• Post Reply Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
permaculture forums growies critters building homesteading energy monies kitchen purity ungarbage community wilderness fiber arts art permaculture artisans regional education skip experiences global resources cider press projects digital market permies.com pie forums private forums all forums
this forum made possible by our volunteer staff, including ...
master stewards:
  • Carla Burke
  • Nancy Reading
  • r ranson
  • John F Dean
  • Timothy Norton
  • paul wheaton
  • Jay Angler
stewards:
  • Pearl Sutton
  • Anne Miller
  • Tereza Okava
master gardeners:
  • Christopher Weeks
gardeners:
  • M Ljin
  • Matt McSpadden
  • Megan Palmer

A New Goal For Parenting (Clue: not happiness)

 
steward
Posts: 6440
Location: United States
3130
transportation forest garden tiny house books urban greening the desert
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I love TEDtalks. Here is a sweet and touching one that I liked by Jennifer Senior about why she thinks happiness is a high bar for parents, and at the end of the video she suggests what she thinks is a more reasonable bar to aim for:

-to do as little harm as possible (i.e. the Hippocratic Oath)
 
steward
Posts: 6601
Location: Everett, WA (Western Washington State / Cascadia / Pacific NW)
2190
8
hugelkultur purity forest garden books food preservation
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
Oh, I liked this! And how she described new goals for 'no script' parenting: "decency. a work ethic. love."
 
pollinator
Posts: 4148
Location: Kansas Zone 6a
328
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I agree with most of it, except the goal is too low. The goal of a parent should be to raise good parents.
 
steward
Posts: 3778
Location: Moved from south central WI to Portland, OR
1028
13
hugelkultur urban chicken food preservation bike bee
  • Likes 4
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I think the goal of a parent should be to raise good people.
 
pollinator
Posts: 289
Location: Whitefish, Montana
11
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
We are in an interesting period in time in how we as a species approach parenting.

Good video. I resonated with the part about two parents comparing themselves to others and how men are typically less able to multitask

When I'm not working on permaculture projects at Organic Life Guru, I'm writing about "Conscious Parenting" here: Unconventional Parents
 
pollinator
Posts: 4328
Location: Anjou ,France
262
  • Likes 2
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I believe that peranting should be taught in schools along with wex education.
Studies have shown ( I can get links if you want ) that it works better at preventing crime , drug abuse and other antisocial behavior .
Polititans just dont want to know about this solution as it costs and does not fit in with their preset ideas .

David
 
pollinator
Posts: 928
Location: Melbourne FL, USA - Pine and Palmetto Flatland, Sandy and Acidic
54
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator

Julia Winter wrote:I think the goal of a parent should be to raise good people.



I think there is nothing wrong with raising children to be good parents. Raising them to be just good people would leave them unprepared for responsibility of children. Statistically it is overwhelmingly in favor that a child will produce offspring when they are adults.
 
master gardener
Posts: 4969
Location: Carlton County, Minnesota, USA: 3b; Dfb; sandy loam; in the woods
2663
7
forest garden trees books chicken food preservation cooking fiber arts seed woodworking homestead ungarbage
  • Likes 1
  • Mark post as helpful
  • send pies
    Number of slices to send:
    Optional 'thank-you' note:
  • Quote
  • Report post to moderator
I wish I'd seen this thirty years ago.

All I want is for my children to be happy.


When I was a young parent, that was definitely my thinking and goal. In retrospect is seems pretty dumb. Why would I be able to raise happy kids when I haven't ever been happy (beyond ephemeral local experiences) myself? I'm not even sure I know what it means!

Also, her claim that "to parent" only became a verb in 1970 is kind of amazing.
 
Your mother was a hamster and your father was a tiny ad:
permaculture bootcamp - gardening gardeners; grow the food you eat and build your own home
https://permies.com/wiki/bootcamp
    Bookmark Topic Watch Topic
  • New Topic