Rhys Firth wrote:...or a Pizza...
I apologize for the fact that the following has damn little to do with this
thread. But you have triggered my favorite pizza memory.
In 1983 when I was a young teen, my father and I spent four months by ourselves in a tent camp on the upper 70-mile river in Alaska. We were looking for gold, which we did not find in appreciable quantities. We were living fairly primitively, with one dog to bark at bears, sleeping tents, a wall tent to cook in, a
wood cook stove, a folding Coleman camp
oven, and such shelf-stable canned and dried food staples as we had freighted (packed in 55-gallon steel bear-resistant storage drums) over fifty miles of winter-only trail behind snowmobiles the winter before. It was our fourth year of such living and we were getting good at it, but it was the first year my mother did not join us, and she had such a low opinion of our camp cookery skills that she feared we would starve.
In fact, we lived high on the hog. Sunday was baking day; we made three dried-apple pies and three pans of whole wheat cinnamon rolls with raisins and walnuts, and ate them for breakfast (we each got one-quarter of a pie and 3 of 12 cinnamon rolls each morning) throughout the mining week. (This was our revolt after three years in which my mother insisted that the only practical breakfast foods in mining camp was oatmeal or
pancakes. We were royally sick of both.) On baking day we also made enough loaves of bread for our daily lunch peanut butter or cheese sandwiches. Dinners were stuff like pasta and rice and beans, with whatever game we could get or a bit of canned bacon for flavor when we didn't have game.
We were about fifty miles from the nearest town (where we lived) and there were NO other people within about twenty very rough walking miles. Some time in August, we saw our first other humans. We called them "the California boys" because they were prospectors from California. They came floating down the river on a makeshift raft, with a floating plastic suction dredge. But when we met them, they were *hungry*. Their idea of mining rations had been Lipton dried soup mixes and rice, and they had zero notion of how to pack such things securely. At the first white
water they had dumped their raft, and most of their dried soup got wet and dissolved. The rice, too, mostly got wet and then it got moldy so they threw it away. By the time we met them, they had been living for a couple of weeks on tiny grayling (think trout, but the ones they were catching were the size of large minnows) and the few packets of cup-o-noodle they had that had turned out to be waterproof.
So, naturally, we invited them to dinner. We did it up fine. We made a fresh mincemeat pie (using our last quart mason jar of my mother's extremely rich home-canned mincemeat made with actual ground moose and many dried fruits and spices) and individual pizzas for everybody, served on special "plates" I had made from thin rounds of cottonwood cut with a chainsaw from a huge cottonwood log and varnished with vegetable oil. Dough was just our usual bread dough, rolled thin and put on pizza pans in our camp oven over a red-hot
wood stove. Sauce was our usual pasta sauce, from canned tomato paste flavored with dried onion, garlic powder, dehydrated green peppers, and grease from canned bacon. For toppings we had dried parmesan cheese, the last of our carefully hoarded "fresh" cheddar cheese (which keeps amazingly well if you wrap it in vinegar-soaked cloths to prevent mold), fried bits of the canned bacon, and canned black olives.
The California boys were so astonished they could barely close their mouths long enough to chew. They had got it in their heads that if you went into the Alaskan wilderness in search of gold, you had to "rough it". Which meant, to them, taking just the minimum of provisions that you could "cook" in a
coffee can over a camp fire. Finding us camped in comfort in the middle of what was (to them) trackless wilderness, serving pizza and pie to strangers, just completely blew their minds. We had to keep repeating our mantra: "We aren't out here to rough it, we're out here to smooth it!"
Let me try to drag this back on topic. I am imagining a
husp pizza, made there on the Lab with ingredients grown Paul's way: a simple water-flour-yeast crust using whatever grain (
perennial wheat?) ya got, fresh or sun-dried tomatoes, onions and garlic, cheese from whatever
milk animal is handy, a couple of meat toppings from whatever was recently butchered, a couple of fresh vegetable toppings. Has anybody built a rocket pizza oven yet? I'm hungry just thinking about it! (Notwithstanding my earlier comments, I'm not sure price is really even relevant; a product like that is unobtainable in the broader world, and is thus quite literally priceless.)