.

What does the child like to do?  what are their interests?

Is the a zoo? A park they might like?

what about story time at the library?

Maybe art classes or horseback riding?

It is a big, big world out there that you can show the child...
 
rocket scientist
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Welcome to Permies, Matt!
How old is your child?

When I was a child, we'd move roughly every three years after my dad's (successful) career.
I was jealous of the kids that 'had known each other since the sandbox', but learned quickly to adapt.
Until with one move, I landed in a situation where I got bullied a lot. Eventually I learned to deter the bullies and we moved. Both things were needed to get out of the emotional rut I was in. Being bullied maybe looks like 'nothing' from the outside, but on the inside, when you try to figure out your identity, and your peers are making fun of you, it's crushing.

Every child wants to be seen and heard, especially by their parents. Some even revert to negative action to draw attention.
The key here is to make time and space to really connect with your child, to share - from you to them as well, as Ac suggested.
With small children, you might do some crafts together and chat. Not just once, but maybe once or twice a week?
With teenagers, going for a walk together, or a 'date' (pizza?) and talk whilst out of the house would be helpful.
Generally girls like to make eye contact whilst talking, boy's don't. I learnt quickly to walk or sit side by side with my son when talking about sensitive stuff.

A helpful little tidbit I learnt from all the moving was, that 'the same people are everywhere'. A friend, a friendly elderly, the bully, the joker, the nerd etc etc. They have different names and faces, but they're all there, everywhere. Encourage curiosity to observe. If your child is missing their friends, maybe try to arrange a video chat or something like that for them to connect ?
Good luck, and come back with any questions or remarks, I'm all ears (well, eyes) and heart, eager to ease the transition.


 
pollinator
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What are

ESA-related services

?
 
Anne Miller
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Matt Cole wrote: During that process, I started learning more about emotional support options and came across information about ESA letters while doing my own research. I noticed that several websites offer ESA-related services, such as My ESA Therapist, Fast ESA Letter , and ESA Doctors, but it’s honestly overwhelming to figure out what’s legitimate and appropriate, especially when it involves children.



A lot of hospitals that deal with children and the elderly have been using animal, especially dogs.

This is something that has been tested for many years and it does help.

I have recently seen this especially with horses.

Above I suggested horseback riding and that would be good if you can find an ESA (Emotional Support Animal) riding stable.

I have always believed that I am the best person to help my child.  Showing some extra love and attention goes a long ways.

If you can pinpoint a specific area where your child is showing signal that might help folks with recommendations.

Does your child show interest in owning a specific animal?  Since we don't know the age of you child it is hard to suggest a pet.

For younger children a hamster, turtle of fish might help them and give them the knowledge of how to care for a pet.
 
pollinator
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Howdy
Here's what I experienced when my Dad moved family from Fresno Calif to St Louis/Kirkwood Missouri, in 1968.
I had just finished 10th grade. I didn't like the high school, dress code, could not wear colored tee shirts, or blue jeans. No sandals unless you wore socks!  There was no HS Auto Shop, like Calif.The culture seemed to be 10 years behind. Long hair and the PEACE sign got me expelled.

When I made some friends they were all from other areas, had just moved to Missouri also.

I continued to be expelled for being a "rebel rouser" and eventually just quit and ran away back to Calif.
My parents divorced. My sister told me, "Be glad you don't live here..."
But that was the 60's....I never finished HS.

My interest still remain the same, grew up with Summers in the Sierras, Hiking, Fly Fishing, outdoors...
And yes I was and still am a Rebel Rousing Hippie!

PEACE
 
gardener
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Kids usually react like you describe. They're mourning for what they lost for a while. Incapable of believing things will become normal again. How long this lasts depends on the character of the child a lot and the surrounding.. If they are seen as interesting to be with they make friends quickly to replace the loss..
My daughter and her mom moved many times after the split. One time was very bad, she was really down and really didn't like the new place, but soon she felt better than before. Then she had to move back from where she came from and really resisted that.
I know a friend who migrated to another country (state i guess is the same). One kid was sad for a long time, but he's still here in the countryside the adapting kid moved away.
Be there for the child, speak with them, talk about why you had to, maybe show you also have a hard time leaving things behind. But don't let it get to you too much either, because they will bounce back before summer normally.
 
Anne Miller
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I suspect that Matt has a younger kid though we will never know until he lets us know how old his kid is ...

And then we can give age appropriate answers.
 
pollinator
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It often takes months for a kid to get used to a new place, make new friends etc.  I had a best friend when I was young, we stayed best friends for many years after she moved away, so I remember what her experience was like, she moved in the middle of her 7th grade year and she didn't really get situated and happy again until about 2 or 3 months into her 8th grade year, it took her almost a year to settle and get a new group of friends, but once it happened she was happy and loved living there.
 
pollinator
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John C Daley wrote:What are

ESA-related services

?


This refers to quality-of-life-related services, such as access to counseling, financial advice, etc. offered through an employer or employer network, often at a reduced rate or for free.
 
Anne Miller
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It would be nice to hear back from the original post with answers to all the questions that have been asked ...
 
Anne Miller
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Ned Harr wrote:

John C Daley wrote:What are

ESA-related services

?


This refers to quality-of-life-related services, such as access to counseling, financial advice, etc. offered through an employer or employer network, often at a reduced rate or for free.



That is one answer though I feel the original poster was talking about  ESA (Emotional Support Animal) .
 
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